100 Unplanned Stories
by Crisis Masuko
Summary: Based on the infamous 100-art challenge, taken to my universe of Kingdom Hearts. Various shounen-ai pairings, stay tuned...
1. Introduction

A/N: OKAY OKAY OKAY. Just to clear up some confusion y'all may be having: this is all one story.

It's not a series of one-shots, it's not a bunch of drabbles, it's all one semi-linear story. (With flashbacks.)

At the start of the story, Roxas and Sora are second-years. Riku and Axel are both one year older than them, as are Zexion and Demyx. JUST SO YOU KNOW. (and to make the story less fucking confusing)

And so! On with the show! (...and see bluecrysto. deviantart. com for fanart...) *whistles innocently*

* * *

"I refuse to move until you tell me who we're meeting with." Riku crossed his arms, giving his other half an amused look. Roxas rolled his eyes, wondering why he was being so unreasonable today.

"Can't you just let me surprise you every once in awhile?" The blond gestured impatiently, sparing a glance at his watch. "We're making him wait."

Indifferent turquoise met stubborn blue. In the end, though, Riku sighed and took Roxas's hand, features lightening. Smiling, the smaller of the two led him down to their lunchtime café, _Crimson Jazz_. The mid-autumn wind bit into their jackets, chilling the two enough to get them moving. Red maple leaves scattered in a flurry at their feet. Riku tossed his hair ineffectually-- Roxas laughed merrily as his boyfriend's long hair got caught in his face.

Riku wondered why Roxas was so bubbly today. The little blond had gotten a phone call earlier and had all but squealed in happiness by the end of it, promising to meet up today. To tell the truth, he was a little jealous to what could get the normally calm kid so excited, but knew he had no grounds to feel that way. He was pretty sure that he wouldn't even know the kid Roxas was introducing him to, much less be able to really get along with him. The silver-haired kid flicked a little lint off his sweater vest nevertheless. You just never knew…

Roxas gave his hand a brief squeeze, catching his eye. The older of the two squeezed back with a fond smirk, then pushed inside. Once his hair was properly adjusted, Riku followed the blond to the tables near the bar. He cast a look around and abruptly stopped.

_No… no it can't be…it's just someone who looks exactly…oh fuck._ The person in question was a certain spiky-haired brunet wearing a bold-colored hoodie and board shorts, mysteriously wearing flip-flops in this chilly weather. He was grinning from ear to ear, exchanging friendly punches with his… cousin… _Oh god… this won't end well._

A flash of blue. The brunet suddenly froze, too, staring at Riku the way the silver-haired boy was probably looking at him. The third-party looked confused.

"What's wrong? You two know each other?"

Riku barked a laugh. "'Do we know each other'…" He muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets. Roxas's face fell.

"Do we ever…" Sora examined his toes, then pretended to tug at a spike. Roxas looked helplessly confused now.

A moment passed, then Riku grimaced. "Well, Sora, guess what? I'm _gay. _Though of course, I don't care whether you tell the entire _country_ this time." He made a half-assed sweeping motion, smiling wryly. Sora made a weak protesting noise, then lowered his eyes again, face darkening.

"_This_ time?" Roxas cut in, worried as heck by now. "What the hell _happened_ between you guys?! What story am I missing out on?!" Afraid to touch either of them, he hugged himself nervously, looking from blue to turquoise and back. "Sora…Riku…"

"Long story." Riku sighed, taking a seat, averting his eyes. After a moment, Sora sat on the other side of the booth, silent. Roxas sighed, pulled up a chair, and crossed his arms.

"I'm not going anywhere fast."

Silence ensued. The blond was irritated now. This was awkward, and why the hell were his two favorite people fighting?! He roughly took Sora's hand, yanked his boyfriend's hand from his pocket, and pulled them onto the table.

"Alright, guys, you are going to talk NOW or I'm leaving. I'm tired of this prissy bullshit and I want to know what the fuck is wrong with you two. I deserve to know!" He glared alternately at both of them, Sora's startled, guilty look just as abashed as Riku's defensive grimace. Their hands laid uncomfortably in Roxas's grip, too warm, too close.

Finally, Sora sighed and withdrew his hand, Riku the same. "We grew up together. We were best friends until my freshman year of high school." Roxas's cousin began, eyes pained…


	2. Love

"Love…huh?" Roxas twiddled absently with his pendant, staring into space. He'd often wondered about it: well, who didn't? The blond rolled over on his comforter, closing his eyes for a moment. He'd been "In a Relationship", according to the almighty FaceSpace, with Riku for the past two months. They'd been dating for three months before that, though, unbeknownst to all except their most trusted friends.

He'd watched enough Disney movies to know that people couldn't pin down an exact definition for it. He'd (secretly) read enough comics and fan fiction to know that people had a _lot_ of different ways to express it. There was never a shortage of people who looked like they were in love, walking hand in hand down quiet hallways or sitting together in benches a little ways apart from everyone else. But Roxas's problem was…

He didn't know how to tell if he was in love or not. Did his heart leap a little when Riku called? Most of the time-- some days he felt gross and didn't relish _anyone's_ company-- but did that mean he didn't love Riku as much as he could? Would he give up a lot to be with his boyfriend? Sure. Not his grades, or his life, but he'd skipped an Ars Arcanum concert the day Riku'd come down with the flu. Usually people said they'd die for the one they loved, and that worried him. Did he enjoy kissing and cuddling with Riku? God, yes. But wasn't that just partly lust? Roxas didn't know.

The little blond made an aggravated noise, muffled by his comforter. His eyes flicked silently to the ceiling as he studied the cracks spider-webbing the plaster.

He didn't know whether Riku loved him, either. He knew the other often only smiled for him, waited for him patiently when he was running late, or even when he was on-time, and as far as he'd heard, wasn't cheating on him. Roxas felt a little sad to have such low standards for his boyfriend, but it felt… like it was one-sided sometimes. He'd drag Riku out of his panic attacks, take care of him when he was ill, take his hand when the other didn't notice that the blond was behind him… and it hurt sometimes.

Yes, Riku was a gentleman, well-mannered, charming, probably even a little tongue-in-cheek, and he was amazing at everything he put effort into. He'd garnered an unofficial fan club on campus, and was always getting accepted into this honors society or another. And sometimes, Roxas wished he wasn't all that, just so he could feel less nervous about the competition. There were tons of girls out there with intellect and charm just like Riku, and even a few guys, and it made Roxas nervous. He'd put his trust in Riku, but he was always wondering whether that'd been a wise choice.

He felt that one day, Riku could just let go of his hand, keep walking, and never look back. And that scared him almost into tears. The blond clutched at his comforter, burying his face into it despairingly. The pendant pressed into the meat of his palm.

He'd read once that love meant always being nervous about the future. Always feeling inferior to the other one; feeling like Roxas did. But Roxas's parents never seemed worried about that, always crooning to each other when they thought he wasn't home and going out on romantic 'dates'. They'd told him that when you were in love, you just kinda knew it.

Roxas didn't know. He felt like he was always a step behind Riku--

"Surprise visit!" His door flew open with a click and Riku himself swept in, all smiles and fresh air. His features fell a little upon seeing Roxas buried miserably in the covers. The blond felt his face start to twist and he flopped onto his side, facing the wall, not letting Riku see. "Roxas…what's wrong?"

"It's nothing… I'm just having a weird day, I guess…" The littler of the two shamefully buried his face in his pillow, waiting for the silver-haired boy to leave. _How dumb: being all emo just as he comes along. _

"Weird day, huh?" The other whispered, setting his stuff down at the foot of Roxas's bed. He lifted himself onto the bed and sat next to the blond's curled-up form with a sigh. "Funny. I was having one of those, too."

Roxas felt his boyfriend's warm hand run through his hair, ruffling the curls a little. He kept his face well-hidden, tense, waiting for the questions to come.

"I've been having all these philosophical thoughts lately…" Riku admitted, relaxing against the wall, his legs crossed. A beat passed. Roxas chanced a shy look up and saw Riku spacing out. "Dumb… obvious shit that I guess I just can't get."

The blond breathed a little, turning his head to the side so he could see his boyfriend better. He spoke before he could think about it.

"Do you know what love is?" Riku froze; so did Roxas's heart. _Shitshit I'm a dumbass I can't believe I just asked him that, fuck. Don't get the wrong idea--_ Then he relaxed again, looked bemusedly at the blond.

"I was wondering the same thing."

Silence descended for a moment, and Roxas groggily sat up to sit next to Riku. He leaned into the older kid, letting his head loll on the other's shoulder. They just sat there for awhile, breathing in each other, content to just be together.

"Do you think this…" Roxas began hesitantly.

"…it might be." Riku murmured, pressing his face into Roxas's curls.

More silence.

"I don't think we need to worry about it…as long as you're with me…" Roxas died a little when Riku said that. _So I'm not the only one who's scared… _The blond snuggled into Riku's collarbone, letting loose a weak happy noise.

"I'm glad you came."

"Me too."


	3. Light

Darkness. _Crap. This isn't good. Okay… uh… breathe…breathe…._

Hands fumbled blindly as he dug for his cellphone. Why oh WHY had he left his phone on the counter? Why oh WHY in the middle of a windstorm, when blackouts were so likely to happen? _Uhhh… iPhone… where aaare you? BREATHE. BREATHE._

He stumbled into a hard edge and bit back a cry, grasping at his knee. He hated the dark. You'd think the fucking phobia would go away with time? HA! He'd be so lucky!

Of all the times for Roxas to be gone. No. He should've come with, like the blond had invited. But he'd had a drilling headache to the point of seeing spots when he'd gotten out of his lecture class, and attending an Ars Arcanum concert wouldn't help. Fucking… fuck. He didn't even know who to blame. He could only curse his situation, growling as he limped to the kitchen, probably knocking over the recycling, cans scattering unseen.

_iPhone…_ his hand closed around the familiar smooth metal. He sighed a little shakily, tapping on the screen impatiently as the phone awoke. Outside, the rain lashed at the windows like a thrum of drums, the wind tossing the trees about with a violent whoosh.

As the light finally flashed on, his heart sank. _G… great…_ a panicked sigh left him as the battery meter blinked an ominous red. How to spend his last few minutes with light?

"Uh… hi Roxas this is Riku! Uhm… come home as soon as the concert's over okay? Okay. I love-" His phone turned black. "…you."

Riku let out a low whine, then pocketed the dead iPhone. He stood in the kitchen for awhile, unsure of what to do next. There was always a little light outside, actually…

He found himself curled up uncomfortably in Roxas's fleecy-blanket, on the couch, facing the rain-glossed window. There wasn't any moonlight, as it was obscured by clouds and swaying pine tree branches, but that was almost okay. Almost. Okay, so what if he had his arms around his knees, burying his head into his arms? He could have one manic phobia, right? Everything was DARK around him. He could barely see his own fucking FEET. Well, that was a lie, he could see his feet fine-- he gave his toes a half-hearted wiggle-- it was the other side of the room he had a harder time with. The panic had settled in by now. Riku was struggling to control his breathing, his grip around his knees tightening reflexively now and then. How did he usually get through these kind of times? Well, sometimes he light candles… but mostly he managed to fall asleep after being scared shitless for about half an hour. Did he even have candles? He doubted they even had any matches. Shame, that. Candles could be nice sometimes. Maybe next month he'd get some cinnamon-scented ones-- just in time for Christmas. Roxas would probably like that. Romantic lighting was one thing the blond secretly liked. Maybe a bath…?

Riku jumped out of his fantasy as the rain started lashing harder on the panes.

Dark. It was dark it was dark it was dark. He couldn't see. And he even had his reading glasses on! Riku giggled a bit manically, eager to distract himself somehow. What time was it, anyways? He'd been napping since five, and his naps didn't tend to last this long… He broke his position long enough to angle his arm so he could catch the light on his watch. Light was lovely. Riku loved how metal objects caught it so well-- nine. It was only nine?! Surely his watch was wrong: he couldn't be made to wait three more-- maybe even more than that-- in the dark?! Riku frowned, huffing, and checked it more closely. Nine-thirty. Only two and a half hours, then…

He pressed his forehead onto his knees with a wobbly moan. This was gonna be a loooong, loooong night… _Roxas, come home… I'm scared. _

As the hour wore on, Riku quieted. His previous nap didn't allow his body more rest, and his mind was buzzing quietly beneath his conscience. He felt numb, he guessed. Funny what being scared will do to someone. Why was he scared of the dark, anyway? It'd been a deep-rooted fear since his childhood. Sora's hair was spiky, Riku was afraid of the dark: simple, undeniable facts. Did most fears need to be rational? He supposed fear of the dark was akin to fear of the unknown, which was plenty to fear at times. What was it called again… ncytophobia? Achluophobia? He remembered fragments of his psychology class where they'd discussed phobias. Fear of the dark… haha…

Sora had always been there for him when it'd stormed on the island. He'd had someone to talk to, to grip a hand with, when things got pitch black. They'd lit little tea lights and played in Sora's room, making pillow forts and draping sheets everywhere. Those had been good days… until, well… Riku shifted a little, wrapping Roxas's blanket closer to himself. Don't need to delve too deep into memory lane there…

He silently inhaled into the blanket, closing his eyes a little. Strands of memory drifted across his consciousness. Roxas. Roxas's shy smile, his strange morning breath, his warm closeness when they hugged, his hair's feathery-softness, his gentle musk, his ragged voice after a great party, his blue blue eyes as he looked up through his blond eyelashes… For the first time since he'd ever been alone in the dark, Riku felt good. The silver-haired college kid just had to lie there and imagine Roxas was nearby…

Yeah that lasted for about fifteen minutes. Riku had had enough of being scared, though, and just wished he'd fall asleep already. He sighed, leaning into the couch arm as the storm continued howling outside. Suddenly, _Am I dreaming? Are those footsteps?!_

Someone fumbled with the lock for a minute, keys clanging with nervousness. Riku's eyes opened-- when had they closed? And suddenly he didn't need to dream anymore.

"Riku! Riku, omigod, Riku!" He was cold and drenched, his hair sopping wet and flat against his head. Riku was happily crushed into a wet embrace.

"Roxas…" He whispered reverently. The room was still dark as pitch, but his light had come in.


	4. Dark

"The darker half of Riku? I think I'm insulted." Riku lounged back into his chair, staring amusedly at Roxas. "My name is Riku, yes, but I don't think we've ever met before."

Roxas stared back, confusion and hurt etched across his face. "Wh-what are you talking about? Stop dicking around!" Since when had Riku had his ears pierced? A red and gold industrial poked through the top halves of his ears, black hoops piercing the bottoms. They must have been magnetic or something: that or this was a different Riku…

But that wasn't possible. This was totally Riku: long silver hair, amused turquoise eyes, a quirk in his trademark smirk. But then why was he acting like he didn't even know Roxas?! Hadn't Riku said that he was at his band's party, anyway? Why was he at the Ars Arcanum after party? Why was Riku lying to him?!

Turquoise eyes darkened. "I don't know you, kid. I think you've mistaken me for someone else." Riku stood from the chair, picking up his plastic cup. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a game to get on with…"

A black leather clad brunette joined him at his side, smirking as she nodded towards the ping pong table.

"I'm your fucking _boyfriend, _you asshole!" Roxas yelped furiously, standing up. The brunette raised an eyebrow at him, then at Riku, whose face darkened. The silver-haired boy picked him up roughly by his collar, sneering into his face. Roxas squeaked in surprise.

"Don't you dare start calling me a faggot, you little bitch." He'd never seen Riku so angry at him. Why was he being like this? "Get out of my sight." Riku seethed, shoving the blond away roughly. Roxas stumbled back into his chair and fell over, his heart breaking a little. The silver- haired boy and his friend exited silently. A little crowd had formed around the two: Axel suddenly rushed forward and helped the blond sit up, catlike eyes just as confused as Roxas felt. Demyx peeked out from behind his shoulder.

Roxas struggled not to cry. "Are you okay, Rox?" Demyx asked after a bit, kneeling next to Axel. Mercifully, most the crowd dispersed. The blond sniffled, shaking his head.

"Why the fuck is he acting like that? He's always been fine with acknowledging that we're a couple…"

"Maybe he has MPD?" Demyx wondered, setting the chair back up with a clatter. Axel was silent, acid-green eyes calculating. He knew Riku didn't have that problem; this was strange of the silver-haired boy. And he'd known his companion, Paine, a lesbian who'd just moved to the school. He and Paine had been kinda-sorta friends for the past couple years, and he knew next to nothing about her, which worried him now. He thought he'd known all of Riku's friends: clearly this wasn't the case. Axel liked Roxas: he was a great kid-- he didn't deserve what Riku'd just done to him.

"I'll find out what's going on." The redhead said after a beat, eyebrows furrowing. Demyx grinned.

"Uh oh! Axel's on the loose! Everyone hide!" He took the half-hearted punch Axel aimed at him, laughing. Roxas looked up at the two, smiling shakily.

Axel had lots of… connections. If Roxas had to describe him stereotypically, he'd have to say the lean redhead was the Lord of the school's underworld. He could hack into administrative files, he could make friends with pretty much anyone, he was the president of the very popular Alpha Delta frat, and he was involved in quite a lot of school activities. Yeah, if anyone could find out what the hell was wrong with Riku, it was Axel. And when the redhead was purposefully looking for something… well… just make sure your FaceSpace pages were blank for the time being. He was intrigued by this darker half of Riku: the one that played beer pong, wore piercings, and hung out with punkers.

It was something to do.


	5. Seeking Solace

"Oh, h-hey Paine. Uhm, you wanna hang out… right now? I need help on my physics homework--"

"Sure, Riku." Paine started slowly packing up her backpack, stuffing in a couple weathered notebooks full of doodles. Riku sounded like he was about to cry… as usual.

"Really? Great… uhm… my house?"

Paine rolled her eyes. He was definitely about to cry. "Be there in fifteen." Well, that's what friends were for, right? She removed her boots from the library table and quietly exited her English class. Riku was lucky enough to get out of school by lunch, but she actually had classes…

She paused at her house to change clothes: who could stand school uniforms, anyway? Riku didn't like them at _all_, and that wouldn't help his current situation. Paine caught the bus on the way to Riku's house and ended up earlier than expected. She always felt a little looked-down-upon whenever she was in front of the house: Riku's parents were _rich_. Thank god for that, actually, or the sixteen-year-old would probably have gone insane by now. That all-boys school had probably saved his sanity, and it'd cost a pretty penny… speaking of which.

Paine rung the doorbell twice, then opened the door. Riku's mom was always at home around this time. She called out in greeting from the kitchen: the girl answered back and dumped her shoes in the entrance.

She stopped before Riku's door, looking through the crack in the door. He was on his bed, silvery hair tied back into a ponytail, reading a book in his lap. His room looked clean, at least, so his mind was in order. _Messy room, messy mind___was one of his sayings. If his room was a mess, one could be sure his mind was a war zone, too.

Riku looked up as the door opened and Paine saw that his eyes were pink-rimmed. He smiled gratefully, patting a spot on his bed. "I'm glad you're here…" He sighed, looking back to his physics book. Paine nodded, sitting cross-legged next to him.

"I'd be a bitch if I wasn't." She said simply, taking out her notebooks. Riku was quiet for a beat-- Paine could tell he wasn't looking at the words on the page.

"No offense… but I hate girls…" He said quietly, strands of white hair falling across his eyes. "Kairi finally made her move. She called me out during class and we went to the girl's bathroom. When I turned her down she started bitching at me and crying in front of everyone. She even tried to hug me in that little pink outfit of hers…" Riku shuddered, looking miserably down at his textbook. "I almost had an attack…"

Paine said nothing, just laid her hand on his and gave it a squeeze.

Riku was gynophobic. Two years ago, there'd been an incident. That's all he and his parents called it: Riku wouldn't tell her what had happened, but all she needed to know was that he was crazy afraid of women. The silver-haired boy was hard-pressed to be around too many girls at a time, and he shuddered whenever he even had to touch one... Which absolutely sucked for him because he was _gorgeous. _Paine was lesbian, and even _she_ could see that. The poor kid was always getting asked out and he couldn't help but turn them down a little panicked.

He'd gone to an all-boys school after The Incident for about a year. He'd recuperated enough to be able to go to mixed schools again after that. RG High was where he'd met Paine. He hadn't known she was a girl for about a month until he'd seen her go to the girl's bathroom, and by then they were close friends. Paine was his only female friend: the rest of his friends were guys from his art classes and the wrestling team.

Riku'd determined he was gay, seeing as he'd never be able to kiss a girl no matter how much time passed, but didn't find anyone at RG High to his taste. It just wasn't going to happen.

A social creature by heart, whenever he felt stressed out, he went straight to Paine. He didn't feel weird or scared when he was with her, and often literally cried on her shoulder. She didn't mind. When Riku wasn't being an emo-case, he was fun to be around. The kid was bright and witty, and his charisma earned him as many friends as his other qualities would let him. She was confident he could even get over his fear of girls soon…

"…Swear to GOD they're annoying…"

…well, eventually.


	6. Break Away

They were doing it again. Demyx sighed a little, pretending to look crestfallen and hurt. Did they really have to do that before each practice? He huffed and reached up to grab his cap from where it was… on the head of the school mascot's statue. Gross! Couldn't they find some other place to put it? Now he'd have to disinfect it again, just in case.

See, nobody liked the mascot statue. It looked a LOT like that Goofy guy from Disney, and its hat looked absolutely… uh… _special._ The weathered bronze was always getting gum and spit stuck on it: some people were even said to walk their dogs by it. The biggest way to humiliate someone was to stick one of their personal belongings on its hat, so they'd have to reach and even half-climb on it if you were short. Luckily Demyx just needed to reach over his head to get it, but since he was doing this every Tuesday and Thursday… and his hat had his player number on it…

"They did it _again_?!" Tidus growled back in the locker room. Demyx shrugged, scrubbing at the rubber as he held it under hot water.

"I'm used to it by now."

"Why should you _ever_ get used to it?" The other sighed, irritated. He hung his towel up and put his own cap on, stuffing dirty blond locks inside. "I'm going to do something about this… and don't be late!" He splashed off into the pre-showers with the rest of the swim team.

"Kay!" The big blond called, turning the water off. He turned the sky-blue cap over, looked morosely at the red number nine. Well, no use being all emo and shit: it never helped. So Demyx smiled easily, a bit of excitement bubbling up in his stomach. He stumbled through the showers, yanking his cap over his ears.

Demyx lined up between his two friends, Tidus and Wakka. The other team members pointedly avoided his gaze as their coach told them to start warming up. The big blond grinned almost idiotically, then flexed his arms around a bit. It was almost time…

"Twenty laps! Go!"

And suddenly the rest of the world didn't matter anymore. A flurry of bubbles greeted him, submerging his tanned body in cool, refreshing, blissful _water. _This was why Demyx could never quit swimming. He left life behind for this wonderful world of water, and he wouldn't ever have it any other way. Here, he was the top. No one could touch him underwater. He could carve the water the way he wanted, and it gave away seemingly gladly to his touch. This world of blue was wonderful: silent and beautiful. Demyx broke the surface long enough to draw breath, then plunged down again, looking amusedly at the shadows the bubbles cast on the floor of the pool. This was his realm. He could break away from the frivolities of life-- no-- life itself. He was quite sure that if he didn't have this sanctuary, he wouldn't be sane by now.

He knew why the rest of the swim team hated him: he didn't even have to try. Demyx was a natural in the water, akin to a fish. His huge lungs could hold air for as long as he wanted them to, his powerful arms slicing cleanly through the water with a minute splash. It was as if he'd been made to be in water, and swimming competitions were little more than games to see if he could break his own records. The others worked out hardcore, lifting weights and all; Demyx practically lived in the pool and would just play there all day. Sometimes he was by himself. Those days were always kinda lonely, even in the water world. Those days… well.

He finished the last lap, blood coursing spectacularly through his veins, his heart pumping. He had about a minute or two to goof off now; the rest of the team had a couple more laps to go. Demyx dove underwater, sitting on the rough bottom of the pool. He watched the other swimmers with bare interest, watching the flurries of bubbles behind them as they furiously sawed away at the water. He looked skyward through his blue-tinted goggles: the multicolored flags above the water wavered with ripples, the blue sky distorted with waves of white and popping bubbles. Leaning back, Demyx couldn't help but sigh happily, a few bubbles drifting from his nose. If only the rest of life was as calm as this.

After a beat, he sprang from the bottom and inhaled joyfully as he surfaced, his heart sinking a bit nevertheless. The dream was over for now. He glanced to the right and saw one of his team mates flick him the bird. Demyx grinned back cheerfully, not letting it get to him. He looked to his left at the bleachers, usually empty during practice, but saw someone there in front, looking straight at him.

_Kinda cute…_ Demyx found himself staring back, curious.

And then that someone got pegged in the head with a waterpolo ball. Demyx sprang from the water with a cry.


	7. Heaven

"I think we're gonna need more clouds than that..." Riku observed, regarding the paper cut-outs dryly. The two girls simpered a little, then went back to work, muttering. He sighed, running a distressed hand through his hair. _Why isn't managing _ever_ easy?_ Looking back at his clipboard, he rushed back upstairs to see how the cardboard pearly gates were coming along. They were being painted with the lacquer now, to give them a shiny appearance: good, at least that was being taken care of. Riku rummaged his iPhone out of his pocket to call up the food catering company.

"This stupid "Heaven" theme had better work out..." He growled halfheartedly, waiting impatiently on the dial-tone. The angel-food cakes were almost ready, but the rest of the desserts had had "issues", as he'd heard it. _We'll see about these "issues" when I'm through with this company..._

He caught a flash of dirty-blond hair above the cubicles of the clubs. His crappy mood dissipated a little, and as the hapless employee on the other end took his call—rant-- he realized that everything was actually going pretty smoothly. For a school event.

Riku Kagemaru: president of the Kingdom Academy's ASB. Third-year. Majoring in business. He'd been on academic honor roll since elementary school, and had been a Valedictorian since middle school. He was honored as Student of the Year in high school about three times, only disqualified the first two times because one technically had to be a senior to receive the award. In other words, Riku was insanely smart. Not only that, but he was also extremely charismatic. He was always the first guy on a girl's birthday invite list, the first to get nominated for class president, and was always in the running for prom court. Girls flocked to him; guys hung out with him. The kid had it made, really.

Except... for the whole love thing.

Riku was bi. This had been obvious since late middle school, when he'd started combing his hair immaculately each day and got upset whenever someone mussed him up, hair or otherwise. In high school, the guys were just never good enough. When he liked them for their looks, they were wanna-be queens, and when he liked them for their personalities, they always dressed like they were trying to go emo. It wasn't about what was on the outside, but there were limits to that idea. Getting dates for dances always ended up with Riku choosing to go single: god knows what would happen if he went out with someone.

In any case, while he always went to parties and school events, the silver-haired boy was lonely. It was a simple, dumb fact that he just couldn't shake. Riku sighed a little, hanging up, and leaned back into the plaster wall of the school's club room, eyes closing. _All I want is someone to be with..._

"Um..." Riku's eyes snapped open at the semi-familiar voice. "Are you busy?" He pushed himself from the wall with a frustrated sigh, glancing down to his left...

_Blue..._ Was the only thing Riku's mind could formulate at the moment. Vivid blue eyes, a little wide, a little nervous, stared back at him. There was a mass of curly blond hair framing the eyes, a soft chin and an almost childish-looking face. He came up exactly to Riku's eyes. _Cute.... blond... blue... cute..._ Silence ensued for a bit, then he realized he was supposed to reply.

"Uh, no. Why?" _Are you going to ask me out, you amazingly cute thing? _Riku drank in the brown hoodie, the dark jeans, the wide skateboard shoes. _Oh shit wait. _"You're in my French 300 class."

"Yeah! I'm Roxas." The smaller one smiled a little hesitantly, then hefted up a wad of paper. "This is from the Foreign Exchange committee. They told me you needed to get some stuff approved for something..."

_Ah. Of course. Business matters. _"Oh, yeah, thanks." Riku gave a halfhearted smile, taking the packet from Roxas's mittened hands. _Like anyone wants to ask out the ASB president..._ The blond observed his shoes for a bit, plucking at the bottom of his hoodie.

"I'm the office's new messenger boy: I think I'm probably gonna see you around a lot. Can I have your number?" Roxas stared determinedly at his shoes.

Riku was still trying to process that last part. His mouth worked a little spasmodically.

"Ugh... uh..._wait what_?" He stuttered, knowing he was turning a little red.

Roxas looked up, ears pink, but blueblueblue eyes determined."You know! So if you're somewhere weird I can call you and get my deliveries done faster?"

From the look on his face, Riku could tell that clearly wasn't what was on the blond's mind. _Say yes, SAY YES. You idiot he's fucking asking you for your number!_

"Sure... here." The silver-haired kid fumbled for his iPhone. There was a very awkward exchange of phone numbers, the blond mumbling a little and Riku fumbling with the keys on his iPhone.

"So... thanks. I'll see you around?" Roxas pocketed his phone, smiling shyly, and took up another pile of paper with various colored post-it notes, then his skateboard. Riku smiled a genuine smile.

"Yeah. Sounds good."

As the small blond went out, Riku stared after. _I... just flirted with a cute blond guy_._ If you call that flirting..._

The ASB officers looked up a little bemusedly as their president suddenly burst out laughing.


	8. Innocence

Sora woke up with a start, looking around panicked. The brunet's breath was a little fast, but he didn't know why. _A nightmare?_ _Why am I freaking out...?_

He sighed, sinking down on the headboard and burrowing back into the sheets. For a moment his mind was blissfully blank, and then it all kicked in. The sophomore let out a groan, eyes snapping shut. Two nights ago... yeah. Yesterday had been hell. He didn't wanna think about it.

But of course, whenever one tells himself not to think of something, one's mind invariably always comes back to that exact thing. Blue eyes opened blearily. At least it was Sunday: he had his excuse to stay in bed 'till unholy hours, but his mind was buzzing with things he'd prefer not to think of.

He got up, blue sheets slipping from his lean body, and delicately touched the floor, sighing with relief when nothing happened. At least he felt better than yesterday: he'd been sick last night, nausea preventing him from moving around much. Roxas had helped him back to his dorm, thankfully.

The brunet sat on the edge of his bed for awhile, unwilling to move anyways. He felt... weird. He didn't want to do anything. He just wanted to crawl back in bed and sleep until he forgot about that incident two nights ago. Ignorance was bliss, after all.

His phone buzzed loudly on his desk, jittering to the side. Sora looked at it for a bit while it buzzed away, sighed, and stood to go answer. He got a head rush and reeled a little, then sorted himself out.

"Hi Roxas..." He greeted quietly, sitting back down on his bed with a thump.

"You feeling better?" His cousin sounded worried.

"Yeah... just don't feel like moving."

"...'kay...well..."

Sora waited.

"You feel good enough to go for breakfast? The Local Yolk is still open."

He sighed, looking listlessly out the window. It was nice day out: a couple clouds dotting his namesake.

"Yeah. I'm up for that."  
Roxas was at his door ten minutes later, carrying a little tin of mints: Sora's favorite. Dressed in beach shorts and a white tee shirt emblazoned with his favorite band, Sora smiled fondly at the gift. The two started towards the waterfront, where there were a variety of shops and tourist-trap restaurants.

"Still feeling kinda shitty, huh?" Roxas said after a minute of silence, kicking at a small pebble in the sidewalk.

"I guess..." Sora drifted off, staring morosely into the distance. After a beat, he said quietly, "I don't feel any different, really."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah... I thought that when you lost your virginity you'd feel sad or awesome or... _something_. I don't know... I kinda feel like nothing now." The brunet struggled to explain, not meeting Roxas's eye.

The blond was silent for a minute, staring up at the seagulls wheeling through the sky. "It doesn't really feel any different. It's like having a birthday. You never really feel the difference, ya know? But..."

Sora glanced up at him through messily-combed spikes. His cousin looked... happy. "When you know you've given your lover the best gift anyone can... that's kind of a nice feeling..."

Sora's heart fell. _That's cuz you had the chance to do it right...I never got that chance..._ "So I just gave up the best gift I had to some guy I didn't know?" He asked a little coldly.

Roxas winced, eyes lowering with shame. "I'm sorry..."

"It's not your fucking fault; we've established this."

"I know...but...I wish you'd tell me who it was."

Sora was quiet, knowing exactly what would happen if he told the blond. "That's my business."

Roxas pouted briefly, then shook his head. There had to be a legitimate reason if Sora wasn't telling him. They took a table at The Local Yolk, waitresses handing them a pair of menus.

"You'd better be hungry." Roxas warned, casting him a wry smile.

Sora had started salivating the moment he'd looked at the laminated pictures. "Oh yeah."

They ordered quickly and started their usual, random, cousinly banter.


	9. Drive

"Study abroad? You guys are joking, right?" Cloud looked eagerly from face to face, not finding the expression he was looking for. "You're serious..." He leaned back into his motorcycle with a sigh, the metal beast holding his weight with a light creak. "I have a job here, a steady life, friends, and you're about to ask me to leave for more schooling?"

Said friends looked somewhat guiltily at each other. They'd known he'd bitch about it, but they'd already decided. Tifa stepped forward a little awkwardly.

"You know as well as we do that there's no future for you here, especially with Shinra running this place. You're the smartest one out of all of us, and you speak fluent English..."

"That's no reason to just send me abroad! I don't need any more--"

"We need someone with a strong education to help us, Cloud. Besides--"

"I have no money to afford that kind of--"

"-- we already pooled our money for you." Aerith blurted, looking a him a little crossly. The blond was dead silent for a scary minute. He looked at his group of friends: gruff Barret, gentle Aerith, motherly Tifa, childish Yuffie, quiet Nanaki, perpetually-grinning Cait Sith, stern Vincent, and old Cid.

"You guys..." He bit his lip, not meeting their eyes.

It's true that he'd wanted to study abroad, go to a great engineering school once he was done with his general education, but two years later, he felt it was pointless. He had a steady job as a mechanic, he had a _life_ here... how could they ask him to leave now?

_They don't want me here or something? No, they wouldn't waste all that money..._ Cloud looked up, hurt flickering across his eyes. _They seriously all pulled in for me? They want me to go..._

He saw that most of the girls were struggling to not cry. Nanaki was having a difficult time keeping his tail still. Vincent and Cid were avoiding his gaze, and even Cait Sith looked a little unhappy.

"Cloud...?" Tifa questioned, noticing his look.

The blond looked at her determinedly. "I'll go."

Later that night, he finished up work on his bike, Fenrir. The motorcycle thrummed to life and Cloud decided to take it out for a test-drive. He could think of no better way to think by himself.

The city lights of Midgar sped by in a neon blur as he rocketed expertly through the winding alleys and roads. He snaked through the 7th district, joyfully taking in all the scents of cooking food: everything from soups to sushi. The populace generally greeted him with fond smiles and short salutes, which he returned, nodding with a hint of a smile. It was the middle of summer, and had the sky been visible, it would have been dotted with stars. As was, under Midgar's giant platforms, one could only imagine. There were a couple bonfires blazing away towards the slummier part of town, cheers and drunken shouts echoing along the steely walls blasted with graffiti. Cloud was careful to drive a little more slowly around these parts: you never knew when a piece of scrap metal would fall from above and shatter some part of the road. The blond smiled to himself: he loved this town. He'd whine and complain with the best of them about Midgar's slums, but in his heart, this was home.

Sure, he'd grown up on another continent and had been through military service thereabouts, but Midgar... it was home. Besides: Aerith was letting him stay at her house.

Cloud stopped somewhere around the red light district. This area was loud and boisterous, especially in the middle of summer, and Cloud could think of no better place to blend right in. He parked Fenrir behind the Honeycomb, arranging bits of scrap metal just-so to make it look like a pile of junk. He stepped out into the throng, sighing contentedly: no one knew him here, save for the shopkeepers. The blond might as well have been by himself, and this was an extremely good thing. Wandering around, Cloud noticed that there'd been a little price inflation these days: either Shinra was raising rates or the shopkeepers wanted to get more money during the summer season. He quietly bought a burger and found himself wandering up to Aerith's place, where some people were gazing at the night-blooms in awe. Then Cloud wandered aimlessly until he found that he had climbed to the top of the church, being careful not to disturb any more of the creaky shingles. He could kind of see the sky from here, actually. There was a couple gaps through the platforms that let the moonlight through, the rays giving the church a glowy feel. It was here that the man finally sat down, munching on his burger.

_I have good friends_. He thought after a bit, leaning onto his back, the worn shingles creaking with his weight. _It's always been my dream to go to places like Kingdom Academy or something. Maybe even Hollow Bastion, though their engineering program kind of sucks. I just can't believe they did something like this... _He was happy. Cloud was glad he had made such friends, and it'd be downright depressing once he left. Once he left, he couldn't be there to help stop the Shinra raids or fight off monsters. It'd all be up to them.

He sighed. And who would take care of his chocobos? His favorite, Karat, would be devastated: the feeling would be mutual.

"Hey Cloud! I know you're up there!" Aerith's soft voice called. The blond started, almost losing his balance. He hurriedly finished his food, stuffing the wrapper in his pocket, then slid down one of the rafters.

"Scared the crap outta me." He mumbled, hesitantly meeting her gaze. Aerith looked lovely in the moonlight, her warm smile all the more reassuring and motherly. She knelt down amongst the flowers, caressing a couple moon-blooms.

"These flowers bloom only at night, you know? They evolved like that... they can only stand so much light."

Cloud sat next to her shyly, rubbing at his leather knee pads. _Why the biology lesson?_ Well, it_ was _Aerith he was talking to. The flower girl didn't make much sense sometimes.

"You're more like a sunflower, Cloud."

"...huh?" _I'm a flower now. Okay, Aerith._

"You live off sunlight: you need as much light as you can take, because only then will you bloom." Aerith leaned down and plucked a moon bloom up, studying its ghostly white petals. Cloud was silent, observing the delicate flower in her fingers. He knew what she was saying.

"Sunflowers have a lot of potential." She said finally, tossing her braid over her shoulder. "It'd be a shame to waste one in these slums."

The blond looked at her sideways. "Once it gets its fill of sun, this flower's coming back, you know." Aerith positively beamed.

"And then it'll spread its seeds across the winds to sprout more sunflowers." Cloud smiled back, looking fondly at the moon bloom in her hands. The little flower seemed to glow with light. Aerith placed a hand on his callused one. "All it needs is a little encouragement."

Unwilling to break the moment, Cloud said nothing. He knew the "little encouragement" was anything but. Blue eyes glowing softly, the blond just stared at the flower in her hands.

"Thanks, Aerith." He breathed, just loudly enough so she heard. The brunet smiled softly, then stood, Cloud with her.

"I'll drive us back home." Smiling a rare smile, Cloud led her back through the slums to find Fenrir.


	10. Breathe Again

Zexion's head reeled. He'd hit the cement pretty hard after something had conked him out of the blue, and his palms were hot and raw from his landing. Vaguely he could hear a startled voice yelping some distance away, but the small third-year was a little out of sorts. What had hit him? A ball...?

He attempted to stand up, then got tripped up by his bookbag strap and fell again. _Shit, I must be making a fool out of myself._ Zexion grimaced, trying to see properly. His eyes weren't cooperating.

Suddenly a warm, wet presence enveloped him and helped him sit upright. "You okay?!"

"I'm fine..." Zexion seethed, but his vision wasn't clearing any. He was worried now.

"Can you open your eyes?"

_Oh... _Zexion's storm-blue eyes flew open. _Oh shit! _

It was Demyx helping him. _Demyx_, as in, the top swimmer on campus who'd won several championships nationwide. _Demyx_, as in the drama kid he'd been kinda-sorta-maybe-totally stalking for the last week. Helping _him_. Zexion couldn't scramble fast enough, scrabbling for his encyclopedia and making sure his shirt wasn't scraped up. "Whoa, whoa, buddy! What's the rush?"

"Sorry. I shouldn't have come in here." _Holy Shiva he's so close!_

The big blond snorted. "_We're _the ones who pegged you in the head with a stray ball and _you're _the one apologizing?" He scooped up the golden waterpolo ball and gave it a spin, not unlike one would a basketball. "Wow, it's newly inflated, too...must've hurt."

"It's fine now." _I'm _definitely_ fine now. _"Um, I guess I'll go."

The slate-haired man felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You sure you're okay?" Zexion's heart did a backflip. Demyx was leaning over him, muscular like a beast and dripping with water, a couple strands of blond hair plastered to his shoulders. The smaller one almost died at the caring expression in those warm blue eyes.

"I'm g-g-great..." He whispered, mind going numb.

Demyx killed the moment beautifully by grinning like a retard and standing up quickly, dragging Zexion with him. The little scholar couldn't have turned any pinker as he brushed by the swimmer's tanned chest. "Cool, then! See you around! Just make sure to dodge the waterpolo balls."

Diving back in the water as if he'd been born in it, Demyx went back to practice, his team mates not sparing the little scholar another glance. Zexion got out of there as fast as he could with his book in tow.

He found that he could breathe again, his heart re-starting as he wandered the halls.

Ten minutes later, the little scholar found himself in the undergraduate library, sitting in one of the plush chairs. His encyclopedia was open in his lap, but his mind couldn't have been further away. He... he liked Demyx. He would certainly not mind seeing the blond again... wasn't he in drama club? Fuck. He knew he had a crush on the big blond now: he was considering joining a _drama_ club just so he could be near him.

Somehow, Zexion knew he was past the point of no return.


	11. Memory

Sometimes Riku wished he was an amnesiac.

Back in middle school and high school, he'd wake up screaming some nights; 1 out of five, maybe. Those had been bad times. He didn't want to think about how many anti-psychotics he'd been on back then. Drugs that would send him into a deep, stupid sleep so he (hopefully) wouldn't have dreams. Of course the nightmares came through fine. Riku had plenty of those. Needless to say, he stopped taking the drugs after about a year.

But right. Amnesiac. That'd be good. At least, in certain situations...

Something hit his forehead and bounced to his desk with a wooden clatter. He looked up blearily to find Zexion glaring at him, another pencil in hand. Honestly. The silver haired boy rolled his eyes and pretended to study more, playing with his tongue piercing. Zexion was such a prick sometimes. Why the hell he'd been stuck with this "tutor-tutor" was a mystery to him. He didn't need someone telling him how to tutor people! This whole process was bullshit.

To tell the truth, he already knew physics and all its wonderful intricacies. Riku could have solved most calculus, chemistry, or physics problems presented to him: his major _was_ physical sciences, after all. And so he tutored all the poor freshman and second-years who needed help: it was a great way to earn money, after all. Problem was, he had to do it at his rival school, Kingdom Academy. St. Ansem's only hired professional tutors. He chuckled at the thought. Professional tutor... ha. Try telling someone _that_ at a party.

He intercepted Zexion's next projectile smoothly and used it to erase a little scribble he'd accidentally made. Then he presented it grandly back to the small man. To his surprise, Zexion stifled a snort of laughter, taking his pencil back quickly. So the little guy _did_ have a soul! Riku was honestly surprised, aquamarine eyes brightening. He mused for a moment, rattling his piercing across his teeth.

"Hey Zex." He whispered after a bit. "I think I'm done for today."

"I don't think you are." The little slate-haired man whispered back, features going neutral again. Riku frowned, then stuck out his tongue in a childish display. Zexion made a face at the little black ball dotting his tongue.

"Disgusting."

"Shorty." Riku retorted, good mood flattened. It felt good to see the other get immediately enraged, in a twisted way. Zexion made to leave, stuffing his books inside his bag. Riku relented, grabbing at his arm. "Sorry. That was uncalled for."

The smaller one seemed to not believe him at first, sneering, but took his books back out nonetheless.

"Why do you do this to me?" He muttered to some deity out there. Riku did his best to appear as guilty as he felt. He knew the little scholar took a lot of shit for his height-- or lack thereof. He'd been there, on the receiving end of the fun-poking and malicious teasing. Hell, he'd been glad to finally move to college. No one here knew of his back story; as far as he knew. They had to reason to tease, other than the fact that he looked like a fag with his dark blue industrial piercing. Jeez. At least he didn't wear makeup.

They settled down to read again, and Riku found his thoughts drifting once again. He took a glance at his watch, sighed, and decided that la-la land would be a nice place to be about now. No such luck, as fate would have it. Zexion decided to give him a short quiz.

Five minutes and ten questions later, Riku was daydreaming once again while Zexion scanned his work (in vain) for faults. What had he been thinking about that had been such an intriguing thought? Oh yeah. Memory. Such a curse. He wondered if, one day, there'd be a way to laser-remove memories he didn't want, and all the phobias with it. Everything else was untouched: just those few memories... When pigs fly, perhaps. You just never knew with science. And besides... Riku's eyes widened fractionally. If he didn't have those memories, he wouldn't be the person he was today. He wouldn't have met the few close friends he held dear to him, especially Paine. Maybe he wouldn't be sitting here, in the Kingdom Academy Yen Sid library, (some people just called it "keys", despite the lack of e) learning how to tutor all the rich kids here with Zexion, his grumpy/funny/amusing... friend? Were they friends?

Riku chanced a look over at Zexion, who was waving a pencil at him threateningly. He grinned and stuck out his tongue, then caught the object with a bark of laughter. Yeah. They were getting there.

One memory at a time.


	12. Insanity

Insanity. Axel wondered a lot about it. When did someone go past the point of no return? When could you tell you were going down that slippery slope in the first place? Who was in charge of classifying how insane you were? Could one go temporarily insane or once you were insane there was no going back? _So many questions, so few answers. _The redhead took a nice stretch, yawning hugely. He glared at his laptop screen blearily. He'd been online for the past six hours. Roxas had dropped in after dinner, had handed him a box of pasta, then gone to see Riku. The blond had seen the dark circles under Axel's normally keen eyes, called him insane, then left.

Axel had thought he'd known crazy. All the cartoons you saw when you were a kid, with maniacally giggling mad scientists and stark-raving crazy English professors. The dramas on TV with crazed women holding knives to their friends or masked ax murderers in horror films. Hell, his family was full of people with questionable mental stability, and he still couldn't really put a finger on what "insanity" meant.

_Who knows? Maybe I'm heading down the crazy way if I keep trying to look into this. _The redhead rubbed at his eyes briefly, closing them as they stung a little from staring too long at the computer. _In any case, it's time to call it a night. _He closed his laptop with a clack, then stood to get the food Roxas had dropped off. To his dismay, the pasta was cold and dry. Axel made a face, then shrugged. (He _was_ a college kid.) He dug in.

Roxas came in as he was chucking the box in the recycling, the door slamming behind him. He sniffled a little, shedding his sweater and practically throwing it on his chair, then climbed wordlessly onto his bunk.

Axel whistled lowly. He could hear the blond sniffling wetly, breath still quick from being outside. The redhead waited a couple minutes, pretending to look through his Econ homework. This had to be good: he'd never seen Roxas cry before.

Finally, Roxas sighed a little raggedly and popped his head out from his bunk bed, looking miserably at his roommate.

"I take it your date didn't go so well?" Axel asked lightly, green eyes glancing up into Roxas's wet blue ones. He felt a little bad when Roxas's face twisted. The blond sighed, re-submerging his head under the bunk.

"You can say _that_ again..."

"What, did he stand you up? Bring a chick along? Make you pay for everything? Embarrass you?" The redhead rattled off a few possibilities he knew weren't true.

Roxas's head reappeared from his bed, his expression that of one truly humiliated. "He didn't need to do any embarrassing. It was all me. Ngh." Back went his head. Axel carefully kept himself from laughing, but couldn't suppress a little chuckle. _Oops._

But to his surprise, Roxas started laughing too. Not the good kind of laugh, though. "It _was_ funny, I guess. I kept bumping into stuff when we were walking over from his house. I think I actually tripped over a fire hydrant at one point." He groaned. "And once we got to Lumiere's..." Axel could tell he'd buried his face in his pillow. The lanky redhead was definitely amused by the thought of Roxas face-planting over something. It sounded like he was reciting from a romantic comedy.

"Well, you didn't set anything on fire, did you?" _Now _that_ would've been funny._

"Just the opposite, actually." Roxas mumbled, muffled by his pillow. "I was shaking so much I accidentally spilled my ice water on the table. I'm such a fucking klutz." He trailed off with a whimper.

Axel kept quiet, knowing how much this date had meant to the blond. Roxas had had a crush on Riku ever since he'd laid eyes on the second-year in his French class. It took a brave soul to talk to Riku, the god of all things ASB and official school-related things. It took an even braver soul to ask him out, seeing as the silver-haired boy had refused each and every offer so far. Roxas had really gone for it.

_Only to see his hopes go up in flames..._

"Such an idiot... _such _an _idiot._.." His roommate was now methodically banging his head into the wall. Concerned for the neighbors and Roxas's IQ, Axel reached up to grasp his arm.

"What did Riku do?"

Roxas stopped the mistreatment of his skull, just leaning against the wall. He was silent for a moment, and Axel withdrew his hand.

"He was... laughing the whole time. I think he thought it was really funny..." The freshman sighed, voice going soft at the mention of his crush.

"Isn't that a good thing? You know, Roxas..." Axel sighed, grinning to himself. The blond turned to look at him expectantly, eyes still moist. "It takes a lot to get Riku to laugh. I've taken him to comedy shows: I would know. It also takes a lot to make the guy smile." He cocked his flaming head of spikes. "The guy had a rough life in high school, and he's always stressed out running the student activities all over campus. He's just this ball of stress most of the time, ya know?"

"You're telling _me_." Roxas found himself smiling wryly, rolling his eyes. "I'm his messenger boy. He makes me get him coffee more than anything else."

Axel grinned at the thought of an over-caffeinated Riku, almost tearing his girly hair out from its roots as he bent over mound of paperwork. "So..." He wanted to finish his lecture. "Your date might not have gone as badly as you thought it might've gone. Hey, what happened at the end, anyway? Did he walk you back here?"

Roxas avoided his eyes, playing absently with his locks. "...I ran from Lumiere's. I couldn't face him anymore..."

True to his Italian roots, Axel threw his hands to the air. "God dammit Roxas, you dug your own grave! What the fuck do you think _Riku's_ feeling right about now?! Haven't you realized by now that he's got about as much self-confidence as you?!" The redhead hissed, eyes razor thin. _Honestly. This guy--!_

The two roommates had an icy staring contest.

Then Roxas's phone started playing some J-pop tune (Axel was fairly sure it was called "Melt"). The blond turned strawberry red, blue eyes open wide. "It's _him_!" He squeaked, gesturing wildly at the sweater on his chair. "Quick, hand me it!"

Axel started grinning like the bastard he was. He deftly took Roxas's phone from its pocket, then raced out the door. "Oh hey there Riku! What's happening?"

Roxas made an indignant noise, scrambling from his bed. He found that Axel was leaning against the door, preventing him from getting out. "AXEL! AXEL YOU SUNUVABITCH OPEN THE DOOR!!!" He howled, more than a little desperate.

"How ya doin', Riku? Long time no talk."

"_Same old, same old, Ax. Is Roxas okay? He left without saying anything..._" Riku sounded hesitant.

"Aw, he's fine. Lively, even. Right Rox?" Answered by more cursing and thumping against the door.

A sigh from the other line. _"What are you doing to him? Give him the phone..._"

"Alright, alriiight..." Axel let the door open and neatly stepped out of the way as Roxas tumbled to the floor. He leaned over and presented the furious blond with his phone. The redhead got the punch he deserved, then waltzed back into their room as Roxas started talking shyly to his boyfriend-to-be.

Sometimes love drives people insane.


	13. Misfortune

_It's one of _those_ days, isn't it?_ Roxas sighed heavily, slumping back into the bus stop booth. He was getting rained on away, the wind driving it inside the covered stop, lashing mockingly at his face. And arms. And legs. Yeah. He wasn't dressed for rain. Who could blame him?

It'd been fine outside this morning, the wind blowing a bit, sure, but there were only scattered clouds. That, and laundry day was today. Meaning Roxas had run out of "fall" clothes and was running around in a t-shirt and board shorts, no socks. He hated laundry day. Then again, he kinda hated today in general.

His cellphone had run dry the night before and he'd woken up late without his alarm. Then he'd dropped his toothbrush on the communal bathroom floor— he spent a couple minutes dousing it in hot water to make sure it wasn't infected. Breakfast had been a sad affair and something had given him a little food poisoning, leaving him to writhe in bed for about an hour where he'd usually do his homework. Then he'd run out of time to do his homework and had to go to class: he was catching the late bus to his afternoon class after seeing the early bus was too crowded to fit any more people.

The wind decided to blow even harder and Roxas got even more wet, his forearms and legs chilled uncomfortably. The blond decided that today blew.

Finally, the bus arrived and the blond scrambled on, leaving water all over the floor. A couple girls cast him vaguely worried looks, and most of the guys on the bus were trying to not seem interested in the sopping wet, badly dressed freshman. Roxas shivered in his seat, holding his relatively-dry backpack for warmth.

It was a glowering Roxas who entered the second week of his 3rd level French class. The blond was a native speaker, with a Canadian dad, and didn't really need to try to do well in the class. An easy grade his freshman year sounded like a good idea. The warning bell went clattering off as he sharply shrugged his backpack to the floor with a wet thump. Roxas sat at his seat and buried his face in his goose-bumped arms. This lecture hall was freezing even at the best of times. He wanted to scream. _Man today blows!_

Everyone filtered in quietly, the class mostly comprised of girls-- because French is a _girly_ language didn'tcha know? The bell rang again and he looked up, irritated. Yay class. His friends in this class had decided to ditch today. Now he was regretting not having done the same. He saw a flash of silver down at the front of the lecture hall and suddenly class didn't seem so shitty right now.

Because suddenly, the most beautiful male he'd ever seen was looking up at him. Silvery-white hair flowing down to his shoulders, a handsomely pale complexion, cool aqua eyes that drew him in sharply to the intelligence that lay below... seriously! This guy was gorgeous!

_Sit next to me sit next to me sit next to me sit next to me please oh god grant me this one nice thing today and let him sit next to me! _God wasn't feeling gracious, apparently.

The beautiful kid sat two rows behind him. Roxas wanted to die as a couple girls started introducing themselves to him. _I... I fell in love with him first. _He thought childishly, smiling at himself. Today sucked. He shivered, feeling colder than before.

Roxas found himself sneaking glances at the new kid when he got distracted. He would pretend to stretch, bending backwards over his chair to sneak looks at him, or would twist to "look at the clock" and catch a flash of him on the way. He was wearing a sweater vest with a collared shirt, having shed a rain jacket onto his chair. Normally Roxas thought that people looked like dorks in such an outfit, but this guy... he pulled it off. So he was completely enamored curious about him! A few hormones were nothing to be ashamed of... though he found his female classmates were irritating him today when they talked to the new kid. _Why didn't you sit next to me?_ He pouted mentally. _A name. I just want a friggin' name._ _That would make this shitty day _so _much better!_

Roxas kept wishing. He got colder and colder as the air conditioning circulated through the space. Then the bell rang and class was over, kids filing down the auditorium steps. As he turned to see if the kid was still there, his new crush brushed him by. Panicking, Roxas touched at his shoulder, patting the rain jacket. The kid turned around distractedly, his aqua eyes piercing.

"I... didn't get your name?" Our hero squeaked, numb to the bone with cold. The kid turned around a second later, continuing his way down. Apparently it had been nothing more than a squeak after all: he hadn't even heard. Roxas felt his heart sink to his gut.

_Dear Diary. I. Want. To. Die. _

The blond treated himself to a LONG hot shower, a mug of hot cocoa, and an evening of being wrapped in a fleecy blanket. His heart was still numb with cold when he went to sleep.


	14. Smile

"Smile!"

"No."

"_Smile!_"

"_No_."

"Fucking _smile_!"

"Fucking _no._"

Yuffie cranked out a polaroid picture, grinning. She'd managed to take the picture while her subject was uttering the middle syllable: a grimace. Close enough, right? The blond in front of her had no reason to be glowering back, as far as she knew. Why would someone that handsome need to make that face? Stupid bishies didn't know what was good for them.

"Fine. Here's your passport picture. Go present it at the office and they'll probably have one ready for you in about three weeks."

Cloud took the polaroid, raising a delicate blond eyebrow at it. He left wordlessly, picture in hand. Yuffie sighed, leaning on the counter. What had been up _his_ ass?

_Three weeks, huh?_ Cloud frowned, sliding the picture gently into his pocket. _I'm pretty sure the fall quarter starts next month, so that should work out..._

It'd been two weeks since his friends had confronted him and had all but physically forced him to go to college abroad. He had begun to accept the idea now; he'd even become excited at the array of classes he had to choose from at his new school, St. Ansem's University in Radiant Garden. It had a superior engineering program, was in a decent area, and had nice tuition rates for foreigners. Too bad his mascot was going to be a magical duck, in essence. Couldn't win them all.

_Why do we always have to smile in pictures, anyway? What if you're like me and you just _don't _give out smiles like Halloween candy? Could be easier to recognize some people if they didn't smile in pictures..._ Cloud's mind was a little scattered. That wasn't like him.

Given, he was going to leave his entire life behind for at least three years of schooling in a country whose language he was only fairly fluent in. He had a right to be a little distracted. What bothered him most, though, was the idea that he had to leave Aerith behind.

Over the past year that he'd met the flower girl, Cloud realized that he was developing feelings for her. This shouldn't have been a bad thing; he'd been planning to tell her sometime soon... except that now...

The blond sat heavily on his bike, staring blankly out at the plains beyond Midgar. _Fuck school..._

Four weeks passed. Cloud hadn't been able to summon the guts to tell Aerith yet. How his heart did strange things around her, how only she could make him smile some days, or how her presence always calmed him. The man couldn't believe he was being such a chicken, but whenever the brunette was near him, his mind scrambled until he was tongue-tied. Now he only had two days before he left for Radiant Garden, practically on the other side of the world. He and his friends had double—triple-checked all his baggage, his ID, passport, his tuition statements, everything that could go wrong. Everything was settled.

_Except my heart_. Cloud thought a little melodramatically, letting loose a sigh. The blond had been spending more time around his friends than usual, to make sure he was making the best of his last few days here. Aerith was almost his constant companion, which he didn't mind.

It was night in Midgar again, the moonlight filtering through the church ceiling. He and Aerith were sitting in the pews, just being content to be around each other. The sweet brunette glanced at him at the sigh, smiling curiously. "Got a lot on your mind, huh?"

The blond shifted a little, putting his boots up on the pew in front of theirs. "Not really..." _Just one _big_ thing. Not a lot though._ Aerith's green eyes shone as she smiled fondly. His heart contracted.

"Uh-huh..." She murmured, not believing him for a second. Cloud swiped at the spikes falling into his face, trying to hide the fact that he was blushing furiously. _I'm gonna tell her this time._ He decided, his heart beating more and more quickly.

"Aerith...there's something..." Words failed him for a moment, and Cloud looked up a little desperately at the brunette. "I think..." Again, his mouth dried up. "I..." _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck..._

The blond was about to give up, his face strawberry red, when he felt a finger being pressed to his lips. Emerald eyes looked into his bright blue ones, filled with sadness. Cloud's mind went blank.

"I know." Aerith breathed. "I know, Cloud... but... I can't return it."

Cloud felt his heart plummet down to his stomach. "What do you...?"

"I'm already in love... with Zack. I thought you knew..."

_Oh..._ He drew away, averting his clouding eyes. _Oh... yeah. And he likes her back...That makes sense. Yeah. _"I did..." The blond realized, voice shuddering just a little. "I guess I... just..."

"I'm sorry."

That night, as he lay in bed, trying his damndest to fall asleep, Cloud couldn't help but think: the world can be so cold.


	15. Silence

"A personal tutor? _Me_?" Riku laughed outright, then realized his professor wasn't kidding. Quite on the contrary, Dr. Diz was silent as usual. The guy had a permanent stick up his ass, Riku could've sworn.

"You are one of the few people I trust enough on campus, not to mention you're fluent in his native language. This student is quite important, Riku."

"Yeah? How? He's just another refugee from Midgar, isn't he?"

Dr. Diz made a derisive noise. "He also happens to be studying to be quite the mechanic. He's taken the next top score in our engineering tests-- just below yours. I'm sure your skills in the physical sciences will be able to help him."

The third-year frowned a little, combing through his sheet of silvery hair. "Well, do I get paid for it?"

"Your pay," His professor straightened, "will be in the form of staying on my good side. Isn't that pay enough?"

Riku glowered, rattling his piercing across his teeth. _So I'm being blackmailed. Real cool, Diz, real cool._

As if reading his mind, his dark-skinned professor smirked. "Don't consider it blackmail. Consider it... a good connection with the very people who run this school. Don't tell me that's not valuable. Especially when dealing with a competitive major such as yours."

The third-year cast his glare to the ground. Architecture was a _bitching _hard major to get into. Diz was doing him a favor, fine. It didn't stop it from irritating him. He hated being forced into things, whether it was good for him or not. He shifted his backpack a little.

"Alright then. When, where, and what?"

"The Great Library: Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from five to seven, starting next week. He needs to improve his maths a bit. You'll see when you meet him for the first session." The professor answered readily, eyes pleased.

Riku was a little put-off by all the time he'd have to put in, but then again, he loved the Great Library... he'd visited the place a lot when he was in middle school, not only for research projects, but just because it was a wonderfully peaceful space.

"Sounds cool. Thanks, Diz." The architecture major swiveled on the spot, wondering how thick of an accent the Midgar guy would have. Diz watched him leave his office quietly.

Riku had much more potential than the boy thought he had. He excelled in science as if he'd been born with the knowledge, and yet... he was so unsure of himself. The professor had his file, detailing what had happened to him in the past, and he couldn't blame the boy for a lack of self-confidence... yet it was a tragic loss. A fine student, destroyed in the bud. Secretly, Diz hoped that working with another high-caliber student like him would bring out his confidence and potential. One could only hope.

Riku waited in the Great Library, ten 'till five o' clock. So he'd gotten excited and had come fifteen minutes early. The silver-haired boy huffed, shedding his jacket and throwing it across his shoulders. He was sitting at one of the long tables people used for studying and research, in the main part of the library.

The Great Library was a beautiful, grand, massive space. Yes, it was at his rival school, Kingdom Academy, but he was _in love _with the building. The architects must have had a field day planning it out, and it looked like a cross of a medieval palace and a steampunk-like boiler room. All the windows were all intricate spectacles of stained glass, and high, gothic facades and sweeping arches of staircases made it like a stony castle. But the walls were a warm, creamy color and there were ribbed pipes twining in and out of the ceilings and walls like sea snakes. A mechanical clock set into the main entrance puffed steam on the hour with a little whistle, and a black and red heart mosaic tiled the floor, some pieces as big as Riku's foot. The book shelves were so tall one had to use rolling ladders to get to some books, though they only let the librarians do that. One could find pretty much any book they wanted if they searched long enough. There were tons of comfortable futons and chairs scattered across each room, and Riku had to wonder if there weren't passageways into secret rooms. He'd heard faint rumors about them, and some kids went around prodding random books, hoping to discover a secret or two, but nothing had come of it so far.

Riku loved the library.

His favorite spot was next to a row of stained-glass windows, where he'd curl up often with a physics book or some sci-fi, or where he'd curl up period just to relax from everyday stress. Today was no different, but he was waiting in the entrance for the foreign kid.

This kid was definitely gonna look like a dork: no foreign kid that smart could look otherwise. Riku would have to be careful to not spend too much time around him. _Ha. No problem. I'm jetting as soon as the seven o' clock whistle goes off._

Okay, now it was five after. Riku frowned, playing absently with his right industrial. This was slightly worrisome. He glanced around furtively, wondering if he'd missed his student. There was a blond guy in black who'd come in about ten minutes ago, who was looking bored as hell, just standing around. _Shit, though, he's gorgeous. _Riku whistled lowly to himself, adjusting his bangs a little. Carefully-carved blond spikes, pale skin that hadn't seen a whole lot of sun, and delicate facial features. The blond had a stubborn look about him, though he was clearly waiting for someone and his _captivating_ ice-blue eyes were dull with boredom. Suddenly the blond's eyes flicked over to him and Riku pretended he'd been looking at the clock above his head. _Oops. Caught._

He shifted a little, hoping he didn't look too messy today. His hair was a little more dry than he liked it... okay that was ten minutes late. This was ridiculous... unless...

He chanced another look at the blond, who was looking irritatedly at his watch. _No fucking way._

Riku walked over to the blond and stopped a bit away, catching his eye.

"_Hey, are you here for tutoring_?" Riku asked in World, the language spoken in Midgar. His pronunciation was a little clumsy, but he could feel his vocabulary coming back quickly.

The previously dull eyes lit up in recognition. The blond nodded, lips tight. Riku's heart flew a little. _Oh god THANK YOU!!! He's gorgeous!!!_

"_Okay, um, my name's Riku. Let's go sit over there._"

The librarian at the front desk nodded at him as he passed by; the third-year grinned easily, overjoyed by his student. The Midgar guy was following him at a distance, only coming close as Riku sat at his favorite little table next to the window. He dumped a couple of his books onto the table and gestured for the blond to sit. After a moment, something flashed across the foreign kid's face, and he sat down sharply. Riku leaned back a little. _Okay... this is weird..._

"_Um... so..."_

"Please don't butcher my language like that." The foreigner interrupted, with only a feather of an accent. He was smirking a bit. Riku bristled at the stab at his ego. _Oh, so this guy's got an attitude..._

"I try." He smiled back as sweetly as he could. Luckily it looked like the new kid wasn't really the snarky type after all: a hint of a real smile crept to the blond's face. "So. What's your name?"

"Cloud. Cloud Strife." There was a bit of a purr to his R's. Riku found it pleasing to the ear. "I'm twenty-one years old."

_He's _older_ than me? But he's shorter... and he looks so young..._Well, no, that was a lie. There was an age in his eyes that actually scared Riku a little: it was so close to his own eyes. The silver-haired boy shook himself a little. "Cool, then... so you need help in engineering-type stuff?"

To his surprise, Cloud shook his head. "It's more of the maths I need help in. I can wire things together, or take apart a truck and put it back. It's just that my high school didn't have a very good calculus program, and it's coming back to haunt me when I try new physics problems."

"Ooookay..." Riku nodded, taking all this in. _This guy really _is _all that and a bag of chips._ "Well, let's see how much you _do_ know..." The silver-haired boy started flipping through his calculus book.  
"Okay..."

Riku cast him a sideways glance as he copied down a problem. The blond was staring around the room, blue eyes flicking from left to right. _He really is gorgeous... _

Riku wasn't a huge one for talk. He let the blond's eyes wander about the library, taking it in. The silver-haired boy made his little quiz the way Zexion had shown him and passed it over to Cloud.

Cloud took out his calculator and got to it, thin blond eyebrows narrowing in concentration.

Sighing, Riku leaned back into his plushy chair, not knowing what to expect from the blond's math skills. Looking up at the vaulted ceilings, he wondered idly what Zexion was doing right now.

_Speak of the devil..._The little scholar was going down the stairs from the second story, his ever-present encyclopedia in arms. He looked a little spaced out, actually, and Riku could tell it wasn't because of the bags under his eyes.

_Don't tell me he's got a crush on someone..._ Riku snorted at the thought. Cloud looked up for a moment, alert. Riku smiled sheepishly at him, then looked back to Zexion. The blond shrugged lightly and went back to work, tapping on his calculator. Zexion had noticed him and assumed his usual haughty look, the one that had garnered his reputation as "World's Smallest Prick".

The pierced third-year made his usual greeting of sticking out his tongue at him, Zexion making the answering disgusted face. If Cloud noticed these exchanges, he didn't show it. The little scholar walked over, raising an eyebrow at the handsome student. Riku grinned, saying nothing.

"Right then. Enjoy yourselves." Zexion smiled slyly, turning to exit the library. Riku was about to yell something back when he felt a piece of paper slide under his hand.

Riku raised an eyebrow at the problems. "Cloud...you said your high school didn't have a very good calculus program... you never said they had an absolutely shitty one. Pardon my French."

The blond hadn't answered seven of the ten questions, and Riku could tell straightaway that the first two were wrong. Cloud sighed.

"Well, now you know what you're working with, at least." He said tragically, smirking wryly.

Riku laughed. "Okay, let's start from scratch..." _This is gonna be a fun semester. _


	16. Questioning

"Hey Riku! Sorry about that: Axel stole my phone..." Roxas murmured hurriedly, heading down the hallway. _That's not embarrassing at all..._

"_It's fine, really. I know how he is." _Riku chuckled. Roxas's heart gave a flutter: he loved that laugh. _"But... are you okay? You kinda ran away from me... I mean I know I'm not approachable at the best of times, but..."_ The upperclassman sounded hesitant, worrying.

"No! No, it wasn't your... fault..." The blond replied, hoping the other wouldn't get the wrong idea. He leaned against the wall, glad his voice wasn't shaking like his heart was. "I just got really nervous..."

"_...Yeah?"_ Riku was quiet.

"Yeah..." Roxas murmured back, voice soft. "I was making a fool of myself the while time and I thought... yeah..."

Riku made a sound of surprise. "_Really? I thought it was all on purpose, like you were trying to be klutzy-cute or something."_ The freshman flushed at the comment._ "I feel bad for laughing now!_"

"It's fine... I thought you thought I was genuinely stupid..."

Silence on the other side of the line. Roxas's heart couldn't have been pounding harder, the blond's breath shaking a little.

"S_o you're okay..."_ Riku questioned after a moment.

"Yeah..."

"_I'm glad it wasn't me..."_

"Yeah..." Roxas breathed. "Don't worry..."

"_So you'd be okay with... lunch later, maybe?" _The freshman's breath caught. _No way... "We could get away from everyone, maybe head to Crimson Jazz or somewhere close..."_ Breath released in a burst, Roxas sank to the floor, heart light. _He wants to see me again... he wants to see me again...holy shit he actually wants to SEE me again!_

"_Would you be okay... with that?"_ Riku asked softly, hesitating. Roxas felt like he was dreaming. Was Riku really asking him out for the second time?! Did he really not mind his klutziness? Was he dreaming?! Oh yeah. He was supposed to say something.

"That'd be great..." The freshman squeaked in reply, feeling lightheaded. "I love Crimson Jazz's coffee..." He pinched him leg lightly. _This isn't a dream! Thank god it isn't a dream!_

He could practically _hear_ Riku's smile. "Cool. I'm glad..."

"Me too..." Roxas was smiling idiotically, heart fluttering in his chest. This was better than his birthday and Christmas combined! This was probably the happiest moment of his life so far (besides when he'd gotten his acceptance letter from KA.)

"_Okay..."_ He heard an electronically-filtered sigh. "_ I have to get back_ _to homework. Fucking statistics..."_ He groaned. Roxas laughed.

"So even the mighty Riku despises math..."

"_There's a reason I'm a business major, Roxas."_ Riku quipped, smiling.

"I could help if you ever wanted it... I'm pretty good at math, actually."

"_Me? Accept help from a Freshman? In your dreams."_ Riku huffed. "_I _do_ have a reputation to uphold, 'kay thanks."_

"'Kay thanks'? What are you, a girl?"

"_Gay man. Close enough."_

"Are you calling _me_ a girl now?" Roxas spluttered, amused.

"_Yes, and you can't do anything about it." _Riku sounded mock-defensive.

"Hanging up now..." Blue eyes rolled.

"_Good night, Roxas..." _Riku smiled warmly. Roxas felt like he was going to melt.

"G-good night, Riku..." He managed, not really wanting to hang up. Filtered silence; it seems Riku didn't want to hang up, either. Finally, the upperclassman chuckled and the call ended.

Roxas sat there, back against the wall, looking dazed. _Riku likes me Riku likes me Riku likes me... _He felt like a teenage girl with a crush, heart soaring. Axel poked his spiky head through the door, looking at him with amused cat-like eyes.

"Soooooo..."

Roxas could only smile goofily, eyes bright.

"I hate to say 'I told you so', but..." The lanky redhead grinned, tapping his head. "I told you so."


	17. Blood

A/N: this one's a little different from the rest of the chapters: tell me what you think of the style. I'm curious.

* * *

_Too much. That's too much blood. _The boy's breaths came ragged, his voice hoarse from screaming. His hair was matted with sweat and blood, his skin grimy and smelly. He was lying in a dried pool of god knows he didn't want to know what but he did and he was trying real hard not to think about it but that's hard when you're lying in it and oh jeezus this was disgusting and he was going to go insane if he didn't die from blood loss first. The boy had long scratches running down his leg like angry red lightning bolts, scabbed and re-scabbed over god knows how many times. Maybe god didn't even know or he wouldn't have let this happen to him. Everything was getting infected, white pus oozing from a wound whenever he even thought to _move_ to try to get more comfortable. Of course that was impossible this was disgusting he was freaking tied to the bed by the ankles, with only enough slack to sit up or curl into a ball. _There's blood everywhere_... He was going to vomit again, he knew it. It's not like he could keep anything down anymore, but though his stomach was twisting with hunger, his throat was refusing food, his gag reflex over-hyped and much too sensitive._ So this is how I get to die. I always figured I'd die in some stupid way but this _isn't _what I had in mind. Somebody get me outta here!!!_ But no one knew where he was. How could they have? He didn't even know where he was himself. All that he knew was that he was in this room and the people keeping him here were batshit insane and fuck he was _never_ going to see his family again and his friends would probably forget about him by next week oh fuck that was a depressing thought. But his tears were all dried up and he knew that making any kind of sound would cause his captors to come in again and he didn't want that. No, he really didn't want that happening. His scabs from hours before had just crusted over but what difference did it make anyways? He was going to die in this place: why the fuck was he worrying over a couple of _scabs_? He started giggling a bit. Was this what insanity felt like? He was losing his grip. Not that it mattered. He was going to die and nobody cared. Why should _he_? It'd be a blessing to die after all this. He just wanted this to be over, but that wasn't true no it wasn't. He wanted to go home and crawl into bed with his parents as if he was six and not fourteen years old. He wanted to see his friends again. He just wanted to go back to the life he'd been happily living: was that so much to ask? Of course it was, of course. After all, he was going to die here one way or another. There was no escaping for him. Even if he managed to cut the ropes, he didn't know how high he was in this building. For all he knew there was nothing out that window but open sky. And he was _not_ going to escape only to become street-pizza, please and thank you. Oh, this was disgusting. He couldn't stand this, but yet he did, he did. He didn't have a choice _but_ to stand this, because he wanted to keep living. This stupid hope he had in the back of his mind, the one that never went out, the one that kept glimmering faintly whenever his thoughts got too dark. He had a stupid, stupid hope that he'd get out of here alive, in one piece, and he could go back to his parents. Then he looked around him and snorted at his stupidity, for there was no escape from this hellhole, he _knew_ that and yet...

_Somebody help me..._ He found the tears to cry.


	18. Rainbow

A/N: Okay, I'll admit this one's title has little to do with the chapter... bear with me. :3

* * *

Zexion sighed. It was raining again, fat drops sliding slowly down the stained glass windows of the Great Library, turning red and blue, then maybe green and purple at it collected and ran down. It'd been stormy this past week, rain clouds sitting overhead, staunchly refusing to move. The wind hadn't been blowing, so there the clouds stayed.

The little scholar closed his precious Yen Sid's Unabridged Encyclopedia Drammatica Version Six, leaning back to look at it fondly. He'd had this heavy tome since he was in middle school, having inherited it from his rather eccentric uncle, Merlin. The old guy had presented it to him once he'd turned thirteen, saying something about how it'd never let him down before. Indeed, it seemed that this ornately-decorated book-- with black, sharp symbols he still didn't know the meaning of to this day-- never seemed to stop surprising him with all the information it had. Given, he had to carry around a magnifying glass to read from the tiny text, but it was well worth it when he wanted to look up a war date or some chocobo breeding practices. He carried his book with him _everywhere_. Don't even ask.

His encyclopedia was part of the reason he wasn't exactly popular at school. Most of the reason he wasn't popular was because he thought he was smarter than everyone and didn't take any shit from people. He'd been not-so-fondly dubbed "World's Smallest Prick."

Zexion snorted, expression turning sour at the thought. He idly examined a corner of his encyclopedia.

It wasn't the prick part that bothered him. It was the smallest one. He'd been taking shit for being small for ages. It's not like his parents were short, either, his mother a willowy, tall woman and his father about average height. He'd been just short of being a midget (no pun intended), so he didn't qualify for hormone injections.

Once middle school had come around and all the girls started sprouting up like beanstalks, the little Zexion had hope. Zexion had tried drinking nothing but milk for months. He'd gotten at least eight hours of sleep each night. He'd even tried wearing platform shoes one day, but by the end of that day the shoes had ended up in the trash and Zexion had spent the afternoon in his room, inconsolable. Nothing worked.

Finally, freshman year came around in high school and Zexion started growing... all of one foot. By Junior year his growth spurts had stopped, girls still towered over him, and guys joked around about using him for football practice. He'd never forgotten the day when he realized he'd never get taller: it had been one of the most miserable days of his life. The little slate-haired boy was undoubtedly the shortest in his graduating class, always heading to the back of the line with a mental sigh when they lined them up for a class picture.

He was a quiet kid. It was just in his nature. In elementary school, he'd tried making friends at first, and he had. But then in first grade he discovered reading. Gone were the days of playing tackle-flag football during recess: he was in the library, his nose buried in a book, blue eyes wide with fascination at this new phenomenon. He read insanely fast, and drove his parents a little crazy by trying to read every billboard and sign they passed on car trips. Zexion was reading chapter books by third grade, always finishing the class's assigned reading weeks before the other kids. It was by then that he started getting a little ego: he was the best reader and speller in his grade. And therefore it was by then that other kids started thinking he was a prick. Unfortunately for him, Zexion didn't know how to not show off when it came to reading. It was the only thing he had going for him: why not show off? By fifth grade he was spending his recess and lunch in the library partly by necessity. No one wanted to play with him anymore.

The slate-haired boy had resigned himself to a lonely life by the time college rolled around. His grades were near-perfect, as he had nothing else to do but study, so he got into the schools he'd wanted. He was used to eating alone, with a book his sole companion. He was used to not making friends: why try when he could only fail? He was used to spending nights wishing for friends when his book supply ran dry. Lately, he'd even noticed that his conscience was bothered when he was reading books and groups of people were laughing nearby. He was jealous. He didn't know what he was missing out on, but he wanted in.

No one wanted in on him, though. After all, who wanted to be friends with the World's Smallest Prick?

Not to mention he TA'd for Xemnas, the most fearsome teacher on campus. The professor ran an insane curriculum on the one class everyone had to take: Grammar and Essay Writing 101. Everyone dreaded the class, and, by definition, everyone hated the TA, who graded all their papers. Xemnas only had Zexion working for him: no one else was masochistic enough to volunteer. (Zexion had volunteered after his second year because he hadn't heard of the professor's brutal tests and lectures. Who could have told him?) The professor had pulled him aside after he'd finished grading the first round of assignments, having spent his whole night working with a red pen.

"You quit this job, and I'll make sure no one ever lets you choose the major you want."

Zexion hadn't needed much more convincing and had meekly nodded, eyes dull gray with exhaustion. On the other hand, working for Xemnas pretty much assured that you were going to get into any major, no matter what the other teachers thought. The man had his ways; Zexion just had to resign himself to no sleep for the rest of his third year.

And yet... this year was an interesting one for him. He'd signed up for tutoring, hoping that maybe someone would show interest in being his friend. Results were already evident: he was good friends with Riku, a punker kid from St. Ansem's University. The guy's lack of respect towards authority drove him nuts sometimes, and his body piercings were quite disgusting, but Zexion could tell they were going to be good friends.

Then there was D-Demyx... Zexion could feel his heart give a little jump at the thought of the big swimmer. The fact that he was gay for him scared him. He'd met the goofy blond in a quite embarrassing manner.

It'd been a beautiful day outside, and Zexion had finished his TA work early. Xemnas had been feeling generous, a rare occasion, and had let him go. He'd felt adventurous that day and had taken an alternative route to his dorm room, swinging by the outdoor pool complex. On a whim, he'd entered inside, never having actually seen the place before.

It was a clean, white place with water-roughed cement and a little rainbow of triangular flags hanging over the blue water. Some team or another was practicing, lean forms cutting expertly through the water with a chorus of splashing. One of the athletes had finished early and was hanging on the edge of the pool. Zexion's breath caught. He'd stumbled into the pro swim team's practice, because that was the famous Demyx, Kingdom Academy's swimming machine. The little scholar had only seen newspaper pictures of the guy, grinning like an idiot and waving some trophy or another aloft, and he hadn't thought much of the swimmer until now.

He was gorgeous in person, with a swimmer's tan and huge upper body muscles. His dirty blond hair was plastered all over his gleaming wet skin, and he had friendly green eyes. He was getting his breath back, it looked, then he suddenly dove under water. Zexion became concerned after about a minute. No one could hold their breath that long, could they? He stepped closer to the pool, in front of the steel bleachers. When the last swimmer finished his laps, Demyx resurfaced with a happy spray of water, flicking his hair from his face like someone from a shampoo ad. He grinned at the jealous glares pointed his way, and Zexion's heart caught at the sight.

_He's beautiful..._ He had to remember to breathe, right.

The coach whistled and the team went off again. Zexion exited the pool as quickly as he could without rousing attention. He'd gone to look up all he could on the guy, FaceSpace being no exception.

So Demyx was a third-year, like him. He'd been swimming since high school and held the record for the fastest 500 on the west side of the nation. Since then he'd won at the Junior Olympics time and time again until he'd been disqualified on his eighteenth birthday. The guy was a drama kid, too, who sang boisterously in school musicals, and was a social butterfly with a close-knit group of friends, some in drama, some not. He was in the drama club, but held no official title in it. Zexion even went as far as to find out what bands he liked and what his favorite food was: thank god for FaceSpace.

The little scholar had started looking in during the swim team's practice, making sure no one saw him and made him earn "creeper" as another one of his titles.

One day he'd dared to go in again, sitting on the bottom bleachers to watch the team warm up. The waterpolo team had just finished practice and was gathering up all its golden balls, some guys chucking them at each other in sport.

Demyx did his thing and popped out of the water again, looking around eagerly. His gaze landed on Zexion and lingered, the blond's head cocking curiously. The little scholar suddenly couldn't breathe well, his face turning pink at the curious green stare. Then a blunt blow to his head had sent him to the ground: one of the balls had flown awry.

The rest was history...

Zexion was in love. Well, at least, he had an insane physical attraction to the blond. It was simple as that. He hadn't believed in love at first sight, but now... oh, but now...

Thunder rumbled lowly outside. The third-year was startled from his reverie, gaze falling on the stained glass again, seeing the rain pelting it furiously. Zexion wondered if Demyx liked the rain. The blond liked water, so why not? The Great Library's clock whistled gently six times. Suddenly the little scholar realized something.

Drama club began in half an hour.


	19. Gray

White light. Dark black. Synonymous for emotions. Blue was sad, black was emo, red angry or passionate, green cheerful and quirky. People always seemed to think that Sora was a bright person, always smiling, cheering up those who were down. Though if he had to put his emotions into colors right now, Sora would say he felt gray. The nothing color. Blank and boring, suppressed. He'd barely kept track of the days so far, only remembering when he bothered to check his watch for the date. His friends had noticed, but he was too numb to tell them anything, just smiling and shrugging it off as being tired from wrestling. He wanted to tell someone: he really did. It was probably the secret more than anything that was weighing him down, but he just _couldn't_ tell anyone.

He didn't want them to know why he was like this.

"Sora? Hey, Sora..." Poke poke. _That's annoying..._

A brown head of spikes emerged from his arms. Bleary baby blues looked up balefully at the person who'd dared to wake him from his nap. Except now they were wide with recognition.

"Hey douchebag..." Sora let his head flop back into his arms, tilted so he could still see the third-year.

Axel chuckled. "I was just checking to make sure you were still alive." He drifted off, standing uncomfortably in the middle of the lecture hall aisle. An awkward silence descended onto the two. Sora lazily passed him the finger. Axel frowned, shaking his head.

"Thanks..." The bell rang shrilly and both boys winced. Axel gave Sora the one-fingered salute and headed down to his seat. The second-year pushed himself upright, nudging awake Tidus, his seat partner.

Spanish 202. Fun stuff. Sora was repeating the course, having absolutely no head for language but needing some credits in order to graduate. Axel was taking it because he'd already mastered Italian and was looking to expand his language skills-- Sora thought it was just to piss him off. Tidus was Sora's friend from high school: they took their boring classes together.

Said kid mumbled incoherently, saying something about Yuna, his ever-lasting girlfriend, as he woke up. Sora smiled a bit at the familiarity.

"Welcome back." He greeted halfheartedly. Tidus blinked slowly, then yawned, brushing sun-bleached golden strands from his face.

"What'd I miss...?"

"Nothing. Professor hasn't come in yet..." Sora took a moment to yawn himself. Tidus groaned, giving him a half-assed shove.

"Why'd you wake me up, then...?" He grumbled, getting his notes out. He gave the brunet another glance: his friend had gray spots under his eyes, said orbs dull and disinterested. This Sora was worrying him, actually. What was going on behind those sad-looking eyes? Tidus's storm-blue eyes narrowed. "You've been moping around a lot these days..." He noted quietly, staring determinedly at his notes. Sora's eyes widened.

"Oh!" _I_'_m being too obvious, aren't I?_ "Sorry. Guess I got a lot on my mind..." The brunet drifted off_, _doodling nonsensical things on his binder. _If Tidus has noticed, I'm being waaay to obvious. C'mon, Sora, keep it together! _He resisted banging his head into the desk like his cousin, Roxas, was prone to do.

"You used the same excuse last class. With the exact same words." The blitzball jock deadpanned, not amused. "C'mon, Sora, what's the deal?" He met his friend's halfhearted gaze.

"It's _nothing_." The second-year ground out, turning from him slightly. "I'm just tired..." He sighed a moment later, turning back. "Really tired..."

"What, have you been pulling all-nighters all week? There's nothing to do these days..." Tidus pressed, wondering what the heck had happened to make his old friend like this.

"It's. Nothing. Don't. Worry. About it." Now Sora was getting annoyed.

"I deserve to know, don't I? Maybe I could help--"

"You can't help!" Sora snapped. "No one can help." He amended a second later, staring down at his shoes. "I'm sorry... It's something I just have to get over..."

Tidus stared sadly at his depressed friend. There had to be something, didn't there...? He opened his mouth to rebut, but then their professor scrambled into the class, flustered as heck. Tidus forgot about their little argument until after Sora had left the class.

He did notice Axel staring after him, too, but didn't think much of it. Yuna's class was done, so they could have dinner now...


	20. Fortitude

Riku sighed happily. This was definitely his favorite time of day, besides when he was tutoring Cloud. Lifting weights at the gym, surrounded by fellow jocks trying to buff up for various reasons. Most wanted to impress the ladies. Some wanted to get more from their sport than what practices offered them. Riku was one of the latter. He had a wrestling team to lead, and besides, he wasn't trying to impress the _ladies_ here. From what he knew, gay guys tended to go for the well-muscled types: not the beefy guys, but the handsomely-buff ones. Only guys could understand-- some girls, too, fine. He didn't like girls much anyway. Paine and her friends were about the only ones he could stand.

Anyway, yeah. Riku was the head of the wrestling team at St. Ansem's. He was by no means the best, but he won more than most people and lost less than most people, so everyone assumed...

_Not that I mind..._ Riku smiled to himself, then got to the bench press. His hair was tied back, some rebellious strands sticking to his sweat-moist skin no matter how much he brushed them aside. Girls who looked through the glass made impressed faces, some winking at him, then passing on. They must have thought that was real cute: Riku gagged inwardly. On the other hand, he could tell some of the girls had seen his industrial piercings-- they were the ones who made disappointed faces, and _that_ made him laugh.

"You're a strange one." He heard a voice deadpan. Riku tilted his head to the side and caught a look at Leon, the wrestling coach. The guy came in every once in awhile to make sure his students weren't hurting themselves without knowing it. "Most kids would want a spotter to make sure they aren't screwing up their backs..."

"You wanna spot for me?" Riku challenged casually, raising a silver eyebrow. Leon walked wordlessly over, arms crossed. He loomed over as Riku reached for the barbell.

"Do it."

Riku grabbed onto the bar and began. Every muscle above his pelvis began straining as he lifted the barbell up until his arms were straight. He had to concentrate on breathing, right. He lowered the massive weight with a grunt, letting it come about three inches above his chest, then immediately raised it back up. The weight was suddenly lifted from him, placed back into the pins. Riku blinked, breathing lightly.

"Your technique is wrong. Who taught you how to do this?" Leon was frowning.

Riku bristled a little. "No one. I taught myself."

His coach sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Okay, your path is straight, and it's impressive that you can press your own weight. Problem is... here, take it again."

Pride stung, the silver-haired boy took up the bar again, breathing deep as he held it aloft, then lowered it. We'd see who was doing it wrong--

"Stop." Leon pushed the bar down until it touched Riku's chest. The third year strained mightily to hold it so close, neck muscles tight. "This is how low it should go. And you should keep it there for a least a full second, not bring it up right away like you were."

_Breathe...breathe..._ _I'm bright red, aren't I?_ Riku nodded, showing he understood, then lifted the weight back up into the pins. His aqua eyes were clouded with strain as he breathed deeply, feeling a new burn in his arms. _That's harder than before... wow..._

"What's wrong, Riku? You wanted me to spot for you, right?" Ohhh, Leon was smirking. That couldn't go overlooked. Raw pride moving him more than anything, Riku grasped the barbell and did it the way Leon asked. The coach didn't say anything, then Riku pressed again, chest heaving, skin pink from exertion. He made a couple more reps like this, feeling an acid burn and exhaustion whenever he lowered the barbell down to his chest. His body wanted to give up: his mind wouldn't let it. _I'll show him..._ Then he noticed his arms were trembling when he locked them straight. _Okay, just one more..._

His arms suddenly refused to work; Riku's eyes widened, then squeezed shut as he felt his arms collapse. Leon caught the barbell, arms straining, and placed it back into the pins.

"You okay?" He helped his student sit up, an arm around his damp back.

The silver-haired boy was breathing harshly, but lifted a finger as if to say 'wait a sec', grimacing as he gasped for air. He met his coach's storm-gray eyes, panting, then nodded. Leon stood back up, wiping the sweat into his pants.

"Keep up the good work. I'm amazed you haven't hurt yourself so far, but a spotter wouldn't hurt." He left to check on his other students. Riku was left getting his breath back, his arms limp and trembling.

The third-year was burning with renewed spirit.

Oh but wait. Now he had to go tutor his hot foreign colleague.

Fuck yeah, life was good.


	21. Vacation

"Heeeey Demyx!" Roxas sprang from his impromptu hiding place, leaping into the big blond's path. The reaction was immediate: Demyx squealed, flailing spectacularly before falling into him. They fell in a pile of awkward limbs, conveniently in front of Axel, whom Roxas had been walking with.

"That was mean, you dickhead!" The swim star whined, refusing to let Roxas up. The smaller blond was the one squealing now.

"You're heavy! Get off, you fat jock!"

Demyx pressed down harder, twisting so he could see Axel. "Oh hey, Ax." He smiled sweetly, despite Roxas's panicked yelps coming from his legs.

"Fuck! My arm! Demyyyyyx!"

The lean redhead chuckled at the sight, catlike eyes gleaming fondly. "How's the team been treating you?"

The swimmer wilted a little. "Same as usual..." He pushed roughly off Roxas, who let out a pained squeal, and stood, brushing the asphalt off his sweater. "I'm used to it by now, and Tidus and Wakka are always there for me, at least."

"Good..." Axel leaned down to help his former roommate stand. Roxas nursed his arm briefly, found nothing wrong with it, then leaped onto Demyx's back, demanding a piggyback ride. "You feeling okay, Roxas?" Axel raised a thin eyebrow at the performance.

"I haven't seen Dem in ages! We gotta catch up!" The blond crowed. "And Riku just bought me coffee. I've never had coffee before; it's good!" His blue eyes were bright as he chattered away, clasping his hands excitedly in front of Demyx's sweater.

Demyx made a mental note to never offer the second-year coffee; Axel likewise. The big blond hefted his high school friend's legs up and started racing around in circles, Roxas laughing delightedly as he almost fell off. Then Demyx made a feint at a pine branch-- the smaller blond gasped, pulling him back.

They fell over again.

"Riku's going to get the wrong idea, Rox..." Axel dutifully picked him up off Demyx. The two blonds sobered a bit.

"'Kay."

The trio made their way to the quad, Roxas and Demyx chatting away, Axel happy to listen and occasionally drop a sly comment. Here they had to part ways, though, all having homework and various tests the next day.

"Hey, Wednesday's Veteran's Day, right? No school?" Axel mentioned as they were about to leave.

"Oh yeah!" Demyx grinned in recognition. "Almost forgot!"

"Do you guys wanna get together to do something?" Roxas asked hopefully, eyes shining. There was always a lot to do on Veteran's Day. The other two considered for a moment, Demyx nodding first, then Axel.

"Yeah. Teachers aren't giving out anything. Figure they want a vacation, too." _That, and everyone's too lazy to throw a party that day..._

"No swim practice!" _That, and I get to procrastinate more on my music theory project..._

The second-year brightened. "Cool! Um... what to do..."

"We'll figure out something." Axel said, waving it off. Demyx nodded.

"Call us!" He started heading down to his dorm room, grinning goodbye. Axel left, too, with a lazy salute.

"'Kay!" Roxas called over his shoulder, smiling.

Wednesday was going to be a good day.


	22. Mother Nature

Little tiny reference to The Writer, one of my favorite authors... I'll be surprised if anyone catches it.

Durr hurr it's kinda a filler chapter... I apologize...

It rained on Veteran's Day. Roxas was not pleased. Axel even less so, hating how wet stuff stuck to his skin. Demyx was on cloud-fucking-nine.

The swimmer was dancing into every puddle they came across, giggling as he splashed around like a toddler. There were days when Axel wanted to kill him, oh yes, there were days like that... and this was probably going to turn into one of those days.

Why it was raining so much in Radiant Garden was anybody's guess. Fall was the designated rainy season here, torrents of rain coming with the turning of leaves. Leaf piles were decidedly _not_ fun to jump into these days. The city had great draining, all of the water falling into the gorge below, and it made quite a sight to see the waterfalls a few hours after the rain had stopped. On the other hand, the cobblestones... not so great. Axel couldn't figure out how the normally clumsy blond hadn't fallen down yet when even _he _was having a hard time keeping his footing.

Roxas had slipped a few times, Axel or Demyx there each time to catch him. The blond was in a dark mood, his black hood adding to his glower as rain dripped from his flattened bangs. Axel did feel a little bad for the kid: he'd been the one who'd suggested the Veteran's Day outing and had been the most excited about it. Now he stumbled again and cursed Mother Nature: she didn't like him today, and the feeling was mutual.

The parade had been called off, the farmer's market was closed, and tickets to their desired movie had sold out: apparently they weren't the only one's who'd thought of it.

"So..." Axel began, the three of them huddled together under Scrooge's Ice Cream stand, halfheartedly sucking at the blue treats. "Any bright ideas?"

Roxas was quiet, busy glaring at the skies as if his eyes could burn the clouds away. Demyx raised his hand slightly, looking timidly at the smaller blond.

"We could go to the Hundred Acre park..."

"That's for _little kids_." Roxas mumbled sourly.

"Sora used to like it..."

"Sora will always _be_ a little kid." The smaller blond said sagely, giving his popsicle a rough bite. Axel winced at the double-meaning Roxas was unintentionally giving off.

"We could... naw, it's too late to go to Twilight Town...hmm..."

Axel spoke up, surprisingly. "How about Atlantica? It's free today, and Ariel's working there for her first time." He received a withering glare from Roxas.

"You just wanna check her out..."

"So what? She's hot...what happened to Riku, anyway?" Instant gratification: Roxas defused, eyes lowering to the blue-cobbled ground.

"Fucking ASB shit... the usual... he's always busy during holidays..." The second-year cursed, biting chunks off the stick now.

"You should invent stuff to get him off work! I'm sure they don't need _that_ much of his time!" Demyx smiled encouragingly. Roxas smiled a little back, but it was a sad smile.

"How do you think we always have lunch Mondays and Wednesdays?"

Demyx faltered, face falling. "Oh... crud... wow..." He stared sadly at his melting popsicle.

"With great power comes great responsibility..." Axel quoted sagely, biting softly into his. "Although.." He continued, mouth full. "... you could argue he doesn't get jack shit for doing what he's doing." He avoided his eyes, waiting for Roxas to take the bait.

"Uh, high honors when he graduates, gratefulness from pretty much _all_ the faculty, which means nice little bonuses here and there, access to pretty much any class he wants to take, connections with a whole lot of celebrities who visit, not to mention most of the important people in your class, and... he got to greet the president once." Roxas quipped, counting off his fingers. "I'd say that's a little more than jack shit, actually."

"No way!" Demyx's eyes bulged. "The president?! Of the whole country?!"

"Yup." The second year said proudly. He loved talking about Riku.

"Forgot about that..." Axel mumbled, eyes gleaming. _Mission accomplished._

Now that Roxas was in high spirits, the three of them went off to Atlantica, having little better to do.

Demyx had just finished licking the blue from his fingers as they went into the massive aquarium. Axel was chewing absently on his stick, Roxas grimacing at the display. Guys were gross sometimes.

Atlantica was famous for its ornate aquarium environments, the biggest tank featuring an underwater kingdom complete with a twisting castle. The lighting beautifully showed off everything in each tank, and the cleaning divers were sometimes dressed up as mermaids or the like. Several walkways enhanced the experience: some tunneled into the tanks so you could see the fish from below, half-scared that the glass would collapse just as you got inside. Other walkways went above the normal ones so you could see the visitors below and wave. The lights outside the tank were either all blue or very dark, casting an ephemeral underwater feel to the whole experience.

The trio was now walking in front of the shark tank, a sunken galleon with purposefully somewhat-murky water. A couple treasure chests dotted the sand, making Roxas feel as if he was watching part of some pirate movie. Lithe sharks drifted in and out of the rotting wood, casting blank beady stares at the ones on the other side of the glass. Demyx shied away as he saw a Great White's set of teeth; Axel whistled lowly, popsicle stick in the corner of his mouth.

A little kid reached through the bars of the walkway and tapped at the glass, only to be reprimanded gently by his mother and moving on. Roxas smiled at the scene. He remembered being that little, seeing the massive blue tanks full of giant fish, barely able to see over the bars. Days when he'd lived in Twilight Town, a good three hours train ride from here. He didn't know whether those days had been better or not: he liked his life right now, right here. He went to a great college, had good grades, had made amazing friends, and even had had a boyfriend for a year strong. Moving now was out of the question--

"Lookit, Roxas! A tiger shark!" Demyx jostled him out of his thoughts, pointing straight ahead. The tan, striped shark regarded them with feral slitted eyes as it drifted by, then moved on to other things.

"Cool..." The second-year smiled, more amused by his friend's fascination than the wonder of nature. Axel was texting surreptitiously, phone tapping under his lithe hands. "Why don't _you_ work here, Dem? You know every fish already."

"I'd love to..." The big blond ran a hand down the glass, looking peaceful in the blue lighting. "But swim team doesn't give me enough time during the season. Maybe next semester..." He drifted off wistfully, looking through at the sunken ship.

A peaceful silence fell between the three of them.

...besides Axel's texting.


	23. Cat

His tutor was a lot like a cat.

Cloud had had time to notice over the past two weeks of being with Riku. He always had a little spare time to (secretly) look over the silver-haired kid whenever his mini-quizzes were being graded. So he was bored: sue him. The Great Library could only be so entertaining for so long.

First off, Riku rarely ever blinked. When he was poring over a paper, his turquoise eyes would shift rapidly from side to side, but he'd never actually blink until he turned the page or something. Second, Cloud noted, was that when he yawned, he took his sweet time yawning, and even bared his teeth a little. The kid had nice teeth. Third, when he stretched, he stretched goooooooood, bending his whole back over the chair and occasionally making pleased squeaking noises when he felt his spine pop. The blond couldn't deny that he enjoyed popping his knuckles himself, but his back wasn't that flexible. And lastly, Riku was always swatting at his own hair, like a cat batting idly at a piece of string. Okay, fine. He thought his tutor was kind of sort of hot. Boredom did wonderfully weird things to one.

Cloud wondered. If he brought sushi one day for a snack, would Riku beg for it?

He found himself liking the idea far too much. That was kinky. Riku was a guy.

And yet Cloud was only human...

He ambled into the Great Library with a box of sushi in his backpack. The blond was fairly sure this was a dumbass idea, but he just _had_ to try it. Just to satisfy his inane curiosity.

Riku was taking a catnap on the usual table near the stained glass windows, silvery hair obscuring his face. Cloud couldn't resist: he dropped his three-pound calculus textbook onto the table. His tutor flailed awake, eyes wild.

"Sorry." Cloud shrugged, taking a seat by him.

"Jerkass..." Riku grumbled, rubbing at his eyes and taking a deep breath. Once done, he yawned. Then streeeeeetched... then flipped his hair back from his face. The Midgarian couldn't help a little chuckle, silenced when his tutor gave him an ill-tempered shove.

"Grumpy today, are we?"

"Sleepy... get out last night's homework. Lemme take a look..." The silver-haired kid mumbled, tossing his hair back. Cloud nodded, taking out his workbook and papers. He was waiting for the mini-quiz to bring out his experiment. For now, he took out his English notes, glossing over them to review all of his conjugations, making sure he had them right. For god's sake, this language was difficult to memorize!

Riku flipped through the chapter, trying to wake up. He was soooo hungry, he hadn't had time for lunch. So he'd procrastinated a little on his homework...

Cloud's interest over the English language waned when he caught a look at a sleep-deprived Riku. His silvery-white hair was draping elegantly over his face like a sheer curtain, yet he could see those turquoise eyes moving unblinkingly back and forth as Riku scanned the calculus book. His mouth was slightly open, a habit Cloud assumed came about when he was tired. Riku was gorgeous. Especially when off-guard.

"I'm impressed. You've picked this stuff up pretty fast." The third-year handed Cloud his homework back.

"Thanks..."

"There _is_ one problem. It looks like you've forgotten how..."

They lapsed into math.

Riku handed Cloud a mini-quiz once they'd gone over the material. Cloud's heart leaped. Now for his dumbass experiment! The blond quickly razed through the problems, feeling a stupid urge to laugh. _This is _such_ a fucking stupid idea. I can't believe this... nothing's going to happen, anyway._

Riku took up the ten questions when he was finished, sure there were going to be a lot of mistakes after that little time. Cloud leaned back into his chair, sighing halfheartedly. _Act casual..._ He got the box of sushi out, then snapped open a pair of chopsticks.

Riku's head snapped up at the sound, gazing at the box. Cloud pretended he hadn't noticed, opening the plastic with a couple clicks.

"No fair..." The silver-haired boy mumbled, trying to turn his attention back to the quiz. His stomach was growling almost audibly and that blond asshole had the gall to eat in front of him? Life wasn't fair... "I wanna piece of that..."

"Pardon?" Cloud questioned politely through a mouthful of California roll._ I can't believe it..._

"Nothing..." Riku mumbled frustratedly. His stomach gave a painful gurgle.

"Do you want some?" Cloud swallowed, fighting a grin. _He's totally... no way..._

He could tell Riku was trying to resist. "No, I'm fine..."

"Okay." California roll number two of six disappeared into the blond's mouth.

Riku made his way through problem number four, circling this mistake here, checking off this there... his stomach twisted. He whimpered as the smell of the sweet sushi reached him. Cloud was halfway through the pack. It was do or die (of hunger).

"Fucking tease..." He'd have to die before his pride let him ask for it.

Cloud pretended not to hear, blue eyes bright with merriment. Oh, he liked the power he had over Riku: it was a fun feeling. Roll number four, down the hatch.

"Please... can I have one?" Riku murmured, his stomach getting the better of him. He was only human.

He wouldn't meet Cloud's eyes, though.

"Come again?" The blond asked politely, chewing quietly. He wanted to hear this.

"Can I have a roll, please? I'm starving..."

"I'm pretty hungry, too..." Cloud teased, poking at the fifth roll with his chopsticks. Riku groaned.

"_Please?_ I haven't eaten all _day_, Cloud!"

The blond pretended to mull this over, enjoying the begging look he was getting out of that gorgeous face. "Hmm..." He picked up the roll lightly, eying it. "Alright. Here." He held it out via chopsticks.

Riku couldn't contain his eagerness to eat: he almost bit the ends of the sticks off, chewing in ecstasy.

_Oh, shit..._ Cloud was getting turned on now. That expression... Riku's eyes were pleased slits of green, the third-year making happy noises as he downed the roll. _That didn't go as planned._

_I'm not supposed to fall for guys... what about Aerith?_ That sobered him a little. But then he looked again at his hot tutor, the boy licking his lips like a pleased cat, looking at him gratefully.

Cloud pushed the last roll to Riku, a smile gracing the corner of his mouth at the thankful expression he received. The silver haired boy chewed happily, catlike in his happiness.

_Or maybe it went exactly as planned. _


	24. No Time

Roxas growled.

He roughly seized his cousin by the wrists, slamming him into the wall of his dorm. Sora yelped in pain, blue eyes wide with shock. Roxas met blue with blue, his gaze fierce.

He'd had enough of Sora's moping. He needed to know what was going on _now._

"You're going to tell me what happened. In minute detail. Before I call Demyx to help pin your ass down." The blond growled, his face inches away from his cousin's.

Sora frowned, eyes darkening. "Fuck you--"

Roxas shoved him up higher, showing unusual strength for someone who didn't participate in a sports team. He knew exactly how to incapacitate his cousin, from years of play fighting. The small brunet's struggles weakened, and he made complaining noises in the back of his throat.

"I deserve to know! You're my fucking_ cousin_, you asshole."

Sora winced, unable to move. Oh, how he wanted to tell him. To scream to the whole world. But then his life would be over as he knew it.

He couldn't take the look that would be on Roxas's face: he could already picture it. The reaction the blond would have would be even worse, though. It would probably ruin him. Tear him apart.

"I can't..." He whined, turning his head from Roxas's glare. Tears clouded his vision. _I want to... _"I can't tell anyone, especially _you_..."

Roxas faltered, not having expected _that_. His conscience was worried now: the blond hated it when Sora cried. It was a heartbreaking thing to see. "What do you mean, you can't tell me? Sora!" He shoved the brunet harder into the wall. "Tell me! It can't be that bad!" The older cousin begged, blue eyes pleading.

"Whenever you cry, it hurts like_ I'm_ the one crying! Whenever you're depressed, I can't help but want to cry, too! Sora, tell me what's wrong! I'm sure I can help..."

"Noooo..." Sora whimpered helplessly, tears starting their way down his face.

Now Roxas could feel his eyes blur, his stomach twist. "Don't cry..."

Sora cried harder, to his amazement. Roxas lowered him down, took him in his arms, squeezing that shaking body tight to him. The younger of the two buried his face into Roxas's hood, cries wracking his frame. The blond stroked at his soft spikes, murmuring nonsense as he rocked gently back and forth. It hurt Roxas to see his normally cheery cousin so down in the dumps. "Don't cry..."

He wasn't sure how long he held his cousin like this, but it seemed like ages before Sora leaned back from his hold, sniffling. Roxas reached up to tenderly wipe away his tears, then planted a soft kiss on his forehead. Sora whined emptily, leaning back into the blond.

"You okay...?"

Sora nodded into his sweater, then drew away. A million thoughts and possibilities had raced through his head while he'd been crying into his only cousin's shoulder. Roxas was like a brother... maybe even more than that.

A brother with perks? Sora giggled wetly, wiping at his nose. In any case, he'd decided.

"I think I'm ready to talk now..." He took a seat at the edge of Roxas's bed, then fell backwards so he could lie down. Roxas lied down next to him, taking his hand.

Silence.

Then:

"It was at the last party before the first semester began, you know? The one at Axel's frat..."


	25. Trouble Lurking

THIS CHAPTER IS RATED 'M' FOR ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION AND VARIOUS OTHER THEMES. Just so you know.

...

...Enjoy. :3

* * *

"C'mon, Miyasaki!" Skunk called.

Sora groaned. The whole team was yelling at him now.

"It'll be fun! Let's go!"

"It's already started! This is the last huge event of the summer!"

"I don't know, guys..." The lean brunet piled into the car with the rest of them even as he said this. "Frat parties aren't really my thing..." _I've never been to one before..._ His teammates nudged him playfully.

"Aw, you're gonna love it. Let's hit it!" And with that, booming rap started blasting from the blown-out speakers and the car full of wrestling kids rocketed into the street. Sora couldn't help but laugh at the rush, feeling himself relaxing as his teammates started up conversation. The brunet felt safer with more people: as long as he stuck with his friends at the party, he'd have fun.

Eventually the car reached Greek Row, the series of blocks that designated the fraternities and sorority houses near campus. Sora had walked by the places during the day, mildly impressed by the number of beer cans lying around the frat houses. The place was pretty, full of ancient deciduous trees making poetic piles of leaves in the fall, as well as making for a picturesque view of Greek Row. Cans could be shopped out, right?

Sora shifted uncomfortably as they neared the place: it was completely different at night.

Far from the homely serenity the houses exuded during the day, Greek Row at night was pulsing with too-loud bass, excitement, drunkenness, over-stimulation, and general boisterousness. There was no such thing as quiet on a summer night here: kids were constantly yelling at each other, whether in play or drunken rage, cans were being popped open and broken, and there was a chorus of random cheers from each house on occasion. The police had long since given up on stopping them during these times, coming only when people bothered to report underage drinking or too-loud noise.

Their car slowed as they passed house to house, trying to drive carefully through the careless jaywalkers and crowds of gaudily-dressed girls. Skunk was craning his neck to see the house names: apparently they were looking for Alpha-Delta. They said it was huge. Massive. Castle-like. With ornate statues in front and everything.

Sora started as the car screeched to a halt in front of a group of tipsy girls. The girls wobbled a bit, barely understanding that they had been about to get squashed, then slowly made their way across the street, leaning on their more-sober counterparts. The wrestlers looked at them, safely-crossed, then looked at each other. The car burst out laughing.

In high spirits, they parked and made their way along the streets, none of them really knowing where to go. Sora was content with ambling along: it was nice out, he was warm in the sleeveless jersey and shorts he was wearing. The brunet's friends pointed out a couple houses along the way, telling horror stories about people who'd died there or gossip about famous graduates having lived there. Some of them made eyes at couples of girls they passed, whistling. Sora played along, glad to have fun. Eventually, though, they reached the house they were looking for: Alpha-Delta.

The fraternity... was a mansion, including the entrance gates. It must have been three stories tall, a huge masterpiece of modern-castle style. Two polished-looking statues of The Knight and the Magician flanked the main door, the door itself set into stained glass. Carved on the door were the two Greek letters depicting the house's name. The front lawn was well-kept and trimmed, a few trees dotting the area. A stone-cobbled fence surrounded the entire complex, wreathed generously in sheets of ivy.

Of course, there was a massive party going on, so pretty much all of these details went ignored.

The sun had begun to set: the party was just beginning! The lawn was littered with piles of cans, as was the sidewalk in front, as was the driveway in the back ,where people were sitting out, drinking and chatting as they watched their friends play 'Horse' in the court. There was a throb of kids weaving their way inside, and you could see them leaning over the balcony, holding red cups. Christmas lights were strung all over the area, for decoration-- and lighting's-- sake. Muted bass throbbed throughout the entire block: that was definitely Sexy Back.

Sora started. He'd almost lost his friends in the chaos. He grabbed onto the back of Skunk's shirt, just to make sure they wouldn't get separated. The team captain grinned at him, then gestured forward.

They started by exploring the frat house. There was a massive living room, with a couple ping pong tables set up for a certain game-- Sora noticed there was a chandelier hanging above it all, with a flight of wooden stairs curving up to the second floor. Another living room was reserved for dancing: just being near the door made one gag with stifling heat and compressed body odor. The kitchen area downstairs was crowded with kids pouring and ordering house-specials: the floor was constantly wet with spills, and Sora didn't want to think about them too much. They lost a couple teammates along the way to various girls and games occurring throughout the house.

Soon it was just Sora and Skunk. And the latter was talking to a girl in his algebra class, so the brunet figured he'd have to re-find one of his teammates. Maybe he could go try his hand at beer-pong... Skunk suddenly shoved a cold red cup in his hand, brimming with a bitter-smelling liquid.

"Here! See what you think!"

Sora knew what he was holding: the fabled red plastic cup. He knew what Skunk was telling him to do.

"Is this really...?" He could tell by the awful smell: beer.

The fourth-year nodded briskly, clapping him on the shoulder. "Try it! C'mon, where's that adventurous 'Monster Miyasaki'?" He quoted Sora's wrestling name: no one who'd ever underestimated him had come out victorious. Sora grinned uneasily, staring at the foamy stuff, then raised it to his lips.

True to its smell, it tasted like shit. _How the fuck do people make a habit of drinking this?!_

Skunk laughed at the disgusted wince that took over his teammate's face. "It's an acquired taste, I'll admit. But maybe you could get a mixed drink down in the kitchen? The house special completely hides the taste."

_What if I don't feel like drinking at all? This is gross, and no one's here to talk with..._Sora forced a grin. "Sounds good." He waved farewell to Skunk, who was probably going to... _well._ "Go Skunk..." The brunet muttered as he turned to start down the stairs to the kitchen.

He ended up being pressed to the wall to avoid being projectile-vomited on. The brunet hissed worriedly, but the sick kid had his friends to help drag him upright.

Sora hesitated, then just slumped against the wall. _This sucks..._ _what's the point of going to a wild party if there's no one to party with? And besides: you can't get wasted unless you have friends to help you out. Stupid... _But he couldn't blame his teammates. They knew some of the kids here from other classes; he didn't. Although he recognized a few, he didn't know anyone well enough to hang out with them. _I might as well go home, really..._ He thought, depressed.

Suddenly, someone was at his side. Someone kinda familiar...

"Why the long face?" Axel was leaning against the wall with him, arms crossed, a bottle dangling from his grip. The lanky redhead observed him keenly, eyes bright with charm.

"Hey... Axel? You're Roxas's roommate, right?"

"_Was_ his roommate. That was so last year." He affected a gay voice, flopping his wrist comically. Sora giggled. "I'm part of the frat here, actually. Helping run tonight."

"Really? Wow..." Sora wasn't _that_ surprised, actually. Axel was indisputably popular among the kids on campus. He was charming and always seemed to know what he was doing, even when he was going out on a whim; not to mention he had a sly way about him that made him seem all the more mysterious. Those features tended to attract people pretty well. Some kids joked that he was the "underground king" of Kingdom Academy, and a few rumors were flying around that he had a chunk of the faculty wrapped around his little finger. Axel neither confirmed nor denied the rumors, as was his style.

"So... why the long face? Don't tell me you don't know anyone here!" The look on the redhead's keen face was incredulous when Sora nodded sheepishly, grinning. "Monster Miyasaki..." He tisked, shaking his head dramatically. "What am I going to do with you?"

"How about _you_ hang out with me? I was planning on leaving if I didn't know anyone here." The freshman-turning-second-year suggested, a twinkle in his blue eyes. Now he could get to know Roxas's famous roommate.

Axel considered, or at least pretended to. "Alright." He sighed, lifting himself from the wall casually, Sora following suit. "Let's get you something decent to drink, first off. You don't seem like the bare-alcohol type to me." Sora nodded, following him downstairs.

Kids called out greetings to the "underground king" as he wove through the crowds, Sora following closely. Now that the brunet looked, he _did_ know some kids around here... He called to one of his lab partners from Physics and was happy when the kid grinned fondly back.

A bass thrum was reverberating throughout the whole house: Sora listened to the pattern for a moment, rounding a group of very drunk girls sprawled on a couch. He wasn't one for dancing, but he listened to rap radio stations enough to recognize the one booming through the house now. "_Next thing you know, she got..."_

They made their way to the kitchen, where there was a throng of kids crowding around for drinks. Most were going for the beer tap, the rest for the house special. Axel slid his way behind the counter and started mixing juice and syrups in with the bitter beer, laughing as someone knocked a can over. As he waited, Sora found that he knew a couple of the kids that were part of the frat, too. There was Aladdin, chatting it up with his girlfriend, Jasmine, as he mixed drinks alongside Axel. Tramp was leaning against the door frame, grinning at a couple of pretty girls, and eying him enviously was Stitch, one of the frat's few freshman. Axel suddenly thrust the cup into his hands: it smelled like some tropical punch now.

"Try _that_." His green eyes sparkled mischievously. That was a worrying look.

Watching him for a reaction, Sora took a little sip. He frowned. He took another sip, licking his lips. "It's just punch..." _Oh wait._ It had that burning feel in the back of his throat.

"Vodka." Axel grinned, crossing his arms proudly. "Real easy to mask. Just add juice."

Sora nodded, pleased that he could drink something that didn't taste like shit. Axel slipped from behind the counter, giving a brief salute to his frat brothers, and stood alongside him.

"Let's go to the pong tables. I got another hour before I get busy again."

"What's your job?" The second-year asked, following him like a chick. "Don't tell me you have to clean everything up..."

Axel laughed wryly. "We _all_ have to pitch in to clean up. No..." He grinned easily at a couple of tipsy guys who hooted his name. "There's the hour of power. It's a game we play. Main attraction for all those who are still kinda sober."

Sora chuckled. "So no one watches?"

"You'd be surprised."

Sora had been getting surprise after surprise tonight. _I guess these types of parties aren't so bad after all..._ He was kind of excited for this Hour of Power game Axel had mentioned: was it a feat of strength or something? See who could do something for a whole hour? The poor kid had no idea.

They wandered throughout the house, Axel pointing out the games being played here and there, introducing Sora to a couple of his house mates, and they ended up hanging out outside when it got too stifling inside. Summer was summer, after all.

They were watching a couple kids attempt to play basketball: more than once, the guys fell over spectacularly, then got up and pretended nothing had happened. It was hilarious.

Sora found that he'd finished his drink. "Aw, I'm out..." He looked sadly at the bit of juice-vodka mix in the bottom rim of his cup.

Axel had been getting bored anyways. "Wanna go get another? On me?"

"If you don't mind..." The brunet blushed a little. He didn't like taking favors from people, but he _was_ thirsty now. The redhead grinned, downing the last of his own bottle, then swung upright from their seat on the railing. He checked his watch for a second, his face brightening.

"Alright... almost time anyways."

"How much longer?"

"I got another ten minutes or something. Depends on who's sober enough to keep track of the time."

Sora laughed, then found himself swaying a bit. He leaned against the wall, sobering a little. _That's funny... I don't really _feel_ drunk..._

"C'mon, Monster Miyasaki!"

He shrugged and followed Axel once again. _It's nice of him to show me around like this..._ The back of his mind couldn't help but wonder why. Then he figured it was because he was Roxas's cousin. Axel and Roxas had grown to be great friends over the year they'd stayed together in their dorm. They had hung out a lot over the summer before Axel had been "rushed" into Alpha Delta.

Back in the kitchen, Sora noticed that Tramp was gone, as was Stitch, but Aladdin and Jasmine were making out quite obviously in a corner. The brunet blushed, not really a fan of PDA, and forced himself to look over Axel as the redhead mixed the punch.

_He's not... bad looking, really...whoa._ Sora forced his train of thought to a stop, eyes widening. He'd been checking a guy out. A _guy._ With a dick. And no boobs. _Maybe I've already had too much... _He grimaced, wondering if he should leave soon. If he got any drunker, who knows what would happen? He _had_ heard the horror stories, after all...

He took the cup Axel offered him anyway. Not sure why. _Maybe can I trust him.. who knows?_

"Oy, Axel! It's eleven!" Someone called loudly enough to turn heads.

"Be there in a sec!" Axel yelled back, grabbing Sora by the hand. "Let's go!"

_What the heck?! Why's he grabbing my hand? This looks gay! _The wrestler turned pink, following the third-year up to the ping pong living room. The tables had been cleared away save for a big circular one in the middle, where several frat guys were sitting. Sora recognized Zidane, Demyx's old roommate, but he rest of the guys...

There was a platinum blond guy with a goatee, blue eyes sparking with a competitive edge. Besides him sat a tan guy with bright orange hair, and he sat next to Zidane, whom Axel plopped down next to. Sora hovered behind his chair, aware that a little crowd was forming.

"Hey guys, sorry to hold it up. I'm here." He made a quick apology. Zidane grinned, sliding him a shot glass which read 'It's not called alcoholism until you graduate'. Axel looked a little disappointed. Then Sora realized his glass was a lot taller than everyone else's. The brunet pieced it together when he caught a look at the massive stacks of beer cans forming a pyramid on the table.

_It's a drinking game... shoulda guessed._ He rolled his eyes a little, wincing at he smell of the alcohol as they cracked open a couple cans.

"Get that list running!" Axel crowed, to the cheers of the kids. "Let's get this party started in three..." Everyone joined in on the countdown, even Sora, who still didn't really know how this game worked.

"_I'll never give up my heart!"_ A voice rang out. The guys all downed a shot, and then the voice gave way to music. They refilled their glasses, casting grins at each other.

Now Sora was confused.

"Yeah Axel!"

"Go Zid!"

Halfway through the song, though, the voice called again. "_I'll never give up my heart!"_ Another shot then a different track of music. Axel leaned back, gesturing Sora forward.

"See, this is Alpha Delta's specialty, the Hour of Power. These songs all last about a minute, then when the base recording goes off, we all take a shot. It lasts for an hour, and that's a _lot_ of beer--"

"_I'll never give up my heart!"_

He stopped to take a swig, then continued. "It's basically a test of alcohol tolerance."

Sora made a face. That didn't sound like a very fun game: drink 'till you puke, yay! "Sounds... fun..."

"It's funnier when you're drunk. Then again..." Axel paused, smiling. "Everything's funnier when you're drunk."

There went the voice, there went the shot. Sora took a gulp of his punch, feeling thirsty.

"This is gonna take awhile, as you can guess." Axel met his eyes honestly. "You can go off on your own if you want. Come back in like, half an hour. This'll be way more fun by then."

The little brunet nodded, turning around. _Maybe I'll go check out the dance room..._

About half an hour later, Sora was on his third drink and had rejoined Axel at the Hour of Power table. The redhead had had a seat pulled up for him, provided Sora refill his shot glass. He really didn't look all that tipsy, besides the fact that he was wearing a tie around his head. Sora wished he could have said the same: he knew he was _quite_ drunk by now. He couldn't keep his head from lolling around a little, so he was slumped on the table, facing Axel.

"You all right there?" He asked the brunet, giving him a friendly push. Sora lifted his head to place it in his hands, then nodded.

"I feel fine... I just can't really stand straight..."

Shot. Refill.

"This isn't your first time drinking, is it...?" Axel asked cautiously, dreading the answer he thought he'd get. Sora nodded again, head slumping with the effort. The frat boy gently held him up. "Hey, why don't you go outside for a little? It'll help you sober up."

Sora shook his head, noticing that it was difficult to keep from over-exaggerating his movements. _So this is drunk... I really... don't feel good._ His stomach wasn't a happy camper. He could tell it wasn't puke-nausea, but it was definitely not good for moving around. "'M not moving..."

"You're not going to throw up, are you?"

"No... just don't wanna move."

"Alright..."

Shot. Refill.

Sora took a little nap, head in his arms.

He was blasted awake only minutes later when people were yelling. "THREE."

Shot. Refill.

The brunet looked up at Axel. The redhead was grinning almost all the time now, eyes half-lidded; the tie kept falling into his face. Zidane and the orange-haired guy were passed out on the table, but the blond guy was still in, though he had lost a good bit of his poker face. Cans freely littered the table, some crushed, some falling off with a clatter. There was one full can left, split between the two of them.

"You feeling good, Luxord?" Axel drawled, teasing his only opponent, waving his larger shot glass at him. The redhead had been downing shots about half a size more than all of his opponents, and yet he was still coherent. Luxord, the blond guy, looked about as drunk as he was.

"We're not all beasts like you, Ax." He quipped, keeping his gaze steady despite the way he kept swaying a little now and then, like he was nodding off.

The redhead beamed at the compliment.

"_I'll never give up my heart!"_

"TWO!" The crowd of kids roared as they downed the second-to-last shot. Axel let out a refreshed sigh and laid back, arms crossed: Luxord looked like he was having a hard time keeping it down.

"Go Axel!" Sora cheered, pumping his fist, only to have it flop down. He giggled. He felt all loopy.

The general cheering increased, some kids making puking noises to try to upset Luxord. The music was booming through "Barbie Girl"; a lot of guys were singing along, leaning obscenely on their friends. Axel slung an arm over Sora's shoulders and the two started lip-synching to the song, holding an imaginary mike between them.

"_I'll never give up my heart!"_

"ONE!" The crowd burst into cheers as Axel and Luxord finished the last shot.

"I win!" The two frat boys managed to stand, Axel pointing at himself, Luxord the same.

"Yaaaay!" Sora cheered, throwing his hands in the air. Axel hugged the brunet to him, Sora cuddling back cheerfully. The contestants shook hands, then Luxord staggered off, mumbling about getting some fucking sleep.

As Axel was congratulated by drunk kid after drunk kid, Sora realized he didn't have a ride home. His wrestling mates were completely gone, and most everyone here was plastered, or near to it. His summer dorm was about, oh... on the other side of campus.

"Fuck!" He cursed himself loudly, not knowing what to do. Would he have to try to stagger home and hope he wouldn't get lost or mugged? His faith in his body was not at its greatest right about now.

"What's up?" Axel turned to him, getting pretty close. The redhead had lost his sense of space-bubble when he'd downed his last couple shots.

"I don't have a ride home..." Sora whined. Axel shrugged.

"You can sleep in my room if you want: I've got a nice couch." He offered, grinning as someone slapped him heartily on the back.

"Really?" Sora's eyes widened. "You'd do that?" He staggered, almost falling over.

Another shrug. "Well, yeah. I'm not heartless, thanks. Here. Follow me."

He gestured upstairs, waving farewell to kids who were leaving. Once in Axel's room, the redhead fumbled with his drawers for a bit before yanking them open. He handed Sora a blanket and a sleeping pillow, throwing the couch pillows to the floor.

"Thanks, Axel." Sora smiled happily, setting up the couch to sleep in. The "underground king" grinned lazily back.

"No problem. Now..." He stretched clumsily, then headed for the door. "I'm going to start wrapping the party up. We have a policy of ending by one or two, and drunk kids? Not so easy to get out."

"G'night." Sora murmured, burrowing comfortably into his blankets.

As he quickly found out, though, it was near-impossible to get comfortable on the couch. It was lumpy underneath the leather cushions; the leather was cold and irritated him whenever he ran out of blanket to lay on.

And it smelled weird. Too much like... well, someone else. It wasn't a _bad_ smell necessarily; actually, it was interesting to breathe in-- a strange spicy musk. Just difficult to get used to.

Sora had just resigned himself to sinking into the middle of the couch when Axel burst back in, smelling strongly of beer: he was dripping with it.

"Fuck... fucking freshman... assholes..." He was grumbling to himself as he stumbled around for a moment, not knowing what he was doing exactly. Then he stumbled into the edge of his bathroom door, cursing colorfully as he rubbed at his arm. "Fucking buckle..." Sora heard a soft thump as he kicked his jeans off, then a metallic click of a buckle. Axel re-emerged with a towel in hand, stripped down to his boxers. Sora pretended he was asleep, closing his eyes as he lumbered by, wiping himself off with his towel. It must have been one or two in the morning, judging by how much drunker the redhead was. Sora felt a stab of pity for him: someone must have spilled-- or thrown-- a beer on him. That was a fate no one should ever have to suffer through.

"Oh. Miyasaki... right..." Sora started a bit. Axel had flopped down to a crouch, grabbing at his blanket. The redhead tucked him in... or tried to. Mostly he just kinda tucked the blanket into the couch. "He's so cute..." Axel murmured next to his ear, breath heavy with alcohol. Sora's heart caught.

_He thinks I'm _cute_? Wow, we're both pretty drunk right now... _

…

_...does he really think I'm cute?_

Sora dared to open his eyes, seeing Axel's sharp green right in front of him. "You really think so?"

The lanky redhead laughed, smoothing back Sora's spikes. "You were the cutest guy at the entire party, Monster Mi-ya-sa-ki." He sang softly. "I'm glad you came."

Then suddenly Sora was kissing him.

The brunet had no idea why.

Axel was in his face, was _totally_ flirting with him (I mean, if _Sora_ could tell someone was flirting with him, they were being _way_ obvious.) and the redhead smelled really good under the dull smell of beer-- that same musk that was all over this room.

Sora had never even kissed a guy before. A girl, sure. A _guy_? But it was weird: he _needed_ this right now. He didn't understand anything. He just knew he wanted to kiss Axel right now.

But it was Axel who pulled back, startled and turning all sorts of reds. "G-G'night, Sora..." He leaned forward to stand, Sora looking at him blankly, lips slightly parted.

"Huh?" _Didn't he _just_ say I was cute? Wasn't he _just_ flirting with me?_

The dizzy-looking redhead was on his feet, an inscrutable expression on his face. Then he leaned down to emphasize his words. "Good ni--!"

Now before we go on, there's something you all should know about Sora. There's a different side to everyone, right? A bitchy side and a cheery side, a lonely side and a social side, right? Sora is a very cheerful, upbeat kid, but he has his dark side. His dark side only shows up when he's really tired, or really pissed. Granted, it takes a lot to piss him off, and the people who've seen his dark side pretty much amount to his parents, Roxas, and, rarely, his wrestling opponents(the ones who trash-talk, mostly. Calling Sora a 'shorty' is quite an unwise thing to do.) In short: his dark side was scary.

Sora dragged Axel down by the arm with all the wrestling strength he could summon. Axel squawked and just managed to flip himself around, landing on Sora as carefully as he could. The brunet was far from being careful, though.

"No way are you backing out on this." He hissed, making sure those green eyes were focused entirely on him. "Now..." He forced his hips into Axel's drawing out a groan from the redhead.

Now Axel was a horny drunk. He didn't usually go around flirting with people-- guys especially. But when all his inhibitions were stripped away... "You're going to finish what you started."

The redhead stared for a second, barely believing this was happening. He'd gotten laid before, but never like this, with someone so cute. _And so drunk..._ The back of his mind chirped. Axel cast the thought away. This cute guy was asking-- _demanding_-- to be fucked. This was so wrong--

Sora was hard by now, and then he ground into the redhead's crotch once again. Axel didn't need much more convincing.

"Don't have to tell _me_ twice..."

The moon glowed gently over Greek Row.


	26. Tears

Whew, that last chapter was tough to write... not that this one's lining itself up to be any easier...

Reviews, anyone? I really want to know what people think of these: no one's told me anything yet.

* * *

The door slammed open boisterously.

"Oi, Axel! Breakfa--..." Zidane's words just kinda stopped.

Silence.

"...Is that Monster Miyasaki?" The blond's eyes were wide, a weirded-out expression.

He stared for a bit more, making sure he was seeing this right.

The he closed the door quietly, muttering to himself. "You have weird taste, man..."

A flock of small birds was chirping outside, the quiet rush of cars echoing throughout the pretty-empty streets. The trees were shifting calmly in a gentle wind. Now and again footsteps sounded outside the window, a reminder that some people actually got up before noon.

Ah. Summer.

Sora drifted awake, his mind in a haze. Everything was warm and comfortable. He felt amazingly safe and nice, a spicy scent drifting into his nose. The brunet shifted a little: something soft was tickling at his face. He whined softly, his mind still slow and syrupy, and craned his head to the side, refusing to open his eyes. Ah. No more tickly-thing... he reached up to make his arm more comfortable, then brushed against something really warm. Sora's eyes opened blearily, squinting at the rays of light filtering through the blinds.

Red.

A whole lot of it.

Something warm and solid, curled on and around him.

And suddenly the haze dissolved as if it had been blown away by hurricane winds.

"_**HOLY SHIT**_!!!" Sora screamed, his eyes becoming massively wide.

The events from last night all came back in a rush. The grinding, the moaning, the nonsensical words pouring out, the wet kisses, the writhing, the arching, the sucking and licking, the super-intense pleasure, the hothot_hot_ feeling where he'd never been hot before. The brunet started screaming.

Axel woke with a start at the first expletive, eyes wide and confused for the two seconds it took for him to remember what had happened. Sora had backed up on his side of the couch, his face turning scarlet from panic, yelps tearing themselves from his horrified throat. He was totally naked.

"You asshole! HOLY FUCK! Gyaaaagh!!!"

It all hit Axel pretty hard. At once. Sora had never been banged by a guy-- maybe he was even a total virgin? _Had been. Was. He's not a virgin any more, in any case... _Green eyes went wide with horror.

_What have I done? _

_He trusted me, and... well to be fair, he's the one who made me... no. No one made me. I could have walked away, but...god, I was so drunk... we're both to blame, but I'm the one who's ultimately at fault. _ It was days like these when Axel hated alcohol with a fiery passion. Things like this wouldn't happen if he just refused to play that fucking drinking game, peer-pressure or no. At least he hadn't blacked out.

"I..." Sora was quiet for a second. "You..." Tears were forming in his pained sapphire eyes. Axel couldn't look away.

But nothing else came out... except the tears. Fat drops started their way down Sora's soft cheeks, leaving dark tracks, but the brunet was quiet. Axel's gut was twisting and turning. Now he knew what Roxas meant when the blond said he couldn't stand to see Sora cry. It was really getting hard to breathe around that lump forming in his throat.

"I'll... get you a towel..." He slowly made to move, making sure not to touch the other.

"No..." Sora breathed, so softly Axel wanted to cry. He met the other's eyes again. The brave little brunet was looking at him steadily, eyes so wide and hurt. "Don't leave..." He sniffled, tears dripping from his chin. The frat boy settled down, kneeling before him on the couch, making sure they were both modestly covered. _Though at this point I don't think it really matters..._

The most awkward silence Axel had ever been through descended upon them. Sora sniffled, closing those big baby blues with a whine of pain, tears falling to the blanket with a soft patter. He looked like an angel, the light reflecting off his hair just-so and lines of his skin illuminated just-so. Axel had never felt so attracted to a boy in his life, but he felt an angry twisting in his gut. _You have no right to touch him. Ever again. You sickening thing how _dare_ you even _think_ of touching him, after what you did last night. You polluted him; tainted him forever. Stupid frat boy. What about his feelings? He didn't want to give his only gift to someone like _you_. You had no right to take that from him._

"I'm so sorry..." Axel managed, swallowing painfully. "I... I don't know... I'm so... sorry..." Those beautiful blue eyes opened again, clouding over with tears.

"It's my fault, too. I came onto you..." He managed, avoiding his gaze with as much guilt as Axel was feeling right now.

"And I let you..." The lanky redhead couldn't find it in himself to look at Sora any longer, casting his green gaze to the side.

More silence. The pair found themselves looking at each other again, guilt and worry and _sadness_ etched onto their faces. Axel was too scared to touch Sora; Sora wanted to be touched, to be reminded that the person kneeling so close to him was human after all. Then the brunet swallowed audibly, lips trembling a little.

"Can I... clean up?" That caked stuff... down there... was making him uncomfortable. It was too-clear a reminder of what he'd just done.

Axel's eyes widened, feeling even more guilty, if even possible. "Y-yeah!" He tried to clear his throat, rising and making sure Sora didn't see him. The wrestler wrapped the blanket delicately around himself, then stepped lightly onto the floor--

Axel's heart broke at the sound that wrenched itself from Sora's abused throat; he caught him as he crumpled back into the couch. "Having a little trouble there?"

Blue eyes flashed with pride. "_You_ try getting something shoved up--"

"_Language!_" Axel forced an embarrassed laugh at the one-fingered salute pointed his way. Sora pouted, stuck for a solution. He was _not_ about to let Axel carry him to the bathroom, that was out of the--

"But anyways." The redhead made a silent apology to him, then wrapped his arms around Sora's middle and bodily carried the indignantly-squawking brunet to the tub, blanket and all.

"Sunuvabitch!" The wrestler whined, giving him a rough shove once he'd been gently deposited. He threw the blanket out bad-temperedly, then drew the shower curtain in so he wouldn't be exposed.

Axel snorted, playing along with the tough-guy act. "Take your bath or whatever, you baby." He went to find the brunet's clothes, closing the door behind him.

He slumped down onto his bed, scratching at the back of his head. _This is a shitty start to a new semester. _He chuckled at the thought, but the laughs died after a bit. Axel had fucked up. He'd fucked up _bad_. Sora was never going to forgive him. _Roxas _was never going to forgive him. _Stupid, stupid, stupid... _he rolled onto his stomach, wondering how the hell he was going to face Sora in the next couple minutes.

The redhead let himself drown in misery for another few seconds, then rolled back over, an idea forming in his head. Sora was content with his tough-guy act; why couldn't Axel play along? Yeah, that could work... Besides, he'd never be tempted to touch the brunet if he was hissing at him. He got up from the bed and got dressed.

Sora, meanwhile, was wondering how the tap worked. He had to sit down if he didn't want that blinding-muscle-soreness-unreachable pain to shoot up his spine. Oh. Here. Cold water started gurgling down into the tub, icy to the touch. Sora twisted the knob a bit-- the water warmed up and he sighed, sitting in the back of the tub where the water didn't reach yet.

Out of morbid, disgusting curiosity, he carefully reached down and ran a hand through the slimy mess in his nether regions. He looked at the off-white stuff, a little pink because of blood. It felt... like cake icing... Sora fought back a sudden wave of nausea, running his hand frantically through the lukewarm water to dispel the slime. _Gross gross gross I'm going to puke I just know it!_ But his heaving stomach didn't produce anything, and Sora could only lay down miserably in the warming water and hope the nausea would disappear. The door opened briefly and Axel tossed Sora's clothes near the tub, then closed it again.

The brunet's heart sank. _Wow. He doesn't really give a shit about me, does he?Then again, why should he? I'm the one who came onto him... stupid stupid stupid..._ He wondered how he was going to face Axel in the next few minutes.

The tub filled and Sora shut off the water, sinking into the warmth with an empty sigh. _I'm disgusting... so willing to get laid that I'd take it from _Axel. _Roxas would be devastated..._

The blond could never find out: he and Axel were such close friends! It would destroy him if he knew Axel had had sex with Sora. He'd probably assume Axel had been the one to initiate it.

"It's all my fault..." He moaned, tears starting again in his eyes.

Axel was listening on the other side of the door. He felt his own eyes start to prickle.

"Hey, Miyasaki." The redhead roughly pressed into his eyes. _I'm not allowed to cry. This isn't _my_ tragedy: it's his. _"I'll drive ya home when you're ready, 'kay? Just tell me when."

"Thanks..." Sora managed, sinking deeper until the water lapped at his chin. _At least he's being nice about it...suck it up, Sora! C'mon!_

A few minutes later, the brunet crawled out of the tub, managing to grab a towel before he dried himself sitting down. No easy feat. He slid his clothes on in the same manner, on all fours.

"I'm ready..." He called, taking a seat on the edge of the tub.

There was silence. Then Axel came in briskly, in a tee shirt and skinny jeans and scooped him up before the brunet could protest.

Protest he did, though, as the frat boy raced through the house as quickly as he could. "WHAT THE FUCK?!! AXEL, PUT ME DOWN! YOU SUNUVABITCH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Sora howled as the redhead carried him through the front door. Barefoot, Axel raced to his car, fumbling with his keys until he opened the back door and shoved the brunet roughly inside, then he went to his door and put his seat belt on.

"WHAT WAS _THAT_ FOR?!" Sora squawked, trying to right himself in the back seat, confused as all hell.

"Put your seat belt on. Hurry." Axel started driving.

"Seriously, what the fuck, Axel?" The enraged brunet yelped, once buckled.

"I don't think a lot of kids saw you: mission accomplished."

"Huh?"

"Sora...do you want everyone to know that you were fucked last night? I figured that was the best way to get you down: you can't even walk by yourself, I mean... jeezus..." He let his head come down on the steering wheel, stopped at a red light. "I'm sorry..."

Somehow, Sora understood. Axel had tried to save as much of his pride as he could, running so the frat boys wouldn't have time to see who was it exactly that was being carried in his arms bridal-style. He would never have been able to walk that.

"Thanks, Axel..." Sora whispered. The redhead was silent, but put his head back up as the light turned green.

"You live with Roxas, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Sora glanced out at his namesake as the redhead drove towards the little summer dorm Sora and Roxas were sharing. The sun was shining so brightly it kinda hurt, the sky a bare blue, the trees green and lush..._ Roxas'll know what to do..._

Axel carried him gently to the door; Sora was quiet, though his pride was raging underneath.

"Number thirteen, right?"

"Yup."

"Careful now..." Axel gently put him on his feet, holding him up just in case. The brunet winced, gasping a little, but bore down and managed to stay up. "You okay?"

"Fine." Sora stood, wincing. He swayed a little and Axel caught him, just in case. The redhead was so close... "Thanks Axel..." the brunet breathed, feeling his ears grow pink. _Why is he still so attractive now? I'm not drunk anymore, am I?_

"It's nothing..." The redhead seemed as unwilling as he to let go, supporting him gently. He suddenly hugged the little brunet close, breath coming hard. "_I'm so sorry, Sora..."_ Axel moaned quietly. "I hope you can... forgive me some day..."

Touch. Warmth. _He's touching me... he's so hot... _The little wrestler thought he was going to faint. _but... he'll never really want me when he's sober. This is just a special moment... I'd better cherish it..._ Sora's heart felt like it was twisting itself into knots. He had to let go, but Axel was so...

"I think you should go now..." He found himself murmuring, his lips so close to that lean neck...

Axel stiffened. "Right... yeah." Sora missed the warmth immediately as he backed off, leaving him to hold onto the railing for support. They stood awkwardly, not knowing what else to say, their minds so far, yet so close.

"Bye, Sora..." Axel tried for a normal smile, but failed quite well. If Sora noticed, he didn't tell.

"Bye, Axel..." Sora couldn't even pretend to smile as the redhead turned and drove away.

The brunet stood there, feeling very alone. A gentle breeze ruffled his mussed-up hair; a crow called in the distance. He sighed, turning towards the door.

"Sora?" Roxas questioned, the door opening. "Where were you last night?" He wondered, blue eyes bright and curious. Then he really looked at his cousin.

"Sora...?"

Tears started building up again. "Let me in before I make a fool of myself..."


	27. Foreign

Another story which has abso-fucking-lutely nothing to do with the title. :3

Roxas was still for a long time after Sora finished his story, eyes clouded.

The younger of the two was lost in his memories, but was also half watching him for a reaction.

"So it was Axel..." Breathed out, glad to finally know who had done it.

"Yeah..." Sora whispered, twisting to his side so he couldn't look at his cousin anymore.

He felt Roxas sit upright suddenly, the mattress dipping for a bit. A hand ruffled gently through his spikes, a sigh let out fondly. Sora frowned in confusion. _What's with _that_ reaction?_

"You guys... are idiots." A halfhearted chuckle escaped Roxas's lips. "So _that's_ why Axel always mysteriously avoids meeting you when I'm around..."

"Does he?" Sora croaked, his voice sore from crying.

"It's fun to watch: he comes up with any excuse as soon as he _sees_ you walking our way."

The brunet hummed, frowning.

Silence for a bit.

Then, "You aren't mad...? I thought you'd freak out at Axel..."

Roxas shrugged. "Both of you share the blame for it: it's not Axel's fault you're a horny drunk."

Indignant spluttering from the younger of the two as he sat up, blue eyes wide.

"I am not--... horny drunk...?"

"People's personalities kinda change when they get drunk. Besides the whole flopping-around thing and the passing out." The blond gestured lazily, something he'd probably picked up from hanging around his redhead friend too much. Sora giggled at the memory of the drunken girls they'd seen all over Greek Row. "Axel, like you, starts flirting when he's drunk, but he's usually not serious about it. Riku..." He snorted with laughter. "He starts lecturing people on stuff they don't give two shits about. Get's all brainiac on them. It's hilarious."

Sora laughed outright at the thought of a shit-faced Riku trying to explain some Economic theory. Curiousity pricked at him, and he turned to Roxas with a sly grin.

"What about you? I'm sure Riku's seen you enough times..."

"Oh, well..." Here Roxas started getting a sheepish look on his face. "I've been told I get, uh... _depressing_ when I'm drunk..." At this he avoided Sora's look, his ears turning pink. "Like, all existential and defeatist. Riku says he knows I'm too drunk when I start whining about how I don't deserve anyone's love."

"What the heck?" Sora frowned.

"I know, right?" His cousin shrugged, picking at a piece of his jacket. "I don't like drinking much, you can imagine..."

"Yeah..." The brunet drifted off, then stared back at him. "Hey, does that mean that whenever I get drunk I'm probably going to end up doing the same thing again?" Blue eyes were wide with horror. But Roxas dismissed it with a wave of his hand.

"Of course not. You're not _that_ stupid."

"Hey!"

"Just stating facts. Though..." Here the blond grew a bit somber. "I'd wanna make sure Axel knows you don't really blame him... he tends to take this stuff really personally."

Sora laughed suddenly; Roxas gave him a questioning look.

"It's fine: we're just assholes to each other. I figure he's fine if he can look me in the face and give me the finger."

"What kinda fucked-up logic is _that_?" Roxas demanded angrily. Sora seemed to realize this wasn't as funny to Roxas as it was to him. "You realize that if he got pissed off enough, he could _ruin_ your reputation?"

_Oh yeah. That._ The brunet blanched suddenly. Roxas realized the bonehead hadn't thought of it.

"Sora, Sora, Sora... what am I gonna do with you...?"

His cousin was still frozen with horror. "Holy shit..." He breathed. "He could be doing shit right now...oh my god, Roxas!" Blue eyes turned to blue. "My life is over!"

Roxas frowned. "No, I have ways of convincing him otherwise. Just don't--"

"Oh my god he's probably gonna find that picture of me from wrestling when I--" A hand clamped over Sora's mouth. Roxas was giving him _such_ a look.

"Sora, shut up."

The brunet complied meekly, eyes still wide with desperation.

Satisfied, Roxas finished his thought. "As long as you don't _try_ to piss him off, I don't think he'll try anything...and if he does, well..."

Dark clouds _must_ have been gathering around that blond head by now. Sora could _ see_ them.

"I have my ways." Blue eyes glinted.


	28. Sorrow

"_We pray for our sorrows to end, and hope that our hearts will blend. Now I'll step forward to realize this wish."_

Silence, then the small classroom erupted into applause. The lights turned back on, revealing a small group of about twenty-odd kids perched on desks and in chairs, chattering away.

Zexion stared for a minute, unsure of what he'd just walked into. _This _is_ Drama Club, right? Why were they watching a movie...? And why did they start so early?_ He let the door fall shut behind, him, starting when it closed with a violent-sounding bang. Oh great. Now everyone was looking at him. Zexion let his hair mask the blush spreading across his face. _Fuck._

He recognized a couple faces: Roxas, Kairi, Locke, Zidane, Belle, Celes, Vivi, Ashe, and a few others whom he couldn't put a name to. A friendly bunch, all, but not to him... already he saw a couple grimaces.

"What's _he_ doing here?" Zidane hissed to Locke behind a hand. The brunet shrugged.

Why was he here, again? Now was a great time to back out the door. Yep. Time to escape. He'd been humiliated enough for one day--  
"Where are you going?" Oh yeah. _That's_ why he was here. Zexion managed to drag his gaze upward, clutching his precious encyclopedia to his chest. Demyx was at the front of the class, holding a DVD.

"I...uh..." Zexion straightened, schooling his face into careful blankness. "I wanted to join this club... I thought it could be interesting."

Murmurs and skeptical looks from around the room.

"Seriously?"

"The World's Smallest Prick wants to be an actor now?"

"Probably needs to do research on drama or something."

"This is gonna be awkward..."

Demyx, however, was grinning brightly. "Really? Awesome!" Then he blinked, squinting at him for a second. He strode up to the little scholar, carving a way through the drama kids. "Hey..." The big blond was suddenly _very_ close. Zexion could smell him-- a scent of chlorine and musk; could see the stormy green irises and the messily-arranged dirty blond hair falling to his shoulders. Said eyes suddenly brightened.

"You're the guy we accidentally bashed with the ball! Oh my god!" He laughed, then cut himself off ashamedly. "You're okay, right?"

"I'm fine." Zexion was proud of how his voice didn't tremble even as the big blond was so close to him.

Demyx's smile was blindingly beautiful. "Cool! Welcome to KA's Drama Club! Have a seat!" He did an about-face, only to spin around again, looking sheepish. "Oh yeah. What's your name?"

Zexion fought a smile at the blond's antics. "Zexion Rosenthal. Data management major with a minor in lit."

"Also known as the World's Smallest Prick!" Ashe rhymed joyously, casting him a friendly grin. An ashamed chuckle spread throughout the room, some kids hiding smiles behind their hands. Zexion glowered, hating the name. The laughs died uneasily, Demyx wondering what had just happened.

"That's not very nice..."

"Neither's Zexion." Zidane had the gall to call out. This earned him a couple exasperated looks, but also some giggles. The big blond's smile fell, his eyebrows furrowing.

"I don't know what's going on, but give him a chance, guys, seriously--"

"I'll leave." Zexion offered, feeling that enough was enough. He shifted his grip on his tome, avoiding his eyes. Apparently this was just way out of his league. Demyx was way out of his league. There was no way this would ever work, was there? He wasn't a drama kid, and neither could he become one now that it seemed like everyone already hated him--

"No, stay!" A big hand fell to his shoulder, and Zexion looked up, startled. Those green eyes were pleading. _What the hell?_

"Pleeeease? We haven't gotten a new member since last year! It'll really help!"

Some snorts, then some tsks and eye-rolling from the rest of the class.

"Shut _up!_" Ashe hissed, shoving at Zidane. Strangely, she seemed to be in his corner for some reason. Zexion glanced over the rest of the class rather meekly, knowing he was in totally foreign territory. But... Demyx himself was begging him to stay. How could he refuse if he even wanted a _chance_ with the blond?

"Okay..." He met Demyx's look, nodding. He might as well have turned the light on in the room, for it was suddenly much brighter as the big blond grinned.

"Awesome! You're gonna love it! Have a seat!" Saying this, the swimmer left for the front of the class, leaving the drama kids to cast him a couple looks. It was quiet for a moment as Demyx rummaged for a whiteboard marker, no one volunteering to help the slate-haired boy sit. Finally, Roxas, one of the kids presently in Xemnas's class, waved uncertainly and patted the stool next to him. Hesitantly, the little scholar made his way to the seat, muttering a quick thanks.

Conversation started resuming among the drama kids, Demyx still having trouble finding the markers he wanted. Zexion put his book in his lap, laying his book bag down on the table. He sighed, nervously not meeting Roxas's eyes. The blond, however, wouldn't have any of this.

"Hey, you're the TA in Mansex's class, right?"

The little scholar snorted in surprise at the nickname of his professor. "Yes." He met Roxas's eyes, taking in the fact that the blond wasn't poking fun at him.

"Wow, _that_ must suck. You get a lot of shit for it, huh?" Roxas looked pointedly at Zidane.

"You get used to it after awhile." Zexion said quietly, smirking. "He just complains cuz he always sleeps in class, then has the gall to be surprised when he gets a bad grade on tests."

The blond smirked back. "I knew it. I hope I'm doing okay in it..."

"You're doing fine."

"How do you know? You don't seriously remember my stuff out of the hundreds, do you?"

"You're reasonably intelligent: there's a lot to remember." The little scholar retorted, smiling.

Roxas grinned happily. "Hey, thanks!"

Demyx finally found his marker and got the club's attention with a little clearing of his throat. "You know how it rolls, guys! Let's vote for the Winter Show! Any suggestions?"

Kids started excitedly calling out shows, none of which poor Zexion knew. But he noticed that Roxas was silent, too. A list started forming on the board, quickly filling it up. Roxas leaned over at one point. "I don't know any of these shows..." He murmured, looking sheepish.

"You're not alone." Zexion allowed himself a small smile. The blond smiled back in relief.

"Good to know. You know, I have a feeling we're gonna be friends whether we like it or not."

Zexion couldn't help but feel a little flutter in his chest. "Sounds good." _Friends _and_ a chance to get to know my love interest?Sounds _pretty_ good to me._

The class then started voting down the suggested shows, Demyx erasing some strings of words and leaving others up.

Roxas leaned his elbows on the table and cradled his head in his hands, looking sideways at Zexion. "So why'd you join? You don't strike me as the drama kid type."

_Oh. _He hadn't thought of a good excuse yet. Zexion blushed a little. "For a chance of pace, I suppose..."

He suggested weakly, averting blue eyes. _For a chance to get to know Demyx personally..._

"Uh-huh..." Roxas was _not_ buying it, but didn't press it, either. "Xemnas works you pretty hard, huh?"

The slate-haired boy suddenly buried his face in his hands. "Oh Shiva above, don't remind me... I still haven't finished grading those tests from yesterday..."

There was a brief silence from the blond. "Are you... his _only _TA?"

Zexion nodded.

"You're fucking _insane._ Holy shit, Zexion...you grade all those _by yourself_?!"

"No one else exactly volunteered..." The little scholar grimaced, exposing his eyes from his hands. There were only a few titles left on the whiteboard, the voting coming down to the last few.

"Shit..." The blond hissed in sympathy.

The two came to attention as the class came to a final vote. In the end, it looked like "Spring Awakening" had won out, a couple cheers coming from the club. Demyx beamed, then wrote something down on a pad of paper. He caught Zexion's visible eye and winked briefly, before turning back to the rest of the class. The little scholar felt another flutter in his heart. _Is he flirting with me? Or does he do that to everyone?_

Zexion noticed he'd probably been staring for a bit too long, as Roxas followed his transfixed gaze down to the blond.

"I see how it is..."

The third-year couldn't have whipped his head around fast enough. "Huh?!"

"You want _that_...don't you?" The blond pointed at Demyx, smirking. Zexion affected confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why are you in this club? You suck at acting-- anyways." the blond's smirk grew as Zexion's ears started turning pink. "Demyx. The big blond lummox over there. You've fallen for him, yeah?"

"Are you accusing me of homosexuality?" Zexion hissed, drawing himself up. _Shit, this kid is _far_ too sharp for his own good._

"Don't give me that crap." Roxas waved him off, eyes hard, yet light. Amused. Roxas was _amused_. Zexion had never felt so humiliated-- "I've been his friend for so long I can tell when people are crushing on him."

"Huh?"

"--And so, that's about it! Thanks for coming, guys! See you next week!" Demyx grinned, before turning to erase the whiteboard. Everyone got up to leave, the drama kids leaving in clumps. Roxas and Zexion lingered, though.

"I can help you out, if you want. You don't seem like an idiot, like most of the people who like him."

"I don't like Demyx!" Zexion hissed, turning even pinker. _I'm leaving--_

"I can help you _out._" Roxas repeated slowly, blue eyes boring into him. "Do you want him or not?"

The little scholar felt this was a turning point of sorts. He was quiet for a moment, wondering what Roxas had in mind-- and how the hell he'd managed to figure it out so fast. Should he accept the blond's help, not knowing whether he was actually going to help or not? His heart was pounding.

He wanted this. He wanted a friend, in the end.

He also wanted Demyx.

"I do... I want him..." He admitted, not meeting Roxas's triumphant look.

"Good. I figured as much. Hey Dem!"

Zexion felt himself blush from head to toe. _No fucking way is he about to tell him now, nonononono--_

The dirty blond looked up from packing his backpack, green eyes eager and curious. "Hmm?"

"Zexion's gonna stay! And he wants to walk home with us!"

"You're gonna stay?!" Suddenly the blond rushed forward and enveloped the little scholar in a bear hug, lifting him clear off his feet. Zexion squawked, his eyes widening impossible, cheeks pink. "I'm so happyyyyy! We finally got a new member!"

_He's hugging me he's hugging me oh my god he's so close I'm going to die of happiness right here and now-- _Zexion's breath came short.

"Wh-what are you doing?" He squeaked, his mind not exactly functioning at full capacity. The subject of his latest dreams was so warm and close and wonderful--Demyx stilled, then hurriedly dropped him like a coal. Zexion missed the contact immediately, curious when the blond backed off guiltily.

"Sorry! Sorry! I, uh-- yeah. I get excited sometimes." He grinned sheepishly, then turned to sling his backpack onto his shoulders. Zexion could practically _hear_ Roxas smiling wickedly in the background. "So where do you live?" Demyx asked, adjusting his stance. Roxas had latched onto his back like a koala; Zexion couldn't help but crack a smile at the sight. The three of them were walking along the quad, lit by orange streetlamps.

"I'm in an apartment with a couple other kids along the Gummi ship station. Next to the Coliseum." _Not that I really know any of said kids...we're just living together to make rent cheaper..._

"You live next to Roxy!" Demyx exclaimed, Roxas making a noise of surprise from his back. "He's in the Bailey dorms!"

"Oh? That's cool..." Zexion made a mental note of this. Maybe he and Roxas could walk to Xemnas's class together?

"We should take the bus together!" Roxas called from Demyx's back. _Holy shit is he a fucking psychic?_

"That'd be great." Zexion smiled, then shyly turned to Demyx. "Where do _you_ live?"

"Other side of campus." Demyx grinned from ear to ear. "I always walk Roxy home, though, cuz it's dangerous at night." He squeaked in mirth as Roxas cuffed his ear.

"He_ means_," The blond corrected, "that he loves me just that much. Don'tchoo?" He said in a dopey voice, mock-cuddling into Demyx's neck.

"Aw, I wuv yoo Woxyyy..." Demyx hooted back, then abruptly dropped him to the ground. Roxas squawked, grabbing at the blond's backpack.

The trio continued until they got to the Bailey dorms. Roxas exchanged a manly hug with Demyx, then grinned slyly at Zexion. "We'll talk later."

The slate-haired kid stared, then laughed outright. "We are _definitely_ going to be friends, Roxas."

The smaller blond left, walking jauntily. And that left a certain big blond...

"Want me to walk you home, too?"

The little scholar could barely meet his gaze, shy as he was around his crush. "Sounds good..."


	29. Happiness

Riku was happy.

Anyone who knew him well enough knew that is was _extremely_ difficult for him to get into this state. The poor kid was always running around, gray smudging the bottom of his eyes, sorting out this ASB event or another and generally looking like the most harassed, busy person alive. He had a GPA to maintain, he had a reputation to maintain, he had good looks to maintain, and he had the freaking associated student body of the entire thirty-thousand-odd Kingdom Academy to maintain. Riku had a tough life.

But he was also dating one of the cutest guys on campus. That tipped the scale.

They were on their third date. The first had been a nerve-wracking catastrophe that had ended with his date literally running from him as soon as they'd exited the restaurant. The second had been a little less nerve-wracking: Riku had been the one to stutter a bit as they talked over subway sandwiches. Now they were at the movies, or at least, waiting in line for it.

Why was Riku so happy?

Because Roxas was holding his hand. They were _holding hands_. The cute blond kid had really--

"Riku?" Said cute blond kid waved a hand in front of Riku's pink face. The silver-haired boy started, shaking his head of meticulously-combed hair slightly (he had good looks to maintain, remember?).

"Sorry, I've been a little tired lately. What was that?" A white lie. He was fucking bouncing off the walls in his head, like some teenage girl who'd just... well... not that he was a teenage girl or anything, of course.

A light snort. "You mean more than usual." The blond shyly squeezed his date's long fingers, nodding at the showings. "What are we even gonna see? We never figured it out."

"Uh, I'm not sure... you have any ideas?" Wellll, of course Riku had had his ideas. _Some romantic flick so we can have an excuse to maybe kiss in the end? Oh, no, better. A horror movie so he can grab my hand in terror and be all cute and scared and then I can swoop in and-- no, what if he digs horror movies? A cutesy slice of life movie, maybe...?_

"Let's see the new Disney movie."

Riku would have laughed, had he not heard the sincere tone in Roxas's voice. Instead, he quirked an eyebrow at the smiling blond.

"You mean..."

"Yeah!"

"The one that's rated G."

"...yeah..." Roxas noticed his tone and his enthusiasm died down. He shrugged, avoiding his eyes. "Or, we can see whatever, I guess... just throwing random ideas out there!" The shy smile was back.

Riku laughed, aqua eyes rolling. "You remind me waaaay to much of someone I used to know... he never got tired of Disney. Yeah sure. Let's go see it." He gave Roxas's hand a squeeze back, heart lifting a the way the freshman's face lit up.

"You'd seriously watch a _Disney_ movie with me?" The blond giggled. "You're a keeper."

_Wait, what_? "You mean you don't wanna see it?"

"Of course... not... not really..." Blue eyes avoided his guiltily. It was their turn for buying tickets. Riku strode up to the counter.

"One large popcorn, two small drinks, a bag of skittles, and two tickets to the eight o' clock showing for 'Up'." The silver-haired boy drawled, getting out his wallet. Roxas squawked.

"I was _kidding_! Rikuuuu!" He laughed, grinning, waiting for the second-year to order some other movie. The girl behind the counter filled up their popcorn tub, then their drinks. She was very clearly trying not to laugh.

"_I'm_ not." He handed Roxas a fresh ticket, then an ice-cold drink.

"I'm not seeing no Disney movie." Roxas was trying to affect a frown but it wasn't working.

"Yeah you are. Come on." Riku laid his unoccupied hand gently behind the little blond's back, turning him towards the theaters. They chose a seat somewhere in the back of the dim theater, not wanting everyone and their mother to see two college guys watching a Disney flick.

"I can't believe we're doing this..." Roxas was blushing as he took a seat.

"_You_ suggested it." Riku sang, depositing his skittles below his chair.

"You're a _douche._"

"So I've heard." Riku leaned over to hand Roxas the popcorn.

Roxas chose that moment to steal a kiss. On the cheek.

"You're cool.." The blond amended, hesitantly drawing away. Riku dropped the popcorn to the floor, drawing a hand behind the blond's head. They must have been centimeters apart, that point where you can only see the color of someone's eyes, really.

"I knew you'd like it."

Riku was happy.

Why was Riku so happy?

Because he was kissing Roxas.


	30. Under the Rain

_Fuck the rainy season... damn it all to hell! This sucks..._ Roxas growled, pulling his rain jacket closer to his body. It was pouring, the rain coming down in white sheets right before his eyes. He was at the bus stop again, but of course the damn thing was never on time...

"Of all the days to see her..." He scowled as the wind changed and blew cold drops onto his face. "At least it'll be inside."

It'd been two weeks since the new kid, Riku, had entered his French 300 class. Since then, he'd been surrounded by girls no matter where he went, whether he was at his seat-- he had yet to even give Roxas a glance-- or walking out the door. He seemed to have made friends with pretty much half of the class in less than a week. Why did he never even spare Roxas a look? Did he not receive the omg-look-at-me-you-gorgeous-thing vibes he sent him? Did he even know the blond existed? Did he care about anything without tits?

The bus crawled to a stop before him and Roxas stomped inside, taking a seat.

The situation had gotten pretty bad. Roxas didn't look at any other guys now. Before, he'd casually looked about the male population, maybe even attended gay rallies just to check out the crowd, but now he was spoiled for Riku. What was there to say? The silver-haired kid was _gorgeous_. And no guy who dressed that well and had his hair combed just-so every day could be straight, right?

...right?

Fat drops rolled slowly down the windows, the campus scrolling by.

The time had come for drastic measures. Yes. Drastic measures had to be taken. And what were said measures?

His stop finally came and Roxas fairly ran off the bus, nearly slipping on the sidewalk outside. Land of the Dragons came into view and he scrambled inside, glad to get out of the pelting rain.

"Roxas!" A pair of soft white arms threw themselves around him. The blond couldn't help the smile that reached his eyes. He hugged back gently.

"Hey Namine."

The two ordered their Chinese and sat down in a booth, cracking open their chopsticks.

"So, what's the big problem you so-desperately need my advice for?" His sister asked, taking up some noodles. "Don't tell me you finally found someone worth chasing after..." Big blue eyes regarded him cheerfully.

"Actually..." The freshman grinned sheepishly. The girl's eyes widened.

"Really?! Omigod! Who is it? Is he hot? He'd better be hot!"

"He's gorgeous, Namine, and I've never used that word before out loud."

The blonde leaned in, shoving her food off to the side, eyes keen. "Do tell."

"His name's Riku...he's got this really pretty silver hair and green eyes..."

Namine stilled, her eyes widening a bit. "Riku?"

Roxas blinked. "Yeah. Riku Kagemaru."

She visibly relaxed. "Okay." The blonde took another bite of noodles.

"Why?" Her younger brother eyed her curiously, blue orbs narrowed a bit.

"Different Riku." She shook her head, careful to not upset her beret. "Go on! What's he _like_?"

"Uh... he's president of the ASB... and he's apparently really smart. He's never sat next to me, though, so I don't know much else about him." The freshman shrugged, digging into his own food. "Oh. And he's always surrounded by girls. Is that a bad sign?"  
Namine shrugged. "Not necessarily. Maybe it's just because he relates to them better?"

"Or he's a playboy..." Roxas muttered, heart sinking.

"Maybe."

The two ate for a bit, each lost in their thoughts.

"Do you have a picture of him?" Namine asked once she'd finished her bite, leaning forward. Roxas brightened.

"Yeah!" He dug into his pocket and withdrew his cellphone, tapping at it for a moment. He started smiling and stopped tapping. It was a picture of Riku smiling at a joke that a girl in his class had made. Roxas had had his phone out, texting someone in boredom, and had reacted just in time to snap a shot.

_He's really fallen for this guy..._ Namine noted the expression on his face as he gazed at the picture. _I never thought I'd see the day when he'd get smitten like this..._  
"Here..." Roxas handed her the phone. Namine had to react fast to suppress the gasp that almost escaped her.

_He looks exactly like... wow...they can't be the same people, though. He wouldn't go to this school... He wouldn't beable to hang around girls like that... But this is uncanny. They look _exactly_ alike... I'm going to have to look into him..._

She 'oohed' and smiled cattily. "He's a catch... so what's the problem?" She handed him the phone back.

Her brother's face fell. "He hasn't even _looked_ at me ever since he entered the class... he's always surrounded by girls, so it's impossible to catch him alone. And he never sits anywhere _near_ me!" The blond finished sullenly, flicking at a piece of stray noodle. "I just want to get to know him, but..."

"But it's hard to single him out. Okay..." The blonde thought hard, delicate white eyebrows furrowing. Then she brightened. "You said he's the president of ASB, right?"

"Yeah. He's always rushing around everywhere--"

"That's perfect, then! All you have to do is get a messenger job at the main office. Those guys are always in contact with ASB. You're bound to meet him!"

Roxas made a face. "Messenger job? You mean, like, running notices everywhere and filing stuff?"

"You're bound to spend more time with him than you ever would without the job. Trust me. That guy's got almost no time for a social life."

"You sure?" That disgusted expression melted away into one of acceptance. "Messenger boy..." He murmured, wondering what the job would be like. His sister nodded confidently.

"Do you want to get to know him or not?"

Roxas was quiet for a beat. That job sounded really boring. But on the other hand...

"I do."

And so Roxas got the job. There were no other suckers who were willing to spend their day running back and forth between dusty office number one and moldy office number two. The freshman got to know the campus very personally. He even got unlimited access to the ASB offices-- of course, since it was part of his job. He took to skateboarding around, messenger bag in tow, a pile of papers clutched in his arms.

And some time in November, finally...

"Can I have your number?" He was standing in front of the subject of his fantasies, a pile of paper in one hand, his phone in the other. He couldn't look Riku in the eye. He was being so obvious!

But then he agreed! Riku had smiled at him-- _smiled_! And he. Had. Riku's. Number.

Roxas had fairly skipped out of the room, almost forgetting to grab his skateboard along the way.

The two got to know each other pretty well. At least, Roxas got to know each of Riku's favorite snacks, how to make his coffee, how to tell when he was getting too stressed out, which brand his shoes were, which brands of clothes he liked to wear, the times at which he slept, his busy days, his free periods-- yeah, Roxas was a total lurk by now. Shut up.

Often, the blond would stay in the room while Riku made his replies and filled out this signature and that approval form. He got to know the ASB room pretty well: a boring, cookie-cutter system of cubicles, decorated with spritzes of red and black, the school colors. Strings of Christmas lights were dangling between and around cubicles, giving them a more comfortable, friendly feel. This month, little garlands of leaves and stuffed turkeys with pilgrim hats were stuffed into corners and thrown across most accessible surfaces. There was a whole cubicle dedicated to huge rolls of differently-colored paper and massive markers: the sign room. Of course, they also had a section for printers, which Riku was always handing Roxas money to go buy ink for. The ASB leader never questioned when a dollar or two went missing, especially if said money had gone into buying him more coffee. And if Roxas came back with a couple crumbs dotting his cheeks? Riku would point it out briefly, then go about his business. They two never really had time to chat, but sometimes, when there was a lull as someone had to go print out some form or another, the two would sit at his desk. Sometimes Riku would go over the French homework with him, now knowing that the blond's Canadian heritage helped boost his grades in the class. Sometimes Roxas would quietly let Riku rant about how his job absolutely sucked and thank you for being the only person who does their job right and--

"Mint?" Roxas offered a little white disk, knowing Riku liked this brand.

Other times, the blond kinda just didn't wanna hear it.

The silver-haired boy stopped mid-tirade, shocked at the interruption. The freshman wondered at first if he'd gone about the wrong way about calming him down. Then Riku started laughing, holding out his hand to accept.

"Thanks, Roxas. You're a life saver..."

"I can get you some of those, too." The blond grinned slyly, getting more laughs out of his crush.

About three weeks after he got the job, Riku asked him out.

The rest is history.


	31. Flowers

_Some god, somewhere, is either guiding me or laughing hysterically at me._ Cloud had decided this a long time ago, but the phrase came back to his mind suddenly. The blond tapped his pen idly onto his textbook as Riku graded another one of his mini-quizzes. The weather was actually decent outside for once: a strange thing to see in Radiant Garden's rainy season. The sun cast bright rays through the stained glass windows of the Great Library, throwing shades of purple and green and blue across the desks and tiles. The library was quieter than normal.

That's because most people were outside. Playing frisbee. Dicking around town. Going for a run with friends. And where was Cloud stuck?

Inside a stuffy library. With his calculus tutor.

Okay, okay, the library wasn't that bad, sure. It was nice and cool all the time, at least. His tutor was rather attractive, and he wasn't bad company either. But still--!

"Are we almost done?" Cloud asked quietly, slumping onto the desk. Green eyes regarded him exasperatedly, gleaming dully through a sheet of silvery-white hair.

"Almost. Dude, why'd you come if you didn't wanna study? You could've canceled..." Riku was annoyed. Paine and co. had been planning to go out to Twilight Town for the day and he'd had to refuse due to his tutoring schedule. And Cloud didn't want to be here, either. So why were they here?!

The third-year picked at his eraser idly, light brows furrowed. His friends were probably already on the train: there was no hanging out with them now. His student seemed equally put-off, though.

A sigh. "Screw it. Let's go do something." Riku closed his textbook with a dull thump, then started packing away his things. Blue eyes widened slightly and the Midgarian did the same, eager to see the outside. But... the blond paused, sparing a glance at Riku.  
"'Do something'?" He repeated, not sure what the other had in mind. Riku shrugged, combing absently through his hair.

"Sure. Go screw around town, ya know? Something." He slung his bookbag over his shoulder, standing.

Deciding he had nothing better to do... and no one else to hang out with, Cloud followed him out the library. Riku paused out the doorway, looking around. The blond hung out a little away from him, burrowing his face a little into his turtleneck.

_It's cold here... way colder than Midgar ever got..._ He hadn't heard of the weather up here-- hadn't bothered to look through any almanacs, exactly. Now he wished he'd brought a few more long sleeves. _Oh well_... Icy blue eyes shifted over to a certain silver-haired third-year. He'd been quiet for too long.

"What's up?" He murmured, looking out across the quad to see if anything had caught his eye. Riku shook his head a little.

"I was thinking."

"Oh. Did it hurt?"

"Ha ha." Riku deadpanned. "Mr. Can't-Integrate-Jack-Shit..."

"Go on." Cloud grumbled back.

Riku smiled, shaking his head. "I'll show you around, if you want. Unless you've already got the hang of this place."

The blond relented a bit. That was kind of embarrassing... having someone show you all the sights. His masculine pride was totally against this. But on the other hand, he didn't know Radiant Garden at all save for the university area. He'd heard about the biggest castle in the world, and how it was being slowly deconstructed because its foundations were rotting. He'd seen the monstrous castle from the gummi ride, but other than that... the city he was in was a mystery to him.

It would be good to know the area. "Sounds good." Cloud shrugged, affecting an air of indifference. "I've always wanted to check out the castle, anyway."

"Hollow Bastion, you mean? There are couple castles around here, but the biggest one-- "

"That one."

"Hollow Bastion it is, then." His tutor smiled, heading down to the quad.

They took a bus across town, the best way to travel around Radiant Garden. The main line went through all the attractions of the town. Radiant Garden was basically a town built in the middle of a bunch of canyons. A roaring river flowed around the town, then sped into the ocean a couple miles off. It had been built ages ago: back in medieval times when magic had still existed. Radiant Garden was a castle town, blue cobblestones paving the street, tightly packed buildings looming over the streets, giant stone arches giving way to hidden gardens and elegantly-tiled courtyards. Most of the buildings to this day still had wooden rafters and shingles, and some of the wells built in those medieval times were still being used.

Hollow Bastion was the centerpiece of the town: it was hard to look up anywhere and not see part of its massive towers that dwarfed the little red cranes trying to take it apart. Everyone was a little disheartened to see it being demolished: the castle was a masterpiece of architecture and fine craftsmanship. God knows how long it had taken to build. It had taken years to map out its hallways and hidden machinery parts.

Kingdom Academy had actually been built below the castle long ago, and its main subject of study was magic. Some of the magic had leaked out from some of the pipes, blue sparks and shimmers blasting the night like silent fireworks. The caverns and water-caves below were spelled with magic: the water defied gravity and some rocks floated up and down at strange intervals. People had considered making it a tourist attraction: magic was a rare find, but certain disaster always befell the people who'd tried to cut into the rocks to make safe passageways. To this day, there was a very uncertain idea of how magic worked. The most famous graduates of KA could never answer a straight question about magic, most simply saying it would always be unexplainable. Maybe they were right. It seemed to spring from the strangest sources.

Midgar actually used magic as energy in the form of mako. Little glowing spheres called materia were condensed versions of magic: they were used for everything from weapons-making to healing to attracting chocobos back to their pens. The mako-magic was mass-produced and available to everyone for their own needs.

In Hollow Bastion, though, the magic was of a different caliber: it was raw and unrefined, shimmering and untouchable. The people who tried harnessing it got changed in weird ways: some lost their minds completely, some hallucinated for periods of time, some found immense strength, some came away with amazing luck, and some developed sicknesses that seemed to emerge from their body itself. No one could ever find the source: going through the pipes was the road to disaster, as no one had really figured out how they randomly snakes through the castle walls. Some KA graduates theorized that the magic sprang from certain golden diamonds found throughout the castle, while others thought it came from the ground itself below the castle, much like a well. Point is, Hollow Bastion magic was unpredictable and wild: something that only insane adventurists would dare to trifle with. A few people died each year on stupid dares and fraternity hazings, so the castle was solidly blocked off from the general public.

And so Cloud was a little disappointed when they reached the main castle area. He'd been excited to see all the magic effects up front --to see all the castle in its postcard-glory. No such luck.

The bus ride had been unexciting for Riku. He'd been living here for years: ever since freshman year of high school, because that all-boys academy had been within a short train ride from Twilight Town. He'd been visiting the castle on and off and knew the area like he knew the back of his hand. He'd gone exploring down to the depths of castle, hopping over the fences and snaking himself through the wiring that was meant to keep intruders out. Truth to be told, he'd been in contact with magic before. The silver-haired kid had come away with no change, as far as he could tell. No one around him had ever told him he'd been acting strangely. He hadn't suddenly become a powerhouse or suddenly did extremely well on multiple choice tests. The silver-haired boy seemed to be unaffected by magic, it seemed. He hadn't told anyone this, knowing what their reactions would be. His parents would have told him off and banned him from ever seeing the site again, and they would have taken him to dozens of analysts, convinced there was something awry.

Riku liked the castle more than most. It hurt him to see it fall to pieces year by year, but it was true that the foundations were rotting: he'd seen the frozen rock crystals turn black and green with the slow passing of years. Looks like the magic that had kept them fresh was finally running out.

Radiant Garden wasn't wasting a bit of it, at least. The golden pipes went to reinforce the town's gas and plumbing systems, the pink marble to build halls and new buildings, and even the rusting grates and bars throughout the lower regions of the castle were being refurbished or melted down. The cathedral was actually being carefully taken apart piece by piece and was going to be put back together somewhere downtown-- Kingdom Academy's Great Library had been built in the same manner. All the chandeliers and precious vases and statues were being locked into the museum. The only problem now was to figure out how to delve into the magic-protected chambers that doubtless held even greater treasures. Expeditions had been held to break in, but, as stated above, nothing ever went well when it came to Hollow Bastion magic.

The bus stopped off at the lower area of the castle, towards where there had been a plethora of secret passageways and sliding doors among the water. It was all gone now, with only an ancient rune carved into the blue rock floor remaining. Beyond the mess of rocks and rubble, though, was the blocked-off area with the floating rocks and golden diamonds.

Riku had gone there before... at night. When no one was looking. He'd been ballsy enough to actually reach out and touch one of them, back in his last year of junior high. The diamonds had started glowing, faint purple and blue strands of magic wisping around him. He'd freaked the fuck out and had run from the place, the diamond returning to its regular golden color, the magic haze dimming down. He hadn't returned for awhile, scared stupid that he'd done something horrible to his body. He'd gone back a couple months later, curious. Nothing had happened to him.

He approached the diamonds again, touched the same one he had so many months ago. Again the magic started up again and he'd flinched as the colorful tendrils of power had circled around him. Riku was stupidly curious, he'd admit it. A blue wisp of the sparkling stuff had reached out to touch his face: he had felt a warm pleasant shock radiate out from his cheek. Then he'd fainted.

Blacked out.

He didn't remember anything else about that night.

But he did wake up the next morning...

...in the cathedral.

It had to have been the scariest morning of his life. The cathedral cast this eerie bluish-green light through its stained glass windows. It was absolutely dark and cold there, empty and creepy. The dragon statues had been glaring at him as he had woken up, groggy and confused. The floor was cold, and he'd gotten up in a panic, wondering where the hell he was. He'd never been to the cathedral before and had downright panicked. Was he even in Hollow Bastion anymore? What if the magic had transported him to the other side of the world? Cold and shivering, the silver-haired kid had wandered around helplessly, anxiously pushing open doors to see where they lead. He'd gotten hopelessly lost.

"Hello?! Anybody here?!" He cried, his voice echoing throughout the icy marble place. At one point, he'd pushed open a door that had lead to a very strange sight. It was a throne room, it looked like. And beyond the curving staircases lined with golden pipes and grotesque statues, was a shimmering, color-shifting... _thing._ It looked like a portal from a sci-fi flick, shifting colors and glowing, but shaped like a heart. Riku had walked up the staircase, giving the fountain at its base a wary look. The portal was massive and filled with reds, greens, purples... but the vibes it gave off made Riku's hair stand on end. The boy didn't dare come any closer, deciding that trifling with more magic wouldn't help him get out of here any time soon. Instead, the boy turned and went back to the cathedral.

He'd tried to pull open the back door, but it must have weighed half a ton at least. The handles were locked in place, unmoving even as he tugged and cursed and sweated away. After a minute of useless tugging and swearing, Riku fell to his knees, crying in frustration. He'd never see any of his loved ones again. He'd never be able to see the real light of day again. He'd been such an idiot, touching the stupid magic diamond...

Riku despaired.

Then he started glowing green. Shadows pooled around his feet. Black, willowy tendrils started creeping up his pants.

_Oh... you're the fake one. _

The darkness fucking _talked!_

He freaked the fuck out, running back to the middle of the cathedral where he'd woken up. The tendrils followed him like a wolf, preying into his shadow, crawling over his hands. _Going somewhere, Riku? _Riku backed up panicked into the stained glass light of the cathedral. All at once, the darkness dissipated like so much smoke. Dead silence.

Was it over...?

The eighth grader curled his knees into his chest, breathing hard, sobbing. This was fucking crazy. He was dreaming, right? He kept alert for signs of that... darkness... tentacley-thingy! A minute passed. Two. Riku relaxed best he could. This _had_ to be a dream. There was... just no way...

"That's the door to the outside... I just know it..." He mumbled to himself after a moment, gazing sadly at his bruising knuckles and the blisters on his palms. Then he glared at the door for awhile, squinting to see the shadowy entrance through the golden dust motes floating in the light of the stained glass. If he went out there, would those creepy black things come back? Not that he had a choice: he had to get outta here. The kid steeled himself, getting onto his haunches.

"Okay...here goes nothing..." Riku leaped out from the light into the darkness. He could sense the creepy black things starting up again, but he ran for the door and started pushing. Christ, it was heavy. It didn't move for a moment and Riku's heart almost failed him: the darkness was at his feet. _Don't look down, don't look down... _Then suddenly, the door started giving way, creaking like an old boat. The tendrils were wrapping around his knees. _Don't look down don't look down--! _Panic seized him and he pushed harder, grunting with the effort to slide the massive door open just a couple feet more. He felt cold from the waist down. _Don'tlookdowndon'tlookdowndon'tlookdown-- _He looked down. He was black from the waist down; his body was disappearing. Riku started pressing into to the door with all his weight now. _I'm going to die not knowing what the fuck happened to me!_

Finally, a crack of light seeped out from the door. The silver-haired boy's heart soared and he redoubled his efforts. Just as the darkness started touching at his shoulders, the door suddenly gave way like it had been oiled. Light, pure morning _light_, flooded over Riku. The darkness vaporized; he got feeling back into his body, stumbling into the outside.

Aqua eyes gazed around dazedly. Those pinkish clouds... that blue landscape... he was still in Hollow Bastion. Relief buckled his knees and he fell to the ground in a silent heap, gazing sleepily out at his home. Riku knew where he was now. That area with the floating rocks and the gold diamonds. Basically a walkway with an ornate railing. A seagull wheeled out from one of the towers, whining as it swept down to the ground.

Riku could have cried in happiness, but, being a guy, he didn't. Not really, at least...

"Riku? You okay?" Cloud waved a hand in his face. The third-year blinked, then gave himself a little shake. They were walking along the bailey now, heading towards the marketplace.

"Yeah. This place brings back memories, that's all." Riku smiled faintly. Cloud nodded.

"I know the feeling."

They came to Scrooge's Ice Cream parlor, a place Riku insisted was a vital part of the tour. Cloud relented, not wanting to be caught in an ice cream shop. The silver-haired kid all but dragged him in. In the end, they both got sea salt popsicles, the blond looking like he _really_ didn't want to try it. The cashier gave Riku a curious smile. "That was fast. Seconds already?"

Riku gave her a weird look. "Uh..." He handed her munny.

"Didn't you come in like, five minutes ago?" She wondered, punching in buttons. Riku shook his head slowly, pocketing his wallet.

"No, we just got here."

The cashier looked confused. Then she shrugged. "My mistake. Have a nice day"

"That was weird." Cloud commented, looking suspiciously at the blue popsicle. He had yet to try it.

"Yeah, huh...makes me wonder how many others kids are running around with hair like mine." Riku bit off a corner, munching thoughtfully. They wandered through the marketplace, idly glancing at the shops. Apparently there was a fall sale going on and the place was more crowded than usual. A moogle vendor was selling little trinkets and charms it swore would help defend someone from harm. The accessories store had a couple racks out displaying ornate jewelry, and next door to it was a little kiosk selling hand-knit hats and gloves. The official Hollow Bastion store was always stocked with souvenirs and pocket-sized replicas of the jewels and statues that had been found inside the castle; Cloud thought about going in to have a look. Souvenirs weren't really his thing, but maybe the guys back home would like it... Riku went off to the accessories store to browse through earrings as he went inside. The Midgarian took the moment to throw away his ice cream-- it probably tasted like crap.

It was crowded inside the souvenir store, tourists and locals alike browsing through the pieces, trinkets, and postcards. Cloud kind of liked the little gargoyles, and the little snow-globes with golden glitter were cool, too. He got to a collection of pictures of Hollow Bastion, photographed before they had decided to take it apart. The oldest one, a picture of the castle at dawn, complete with pink clouds and blue spritzes of magic shooting from the piping, tugged at his heart. It was beautiful. Why would anyone ever want to take it down?

Then again, he reflected on what he'd learned in his history class. The castle had been taken over by evil forces for decades and the people who had lived here now thought of it as the symbol of evil. It would be no surprise that they wouldn't hesitate to take it down once they'd found an excuse to.

_It's still a shame, though. Riku seemed to like it..._

He flipped through a couple more pictures. Photos of the magicked corridors and passageways, of the great chandeliers, the haunting cathedral deep inside, close-ups of the magic diamonds that seemed to power most of the magicked stones, golden statues of grotesque demons and gargoyles, and... the Great Library? Did Kingdom Academy's Great Library come from Hollow Bastion? _You learn something new every day._ The blond thought idly, picking up the picture book. He was buying this one.

Riku was waiting outside for him when he came out with a small paper bag. He showed off his new earrings, grinning. They were little dragons on crosses with blue crystals set into the pommels. Cloud couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

"They're called Soldier Earrings. Neat, huh?"

"You look incredibly gay with those." The blond deadpanned, folding his sack into his book bag with a crinkle. Riku was silent. The blond looked up, wondering if he'd stepped on a landmine.

The silver-haired boy's eyes were clouded. "You say it as if it's a bad thing..." He mumbled, turning from him.

Blue eyes widened. _He's gay?! Shit, and I was joking, too..._ Now he felt bad. Never talk sexuality with a guy.

The pair was silent as Riku took them to the new Radiant Garden park, at the edge of the castle town. It had been built on one of the turrets. Here it looked as if parts of Hollow Bastion had been used to make slides and play structures. The irony was amazing.

Greenery. The park was actually filled with grass and trees and flowers, unlike most of the barren cement streets of Radiant Garden. Riku sat at a bench near the border, close to a patch of red flowers. Cloud tried to catch his eye but it became obvious that he was avoiding eye contact. Blue eyes rolled briefly. _What a girl..._ The blond stood around for a moment, unsure of what to do in this kiddie park. Then he sighed and took a seat near Riku. Ignoring people in need wasn't his style, anyway.

"They're cool, actually. Your earrings..."

Riku raised an eyebrow at him. "You don't need to lie to make me feel better." He said a little coldly. Cloud inwardly winced. His tutor was pissed off. He tried another tact.

"I don't care that you're gay." He said honestly, looking down at his feet.

This seemed to work. Riku's eyes softened a bit in surprise, but he stayed quiet, looking out at the castle in the distance. Cloud took out his picture book and started flipping through it again, figuring Riku would stay quiet for awhile longer. He looked at the picture of the still-whole Hollow Bastion and tried comparing it to what was left now. They'd done quite a number on it, actually. He felt eyes on him and looked up to see Riku staring fixedly at the picture.

"You know, the only reason they haven't torn it down completely by now is because of the magic."

"Hollow Bastion magic..." Cloud murmured, looking curiously at the spouts of the bluish stuff. Riku nodded.

"It's unpredictable..." His voice went soft by the end. The blond cast him a sideways glance. His heart gave a twist-- Riku was fucking hot when he looked like that. His wind-tossed silvery-white hair, his keen aqua eyes as he gazed out at the castle, his lips slightly parted. Even that gaudy earring added to his allure--

_No. My mind did __**not**__ just go there. Riku, a __**guy,**__ is not alluring. I've been up late studying too much if my eyes are doing this to me._ He made himself look at the flowers just beyond their feet. _Aerith. Right. I'm supposed to be getting over her, not checking out fucking __**guys**__. _Cloud was no homo. As girly as Riku looked and sometimes acted, he was _not_ a girl, and therefore--

"You okay?"

Cloud made the mistake of looking Riku in the eyes. _Fuck. He's beautiful. What the flying fuck is wrong with me?!_ _Why am I checking out guys?! This is stupid! _

"I'm fine..." He managed, not looking him in the eye again. Bad idea, that. At least Riku was oblivious as all hell.

"Wanna head back? The bus leaves in about ten minutes." Riku sat up, looking at his watch. Cloud nodded, putting his book away. "I got a secret way of getting back to the bus stop. C'mon." He grinned, gesturing at his student to follow. The silver-haired boy lead them down a trail of rubble, solid enough to walk on, to an area that was probably supposed to be blocked off. It was magicked, the water flowing from the bottom of the spring to the top of the wells with blue floating rocks to clamber over. The third-year started climbing the rocks, careful to not get his shirt too dirty. Cloud followed suit, wondering why Riku would choose such a path that was supposedly a "shortcut". Finally, the two got to the rune carving, where they'd started.

"Look down." Riku pointed. Cloud followed his gaze. The magicked water made for a hauntingly beautiful effect as it flowed over the tops of the rubble to pour down to the rivers and canyons below. The clouds were pinkish orange, as the sun was about an hour from setting, and the blue rocks seemed to shimmer with the untamed Hollow Bastion magic. Cloud wasn't one for "pretty stuff", though.

"That's cool." The blond shrugged. Riku's face fell for a moment.

"Be that way." He sniffed, heading towards the bus stop.

Cloud had a hard time keeping a straight face. _Riku isn't a cat. He's a __**girl**__._

A/N Sorry if that was a little much. I've always wondered what Radiant Garden did with the remains of the castle. In the first game I fell in love with the library section and I thought it was a shame they had taken it down. I miss Hollow Bastion: it was fun to explore.


	32. Night

THIS CHAPTER IS RATED 'M' FOR... uh... LEMON. IT SUCKS. BUT READ IT ANYWAY. (I'm so embarrassed...)

And look out for a "The Writer" reference I sneaked in here. She's another one of my favorite authors: great for comedy.

* * *

"Rikuuuuu! Stop being so slow!" Roxas whined, twisting a bit.

"Oh, you know I just love dragging this all out--"

"Seriously! Move!"

"This is comfortable for me, thanks."

A huff. "I'll do it myself then--"

"No wait! I was kidding!"

"C'MON ALREADY YOU STUPID LOVEBIRDS! WE'RE GONNA LEAVE YOU BEHIND!" Demyx yelled back at them over the too-loud ghoulish music.

"Yeah, _Riku_. Let's finish this stupid haunted house thing before the park closes." Roxas grabbed his boyfriend's hand and dragged him bodily forward, the third-year practically digging in his heels. The silver-haired kid was very obviously enjoying this part, where it was all dark and Roxas was lagging behind with him and--

"We're going to lose them, Riku." Roxas stated mock-patiently.

"That's fine with me, Roxy. Now I can have you all to myself." The upperclassman wriggled his hand out of Roxas's grip, instead following closely at his side. He chose the moment to re-adjust Roxas's paper mask. The blond sighed, stopping long enough to glance over Riku's white wolf costume. The silver-haired kid was all in white, with a pair of snowy ears and a tail. Roxas had a home-made costume he'd dubbed the "Boogeyman" with no other ideas as to what to call it. It looked like something out of the Nightmare Before Christmas. He'd made a similar one for Sora and last year they'd gone trick-or-treating together, blue eyes bright compared to the dark makeup covering their faces.

Roxas noticed that Riku's white-gloved hand was trembling slightly. He frowned, taking said hand from his mask.

"You okay?"

Riku nodded, taking his hand back and moving forward. "Fine. Just a little hungry."

Roxas caught up, taking it again. "'Kay." He flashed him a vampire-toothed smile.

A shriek burst from somewhere in the haunted house, probably some girl who'd gotten her ankle grabbed. They passed through a couple corridors without incident, Roxas noting with amusement the 'bloody' writing on the wall and the skeletons scattered everywhere. The place was illuminated by black lights and the occasional strings of orange Halloween lights. Overall Roxas didn't find it that scary. The ones at the frat houses-- now _those_ were scary--

Riku let out a cry, jumping to the side. He was looking frantically at an opening in the corridors where someone had grabbed at him. Roxas laughed.

"Scaredy-cat."

Riku muttered something, kicking bad-temperedly at a browned skull. The blond frowned. That was unusual. Riku wasn't seriously scared, was he? This was such a stupid, predictable haunted house... They came to an area that was covered by a black tarp, the inside absolutely dark. There was a sign in neon that glowed because of the black lights: "Time to Crawl". Roxas groaned. The whole "crawl onto creepily squishy things and moving objects that are meant to freak you out". Weak. Been there, done that.

Riku suddenly bent down to kiss him. Roxas pushed him off a little. "What the heck's _wrong_ with you? Wrong place, wrong time!"

"Sorry. You just looked so cute for a second..." \Riku grinned, a gloved hand to his mouth. The blond couldn't help but blush, the darkness of the room concealing his expression wonderfully.

"Horny idiot..." He knelt down and started crawling through the space. Squishy thing here, moving thing there, burst of air here, weird sound effect there... he was kind of glad he couldn't see anything. Roxas got out pretty quickly, rising to his feet and dusting off his hand and knees. There was the exit, just around the corner. He waited for Riku, absently checking his watch and wondering whether Demyx and Zexion had bothered to wait for them. _Eh. They're probably making out in some corner out there...if Zexion finally grew the balls to make his move._ His thoughts wandered to later tonight, after they went home. Riku seemed pretty horny today, so tonight would certainly be interesting... though he'd probably have to borrow his toothbrush again. That was gross. As much as he loved Riku and all his scents and quirks, he didn't relish the idea of sharing a toothbrush with him. Speaking of which...

He knelt down in front of the tarp area. "Riku! Hurry up! Did you lose you ears or something?" The blond hollered, irritated. About five seconds passed with no reply, then suddenly Riku rocketed out from the tunnel, breathing harshly into Roxas's collared shirt. Wetness leaked through to his skin. Riku was crying, shivering and wet and shuddering with each breath.

The blond was silent with shock, holding his boyfriend as he cried into his chest. Riku... didn't cry. It just didn't happen. He was always so strong and charming, quick to have a retort, quick to cheer up any situation... Why was Riku crying? What the fuck had happened in that tunnel that Roxas had missed?! What could make him cry?! He stroked that silvery head, rubbed at his back. Better yet: what could he do to make him stop crying?

With all these questions burning in his mind, the second-year drew back a little, not releasing Riku a bit. "What's wrong, Riku?"

Nothing but sniffles and heartbreaking whines from the third-year, who just pushed harder into Roxas. "Please tell me... let's move out of the way first, 'kay?" At least Riku could do that. The pair went to the corner of the haunted house, so Riku wouldn't have to be seen like this. Roxas hugged his boyfriend for the longest time, just wishing Riku would tell him what the hell was _wrong_.

"I'm afraid of the dark..." The werewolf-dressed boy whispered after a moment, turning his face up to meet Roxas's eyes. "Always have been..." His beautiful eyes were pained, hurting, scared witless. "...I can't help it... I hate the dark. That nightlight I have? It's not just for 'mood-lighting'. I _need_ it if I wanna sleep..." He started rambling, breaths shallow. "I'm sorry! I tried to distract myself by kissing you but it didn't work and now--"

Roxas shushed him gently, brushing damp silvery strands from Riku's face, brushing tears away with his thumbs. Slowly, gently. Riku's breaths slowly became less violent as the blond laid gentle kisses anywhere and everywhere he could reach. "You're so brave..." The blond told him, drawing a lock of hair behind his ear. "Thanks for telling me, at least. I'm glad you finally told me..." He took Riku's wolf ears from the slowly-unclenching hands and placed them delicately back on his head. "I won't leave you behind again, okay?"

He sat back onto his haunches, cupping Riku's face. "You ready to go? Zex and Dem are waiting."

"...Yeah." The third-year wiped his tears away with the back of his gloves, busily adjusting his ears. He stole a kiss from Roxas as he stood, smiling. They walked hand in hand back outside the haunted house, into golden lamplight and a crowd of people in costume.

"Riku! Roxy! What took you so long?!" Demyx smiled, a bag of fresh kettle corn in his arms, Zexion in tow. To Roxas's disappointment, Zexion wasn't holding Demyx's hand yet, nor did Demyx look like he'd been kissing anyone recently. Roxas quirked an eyebrow at the little scholar, who turned his gaze away, blushing.

"Riku's allergies started acting up." The blond lied smoothly, pointing to his boyfriend's reddened eyes.

Demyx hissed in sympathy. He was dressed at Rick Astley for Halloween, rick-rolling people when they asked what his costume was. Zexion had dressed up minimally, not being one for costumes, but wanting Demyx to approve: he was a vampire. A cape, a little eye-shadow, fake fangs: done.

"Dust?" The little scholar asked, wincing.

"Yeah. My eyes start getting all red n' stuff." Riku went with it, looking mock-abashed.

"'Aight." Demyx smiled good-naturedly and looked to Zexion. "What's next? Is there a ride we haven't tried yet?" As the slate-haired man took out the park map, Roxas gave Riku's hand a squeeze. Riku smiled, squeezing back with a wink.

Seeing as it was Halloween night at Neverland, the theme park had been transformed from a pirate island to a haunted pirate island. They called it "Horrorland" at this point. Everything was a _lot_ scarier than what people gave it credit for. All the pirate mascots walking around normally were zombiefied and were given permission to hide in places and scare the crap out of people. All the scenery was turned grotesque and strange, the railings and lamps draped with grubby cobweb and massive spiders. Captain Hook's ship was transformed into something akin to The Black Pearl, all rotting timbers and destroyed sails. The rides' themes were changed to be more terrifying, the coasters decorated with splatters of blood. Roxas loved it: he loved horror and thrillers; Demyx was on the same wavelength as he was. Zexion didn't care for it and didn't play along with anything, but apparently Riku...

The werewolf-dressed man jumped as he heard a chainsaw starting up a couple feet from him. Roxas had the feeling that, had those appendages Riku was wearing were real, his ears would be flattened to his head and his tail would be between his legs. The blond chuckled at the adorable thought. Riku turned and forced a smile, his eyes darting to the side where the chainsaw pirate (wait, what?) was revving up his weapon to scare the populace. The blond leaned up to his ear.

"You know, we don't have to stay here if you're scared."

"I'm not scared!" Riku sniffed, drawing himself up. "Geez, I'm not some wussy--"

He yelped, clutching to Roxas as the chainsaw pirate sneaked up behind him and revved his chainsaw. The mascot looked like he was having fun, grinning with hideous false teeth. Roxas laughed and waved him off, hugging Riku fondly.

"...I hate this place..." The silver-haired kid squeaked, burying his face briefly into Roxas's shoulder. He collected himself in seconds, though, pretending none of this had happened. Not so easy when Demyx and Zexion _and even Roxas, his lovely__** boyfriend**_were all laughing hysterically at his expense. "I hate you guys..." He mumbled, jamming his hands into his pockets.

Roxas collected himself first, tears of mirth in his eyes. "Okay, guys. We're going home. Dem and Zex, have fun." He patted his pouting boyfriend's back, turning to the other two. "...and _you_." He made sure he had Zexion's attention, blue eyes boring into his. "...I want to see results by Monday."

The little scholar flushed, deep blue eyes going wide. "Fuck you..." He growled weakly, flashing him the bird. He was smiling nervously a moment later, though, as Roxas chuckled. Demyx just looked confused, then figured they must have been talking about some project.

"Good night, guys!" The big blond crowed, waving the two off. Zexion looked really nervous as he waved too.

"I can't believe you're scared of the dark... of all things..." Roxas chuckled, digging in his pockets for the keys.

"Shut up..." The third-year mumbled weakly, holding his hand nonetheless. They'd taken Roxas's car, because all Riku had was a veritable soccer-mom-mobile, well-suited to his various ASB projects, but not for the rest of life. The parking lot was chock-full. They were lucky they'd come hours before the park opened to get a spot. Too bad it was kind of a waste now...

"I'm sorry you had to leave 'cuz of me..." Riku murmured, downcast. He clambered into the passenger's seat as Roxas started the car. The pair was silent: one was ashamed, the other obliviously amused.

"It's no biggie, dumbass. I just wish you'd told me earlier that you didn't like that stuff..."

"It's _Neverland_! The most kiddy place on earth, _with pirates that sing in tune!_ I didn't know they had the potential to be so fucking scary!" Riku threw up his hands, exasperated.

"Ohhhh..." Roxas nodded, understanding. "Okay, I forgive you, then." He said easily, checking left and right before he swerved out into the freeway. It was pretty crowded for midnight, actually: Halloween night. "Don't feel bad."

Riku pouted. "It's a stupid, stupid phobia... most people grow out of it by the time they get out of diapers..."

"Everyone's allowed to have their manic panics now and then, right?" Roxas grinned at his accidental poetry. "Ooh, that was cool. Manic panic."

"It's was a pun, Rox, those aren't _allowed_ to be cool."

"Kill joy..." Now it was the blond's turn to mock-pout. "And that was _not_ a pun, Riku. I _know_ puns. Don't get me started." He grinned, looking briefly in the rear-view mirror.

"Why so happy...?" Riku frowned, but he couldn't keep it up. Roxas's cheer was infectious.

They pulled into Riku's apartment complex. Roxas shut off the car, withdrawing his keys. Riku gave him a questioning look. The second-year shrugged.

"It's Halloween night and I'm still hyped up. Let's go inside."

Riku's smile became lecherous.

"Rikuuuuu! Stop being so slow!" Roxas whined, twisting a bit.

"Oh, you know I just love dragging this all out--"

"Seriously! Move!"

"This is comfortable for me, thanks."

A huff. "I'll do it myself then--"

"No wait! I was kidding!"

"...Deja vu?" Roxas blinked. Then arched off the bed with a breathy cry, sheets slipping from his legs. Riku was definitely enjoying this, feeling that sensitive body twitch and wriggle beneath him with the most delicate of touches. Roxas felt like he had the best role, though. Receiving all the feathery touches and soothing, deep massages, all the wet kisses, all the licks and tiny nips. As fun as being on top must have been, for Roxas had never tried it before, nothing could compare to being loved like this.

Riku felt a shuddering sigh pass from the blond, met those warm blue eyes, hazed with lust. A lick here, perhaps. Roxas tended to like that spot. Immediately, the blond started whimpering, gripping the sheets, begging for more. A little suckle there sent his boyfriend into happy spasms.

"F-fucking... tease..."

"Whatever are you talking about?" Riku traced a finger delicately around that oh-so-sensitive area, brushing golden hair. Roxas whined low. "A tease? Me?" Oh, he was pushing his luck now, breathing right next to it. Sooner or later Roxas would --

The blond suddenly sat up in a fit of impatience and all but jammed his boyfriend's head down to his member. "Suck!"

– do that. And Riku would never say it, but hell, that dominance really turned him on. _Maybe __**that's**__ why I'm such a tease..._ The upperclassman wondered, licking and sucking and dipping in all the right places. Roxas melted into a pile of happy blond, whimpering and hissing contentedly. This was good.

_Maybe I should try topping sometime... I like that control...only occasionally, though. Ohfuckwhatdidhejust__**do**__?! _

Roxas almost died of pleasure. "God, right there, right _there_!" His body arched into the touch, his mind going out the window.

A soft cry, breathy and mindless. The little blond flopped into a gooey pile, limp and happy. Riku gently withdrew, licking his lips with a satisfying smack. He gently wiped up Roxas, the blond too dopey to do much.

"Don't fall asleep on me _now_..." Riku whispered in the shell of the blond's ear. Roxas shivered, opening foggy eyes. He hummed, twisting into his stomach, catlike.

"Do it like a werewolf and go doggy-style." The blond murmured, backing suggestively into Riku. The upperclassman's breath hitched. Had Roxas seriously just said that? "Your ears are still on, right?"

They were. Riku had forgotten about those; this could be fun. Aqua eyes darkened. He let out a guttural growl, unbuttoning his shirt, almost ripping it off in his haste. Roxas tensed for a bit, surprised that Riku was playing along with it. Then:

"Me-yow." He murmured, eyes darkening. Riku reached over to pry open Roxas's mouth, then nipped at the small of his back, two things he'd never tried combining before. The catlike blond almost bit his fingers off in surprise, catching himself just before he clamped down. He sucked lustily at those fingers, making them drip with slick saliva, his tongue swirling for added effect. Riku felt himself go a little harder, letting loose a burst of breath. He withdrew his fingers, catching a little saliva on Roxas's back before slicking in one finger, then two. The blond purred, backing into that intrusion, making them go deeper. _Oh fuck that's hot..._

"Eager, are we?" Riku raised an eyebrow, pausing to shake off his pants. And that tail...

Roxas drew out another meow, enjoying this immensely.

"Fuck me, doggy."

There's a fine balance to be kept during sex: your own pleasure, and that of your partner's. Riku decided to focus on the former for now.

He pushed in quickly, filling Roxas. A whine of pleasure escaped him; he did it again. Roxas had frozen at first, wincing at the blunt pain, but then he'd relaxed. It was kind of a turn on, actually, being fucked a little violently. Another thrust sent the blond scrambling for something to grab onto; something to bite or grab-- _something_! _Anything_ to get that feeling back. A handful of sheets sufficed for now.

"Rraaagh..." he garbled, words absolutely failing him as Riku pounded him into the mattress. He had to get _closer_! "Deeper!" He managed to get out, pressing back into his heaving boyfriend. Beads of sweat dripped down his back, the silver-haired boy lapping away each drop.

"As you wish--!" He affected a British accent, levering Roxas a little higher to change his angle. The blond was too busy breathing to laugh. Riku pounded in harder, growling as he went even deeper in Roxas than before. A soft cry ripped from the blond, Roxas helpless to do anything in that position. Tears leaked down his face. So amazing. Riku was amazing in bed...

Another thrust and Riku came so close-- Roxas was fucking hot. He probably had no idea how he was affecting the third-year. "Hot..." The silver-haired kid managed, thrusting deeper and harder than he thought was possible. "I w-want... to feel you..."

Ragged breaths. "Then..." Roxas's eyes rolled back briefly. "Go deeper..." He panted, struggling to hold himself up. But he wouldn't let himself fall _yet_. He couldn't. This was just too good... "I want... to be... withyounow--!" He cried out, a whining, messy completion as Riku hit that place deep inside again and again--

"I love you..." The little blond's face was awash with happy tears. Riku gave a couple more thrusts, then tensed. Roxas winced, knowing what was coming next—literally--but then Riku pulled out last second, coming messily all over the blond's stomach. The blond blinked fuzzily, not sure what had just happened. That weird, kinda unpleasant feeling hadn't happened, but now there was... on his belly... "Omigod I love you even more..."

Riku grinned lustily, panting. He knew that Roxas hated it when he came inside, though the blond had never gone and actually said it. "Woof." He said, tapping his ears.

"We're so kinky..." The blond mumbled as he sat up carefully, trying not to spill onto the sheets. Riku scooped him up bridal-style, leaning him against that firm, still-heaving chest.

The third-year planted a kiss on the blond's forehead. "Correction: you're kinky. You suggested it, remember?"

"Mmm... maybe..." Roxas was put into the shower to let the cum drain off. Riku knelt down beside the tub, kissing him.

"We're both special." He amended, leaning in with a sponge to help him wipe off.

"Yup..."

They eventually mustered up the will to go back to bed, Roxas limping only a little. Riku drew the sheets around them, then cuddled into the little blond, breathing in his scent.

The little nightlight he kept close to his bed gave off a little golden glow.

* * *

I wonder if I'm actually any good at writing these types of scenes...


	33. Expectations

What do two people who are mutually attracted to each other in a non-platonic way do? They hook up, right? They start kissing, going to things together, doing things together, maybe one night they'll get into heavy petting and then sex will come up... but yeah, you know.

My current problem: this silver-haired idiot keeps not noticing that I was attracted to him! Either that or he's being a _real_ good tease. I thought I was being obvious. I put up with his history lectures when it came to a certain castle. I talked to him more than anyone else, even though I was rooming with two other people and sat next to a lot of friendly people in my math classes. I even _fed_ him with the _same_ utensil_ I'd _been using five seconds before! _Nobody _gets to do that with me_, _c'mon! I don't get it! Is he _that_ thick? He's gay, right? He said he was about two weeks ago, and since then I've given up the idea of Aerith. She's Zack's now. The guy's about to _propose_ to her, dammit. He told me so over that last Skype session.

He's so scared right now. I told him he was worrying over nothing. What's the worst that can happen? Wait, no, let's not go there.

Anyway.

Riku. Is. A. Fucking. Bonehead.

But he's an extremely gorgeous, very girly, very catty, bonehead that I am very much attracted to _not only_ in looks but also because shit, the guy's smart as a whip. When it doesn't come to this kind of stuff, he's brilliant. The kid's at the top of his class at a school that's famous for engineering. It doesn't get much smarter than that. No. He's just a fucking retard when it comes to noticing that people like him. Or maybe he'd desensitized to it or something: I can't imagine that he hasn't gotten asked out before. Even by guys. I mean, there are sure enough homos around here that would have to have asked him by now.

So Riku's absolutely oblivious, the stupid/brilliant architecture major, to my attempts at getting him to notice that I like him. Maybe I'm not being obvious enough? Maybe he's the type of guy I just need to up and ask out. No, that's stupid. What if he doesn't like me back?

No, scratch that. I remember the way he looked at me the first time we met for tutoring. The guy was practically drooling: there's no way he's not at least a little interested... right? I'm not the greatest at reading people but I'm pretty sure he was looking at me like I was a gift from god.

Maybe I just need to go ask him. That'll at least let me sleep at night, right? Just a confirmation: does he like me or not? That's _all_ I need an answer to.

"Cloud?" Speak of the devil.

I sat up, stretching nicely, making sure to expose a little midriff. _Act casual, right?_ "What took you so long? I almost fell asleep..." I mumbled, blinking the drowsiness from my eyes. I let my lips part a little(girls usually can't resist the slightly-parted-lips look. Not that Riku's a girl or anything, but...). _You fucking hot thing. You're the one that made it so I can't sleep anymore..._

Riku flushed a bit, avoiding his eyes. "I was hanging out with Paine and I lost track of time..."

"Huh..." I maintained a carefully neutral face. _That punker girl? Eh, she's a lesbian. No threat._

"So, uh... anything new in class? Finals just ended, so I guess..." Riku paused, then burst out laughing suddenly. "Oh god, Zexion's gotta be going neurotic just about now..."

_The silver-haired almost-midget. Not Riku's type: too boring._ "Why?" I asked disinterestedly.

"He's the only one who can grade all the papers in his class. There's gotta be at least three hundred of them to grade..."

"Holy shit. Is he gonna make it?" I asked, my curiosity piqued despite myself. Riku shrugged.

"The guy's amazing: he's pulled stuff like it before, but he gets a little suicidal around the two-hundredth paper... we should bring him coffee later." He snickered.

"I heard chocolate helps lift the spirits..."

"That, too. So no new stuff?"

I leaned back again, bending over my chair so Riku got a nice view of my abs. "Nope."

He gulped, avoiding his eyes again. He busied himself by fiddling with his newest earrings, a pair of... conch shell, were they called? Whatever. The type that wraps around the edge of your ear, usually with a little bead or stud.

"So, uh..." Aw, he was blushing. Adorable. "Since there's nothing to study, you wanna hang out? We can go get coffee or something..."

_Yessss..._an ideal date. This was the perfect moment to find out once and for all. Whether this bonehead actually liked me or not.

It was nippy outside. I adjusted my scarf accordingly, wincing a little at the chill. Cold for this late in November... come to think of it, that holiday this nation celebrated... Giving Thanks Day? It was this week. Meaning Riku would leave to see his family soon. Do it now.

I glanced over at my tutor as he lead the way to the best coffee on campus, Blue Nocturne. He was hunched in slightly, not having a good windbreaker to stop the intruding cold. His eyes met mine briefly: we both looked away. Aw god, why was I chickening out _now_? We were almost there: I could see the coffee shop around the corner. I mustered up the guts finally, the words on my tongue--

And suddenly my tutor stopped and pulled me close to him, our faces inches away for a moment, then suddenly his chilled lips were on mine.

Riku. Was. Kissing. Me.

And then he was gone. _Wait, __**what**_? Riku was running from me. From that kiss he'd started.

… and hadn't finished. Not until I said so. I took off after him, knowing I was fast enough to catch up in no time-- or maybe not. Shit, the kid was fast.

"Riku!" I yelled, scaring a couple of passerby we plowed through. "Riku, stop!"

The other kid only ran faster, increasing his pace. I could hear his breaths coming ragged, catching and hitching in ways that didn't seem healthy. Panic fueled my steps now. I was never going to see him again after this: we didn't go to the same school. I didn't even know his last name! He was never ever going to look at me--

"Riku!"

He chanced a look back, eyes wild with fear. Riku stumbled over a pothole, then fell, book bag and all. Shit that looked like it hurt; that must have _majorly_ hurt. I caught up to him as he was struggling to get up, his bag's strap tangled up around him and preventing him from moving.

"Ri--" I stood over him uncertainly.

"_I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't mean it--_" He yelped, voice cutting out as he panted for breath. He was heaving panicked, halting breaths, tears dripping down his face. I moved to help untangle his bookbag from him-- he flinched. He _flinched._

"I'm not gonna hurt you." I growled, relenting nonetheless.

He was afraid of me...?

Riku's breath caught for a second and he coughed helplessly. I looked up to see a few students crowding around hesitantly.

"He's gonna be fine, don't worry." I said loudly, turning back to my love interest, currently coughing up a lung. I carefully reached around to get his book bag out from under him, untangling that strap from his shoulders. "You're such a bonehead sometimes..." I sighed, checking the bag for damage. Riku sniffled, still trying to get his breath back. He hadn't met my eyes yet.

"I'm sorry..." He sniffed, taking a chance and finally looking at me.

I took the moment to press my lips to his flushed ones. Wet aqua eyes widened, the last of the tears dripping down his cheeks. He tasted strange, but in a good way. I drew back enough so he could breathe a little.

"I've been meaning to ask you out, bonehead." I mumbled, smoothing his hair back from his face. "But I guess I'm never obvious enough, huh?"

He was still shocked, but recovered impressively. "No, I guess not..."

"Will you go out with me, Riku?" I asked, the words coming to me more easily than I thought.

Those gorgeous eyes widened impossibly further. He took me in for a kiss again. Oh man. This is exactly the kind of answer I wanted.

"Haaawt..." A guy commented, his companion snickering. A couple girls nearby giggled, probably pointing at us.

"Let's move, shall we?"

"Yeah..." Riku came away breathlessly, a smile growing

* * *

So these last two chapters are for the few people reading this who haven't given up on my dragged-out story yet. Yay gratification! And the word that sorta rhymes with that!


	34. Stars

Thanksgiving. Riku kinda of hated the holiday, actually. He was always forced to spend time away from his friends, the only people he really trusted outside his family. It was full of food that he didn't like... well no that was a lie. He loved the food. Just not the turkey. And it meant going back home. Home might have been where the heart is, but if that was the case, Riku's heart was full of crappy memories. Things he didn't want to think about. Just... no.

So he was sitting on his balcony, trying to forget the fact that he was at his house again. This all-too wealthy house that he'd been born in, raised in, taught in... brought home from the hospital in-- _shit_. The kid buried his face in his hands in a brief moment of panic. He hated this place. It was full of memories he couldn't stand.

He didn't know whether his parents knew he hated it; he always put on a smile whenever they were around. His parents had done so much for him, the least he could do was visit for Thanksgiving, right? Aqua and Terra were the sweetest parents he'd ever seen, always there for him, always worrying about his attacks. They didn't hesitate to take action when they saw something was wrong, and sometimes Riku's heart ached with guilt at their worry. He hated this place, but he loved his parents...

_B'aww..._

He missed Cloud already. They'd been dating officially for the last week. How strange to think that stupid tutoring sessions could transform into an infatuation... sounded like something out of a shojo manga. Not that Riku read those... much.

He did wonder how fast Cloud would want to go with this. They'd known each other for all of a month before that fateful day... he still had bruises on his knees, and damn they hurt. The blond had been as eager to kiss as he was, but Riku... was unsure.

See, he'd never dated before. Homo though he was, he just didn't find anyone out there to his liking. He'd been asked out, sure, by _girls_. He shuddered at the thought and the little memories that drifted by with them. (Thank god for Paine. He would have gone psycho by now if not for her.) Riku was new to dating. Middle school... well, let's not go there. And the all-boys academy had not made for a great dating pool. High school had been crap, too, until he'd met Paine and her friends, Rikku and Yuna. And even then, he wasn't interested in girls; the guys were either all too emo or too flaming for his taste, too. And so came college. Partying, getting drunk, dorm life, all that good stuff... _nothing_. There had been interest in him, sure, but it was all one-sided. Riku had pretty much resigned himself to being an old maid for life: he was just too picky for his own good.

Now that he had a boyfriend, though... well this was a whole new ball game. A game where Riku couldn't tell where the boundaries were or what all the specific rules were. If he took Cloud back to his apartment, for example, would the blond assume he wanted to have sex? That was the point that was worrying Riku the most. The sex part. Undeniably the most prominent part of any relationship, right? What if Cloud wanted sex after the first real date? Better question: what would he do if Riku refused? What would happen? He just didn't know what to do.

Riku huddled into himself, gazing at the stars sprinkled across the sky. At least here he could see the stars: it was always too cloudy or polluted to see he stars in Radiant Garden. They were beautiful...

A vague memory suddenly came to him. Looking out a rounded window, clutching at the bars of something... seeing those tiny lights in the sky, reaching up as if he could grab one...

"Riku! Come on down! Dinner's ready!" His mother called, startling him from his reverie. The silver-haired kid sat up after a moment, dusting off his pants.

"Coming!"

For all the warm food and leaves scattered around the table, his parents looked a little somber. Riku blinked, sitting down uncomfortably.

"It... looks delicious..." He tried for a smile. Terra and Aqua gave weak smiles back, their eyes clouded. "What's wrong?" Riku frowned, looking confusedly at them. His parents exchanged looks, faces falling.

"There's something we've decided to finally tell you, Riku..." Terra sighed, folding his hands together awkwardly. His father had never really been one for speeches. Riku felt himself tense a little. _What, did someone die? Is someone sick with cancer or something? Did they lose their jobs? Am I gonna have to quit school? What's going on?!_

He cleared his throat, looking expectantly at his parents. "What?"

"We wanted to wait until you were twenty one. Seemed like the right time to say it..." Aqua started, absently folding her napkin a few times. "Riku..."

His father finished her sentence. "You're adopted."

A blink from their son. Then another.

"Wait, that's it?"

Now it was his parents' turn to blink. "What do you mean, 'that's it'?"

Riku let out a relieved laugh, though he know he felt part of his mind going numb. "When you guys seemed so serious, I thought someone had cancer or something..." The laughs died in his throat.

"...Seriously?" Aqua eyes were confused, a little hurt.

"You were... something happened at birth and your mother died." Aqua began. "They didn't tell us the details. I think they were as confused as we were, somehow..."

"Aqua had an accident when she was eighteen. She couldn't have kids, so we were 'in the market' for one, if you will."

Riku was quiet, processing all this, his eyes dark.

"And then we were at an orphanage near Hollow Bastion. We saw you..."

"You were the most wonderful boy there. We knew immediately that you were the one!" Aqua sighed, eyes moistening. Terra squeezed her hand, nodding. "We just had to get you out of there!"

Riku felt his own eyes start to prickle a little. _They wanted...__** me**__? Of all the kids there..._

"We still don't know what happened to your family, because the hospital you came from didn't really have any details, either. Your father seems to be still alive, though." His adopted father mentioned. God that felt weird. Terra was 'dad', not adopted father. Riku felt a prickle of anger.

"Don't call him my father. Not if he abandoned me like that." The third-year said bitterly. "_You're_ my father, dad." He couldn't look at them for some reason. He didn't... know... he...

Terra and Aqua were quiet. Riku tried again, growling past the lump in his throat.

"What I mean... I don't care... if you guys are my 'adopted parents' or something... you're still my real p-parents...right?" _Oh god no. I'm crying. Why am I getting so emotional over this?! It's not that big a deal... _Riku just couldn't look up. He was being such a wuss, crying into his plate. This was _stupid_. College-age kids don't cry...

He felt his parents' arms around him suddenly. "That means a lot to us, honey."

The three of them enjoyed the best Thanksgiving meal yet.

* * *

B'aaaawww I really liked writing this one...


	35. Hold My Hand

"Roxas..." Nothing but a hazy murmur. "You'll be better off now"

"Am I the one that... did this to you?" Roxas murmured, so confused. So behind. She was... she was...

"No.. It was my choice. To go away now... better that than to do nothing and let the Organization have its way..."

A pause. Her breath was coming short. "I belong with the sky... and now... I'm going back to be with it..." No. Nononono. This wasn't happening. He could see the blood pooling from her back, dripping into his fingers.

"Roxas I need you to do me a favor... kingdom hearts..."

"Xion!" A wail. Her pulse was fluttering, her eyes clouding. No. Not his best friend! No!

"It's too late for me to undo my mistakes, but..." A weak cough. "...you can't let them have kingdom hearts; you _can't_..." She pleaded weakly, brushing his face tenderly. Stains of blood were left behind, small red marks on tear-ridden cheeks.

"Goodbye Roxas... I'm glad I got to meet you. You were my best friend. Never forget... that's the truth."

"No! Xion! Who else will I have ice cream with?!" Roxas felt an insane laugh bubble in his throat. Ice cream?! What the fuck did ice cream have to do with this?! He gripped her hand tightly, wishing he could give her life... But her eyes finally fluttered shut, the deep blue depths gone forever. No. She's gone. She's gone. No, she can't be!

Roxas couldn't breathe. He tried to, sucking in breaths like a crazed thing. He could hear an ambulance coming, could hear his parents crying, yelling for him. He picked up the object that had been clasped in her other hand... Kingdom Hearts... she had wanted him to keep it for her...

"Xion..." His heart gave a violent twist and he gasped, hugging her still-warm body to his. "I love you...I love you... I _love_ you..." He couldn't believe this was happening. Surely this was just a nightmare he was having, right? So why didn't he wake up?!

"Roxas, wake up!" And suddenly he was in Riku's room, his boyfriend's eyes wild. Roxas tried to breathe. He was drenched in a cold sweat, tear tracks down his face.

"Gone..." The blond wailed, still groggy. "She's dead..."

"Roxas..." Riku murmured, drawing the shaking blond in. This had happened once before, earlier this year, though he still had no idea who "she" was. "Roxas, calm down... it's okay..."

"No! She's _gone_! My best friend is _gone_! Nothing's going to be okay! Never again!" He cried, his voice cracking like some preteen. Roxas clearly wasn't awake yet.

And Riku couldn't do anything but hold him tight, hoping he'd snap out of it soon. He hated it when Roxas was like this! _His best friend..._?

"Nothing's ever going to be okay again..._ nothing_... she's _gone_... no one can replace her... I wanna die. I wanna die! Let me go with you! Please!"

"Roxas... no..." Riku whispered. He was scared. He was so scared. Why was Roxas being like this? Was he really secretly this suicidal? "Don't _say_ that..."

"She's _gone_..." the blond murmured brokenly. Over and over. A disturbing mantra.

"Roxas!" Riku couldn't take it anymore. He forcefully opened the blond's eyes, his own desperate and teary. "Roxas, look at me! Wake up!"

Roxas blinked.

He stilled. Wet blue eyes rolled up to meet pained green ones.

"...Riku..." He sniffled, suddenly going limp. "...hold my hand..."

The silver-haired boy complied, brows furrowed in concern. "Roxas...?" He was still terrified, unsure whether the blond was still asleep or not. "Are you awake..?"

A slow nod. "Yeah..."

"Roxas?"

Blue eyes were still on his. "...Yeah?"

The blond was scooped into a crushing hug. "I love you." Riku didn't see it, but those blue eyes widened impossibly. "I _love_ you... okay?! _Never_ say that you want to die. _Ever._ Because I'd die, too! You're so important to me, Roxas... _I'll _die if _you_ do. I _need_ you. So don't say that ever again!"

The little blond was quiet, his eyes filling with tears again.

"I'm sorry... it was just a memory... from a long time ago..." He drew in a shaky breath, clutching tighter to his silvery boyfriend. "I would never _think_ of suicide these days, Riku... I'm so _happy_..."

"Y-you'd better not..." The upperclassman admonished, pressing a kiss into those curls.

"Love... you..." Roxas cried, whimpering. "I d-don't deserve it... but I..."

"You're not drunk so you have no excuse to say that!" Riku half-growled, drawing away enough so he could take Roxas's face in his hands. "You emo case..." He pressed a kiss to each eye quickly, tenderly...

"Love you..." The little blond had a faint smile across his face. He was falling asleep again, was always quick to. "Never forget... that's the truth..."


	36. Precious Treasure

"What's this thing even for...? 'Kingdom Hearts'..." Roxas sighed, flipping his pendant between his fingers. It was a sort of gothic cross, like an 'x' with hooked points. He'd had it ever since that fateful day, where Xion... had gotten shot... The second-year felt his throat clench.

He'd cried all night though. He was done crying. For now.

"Roxas..." Riku sighed, sitting next to him. They were on the porch outside Riku's apartment, watching the rain fall just beyond their feet. The fallen leaves from the oak trees nearby had turned into soggy piles, the puddles of rain rippling with each silvery drop that landed. The sky was dark gray: easy on the eyes, but a bit gloomy nonetheless. At least the wind wasn't blowing.

The upperclassman wrapped an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders. Roxas leaned into him, gazing dully at his pendant.

"You'd think after all these years I'd finally get over it..."

Riku looked sideways at him. "Not really. Some people _never_ get over the deaths of their loved ones. I know some kids still start crying when they think too much about their lost parents or siblings..."

The patter of rain filled the silence, a comforting sound to Roxas.

"Xion... was my best friend since kindergarten. I think we'd even gone to the same nursery school. We were always together... it was just a given, ya know?"

Riku nodded. He'd had someone like that, too.

"And then... one day... she got shot in a random drive-by." The blond continued. "It wasn't even intended for her: she'd just been in the way!" Roxas fought tears, his voice cracking on the last word.

"That's disgusting..." Riku snarled quietly, holding him even closer. _If someone ever __**dared**__ touch Roxas..._

The blond nodded, pressing his sleeves to his eyes before the tears leaked out. "She was such a good person..."

"I bet..." Riku murmured, petting those golden curls.

"It was like losing a twin..."

"Mm..." Riku hummed, massaging temples that hadn't gotten enough rest last night.

"It must be weird..."

_Change in conversation?_ "What?"

"To have a twin... ooh, that's nice...right there..."

The silver-haired boy rubbed a bit more firmly into the skin, making a sort of neutral sound. "I guess so."

"You think they're telepathic?" Blue eyes closed in rapture. "You're amazing..." He turned and leaned back into Riku's arms, making happy noises. His boyfriend snorted with laughter.

"So I've heard. And nah, that sounds stupid... just some myth..."

"You know what's funny? Me n' my cousin apparently look so much alike that some people think we're twins. It's kinda embarrassing."

"Yeah?" Riku wasn't actually listening at this point, concentrating on massaging all that tension out. He'd moved down to Roxas's neck, pulling lightly at the corded muscles there and pushing gently yet firmly into that warm skin. He could tell he was doing well: Roxas was turning into a sleepy puddle of blond. _Thank you Belle, for those massage lessons..._ He thought of that pretty brunette in their French classes who'd been one of Riku's good friends last year. Of course, she'd paled in comparison to the adorable blond he had here...

"Mmm... I'm gonna fall asleep at this rate..." Roxas struggled to get up, pushing himself up by the elbows. "Thanks..." The little blond purred, nuzzling up under Riku's jaw. The third-year noted that the "Kingdom Hearts" pendant was back under Roxas's shirt: good. Out of sight, out of mind.

"I wouldn't mind that..." Riku murmured, sweeping his gaze back to the little blond's eyes.

A fond snort. "Well, I would. It's barely past noon."

"What do you have in mind for today?" Riku asked, helping him get to his feet. The blond stamped feeling back into his legs, adjusting his boot straps a little. It was still pouring outside, but peeks of white, non-rainy clouds were starting to show through as well. It was probably going to clear up in a few hours.

An upbeat theme started playing from Roxas's cellphone. Riku raised an eyebrow at the tune, not recognizing it. The blond picked up, smiling fondly.

"Hey, what's up?"

An excited tenor started burbling from the other line. Riku couldn't help the little flare of suspicion that razed through him. Another boy... one he'd never met.

"Oh. My. God. Don't tell me I've never introduced you guys!" Roxas did a spectacular facepalm, rubbing his face exasperatedly. "This has to be fixed! We've been dating for almost a year now, too!"

Riku was pretending to inspect his fingernails for dirt, but inside his mind was desperately working for a viable answer. It wasn't another man, he could tell by the boyish attitude Roxas was taking on. A good friend? Riku had though he'd met them all by now... let's see, Demyx, Zexion, his sister Namine, Simba, Jasmine, Hayner-Pence-Olette (the inseparable trio), Seifer that asshole, Vivi from drama, that total lurk, Setzer, Axel (Riku didn't really approve but the two were pretty close friends), and... yeah. That's all he knew.

"...I know, right? I'm so absent-minded sometimes, huh?" A laugh.  
"Yeah... oh, today? Yeah, sure! We were just wondering what to do! Awesome..."

The rain was stopping intermittently by now. Riku looked up, hardly curious about the weather.

"Crimson Jazz. You know the place, right? We've been there a couple times..." A pause. "It's the one that's all red, dumbass."

A lighthearted laugh from the other end of the line. Riku snapped out of it at the sound. That laugh sounded so... He shook his head lightly. No. It couldn't be him.

"Alright, alright, alright... I can't wait!" Roxas was grinning from ear to ear, an expression Riku almost never saw. The upperclassman remembered he was supposed to be jealous now. "Later!"

"Sooo... what was that about?" Riku wondered aloud, turning to Roxas. The blond was still grinning idiotically, and his heart loosened a bit. There was nothing to worry about. Roxas was his...

"I'm going to make you meet someone _very special_ to me." Was all the blond would say. "Crimson Jazz, two hours." Roxas bounded back into the apartment, saying something about doing the dishes. Riku blinked slowly. Then he shrugged.

_Meh..._


	37. Eyes

Zexion's eyes couldn't be fooled. Or so he liked to think. Before deciding that people were just too troublesome to study, he'd considered become a psychologist or a sociologist. In particular, he was fascinated by the webs of lies and artifices people put up around them. How many lies did you feed a child before it got too bad? How many beauty magazine pictures underwent massive amounts of photoshopping before being published?

He'd taken several courses in psychology, from the psychology of murder to the psychology of sex. He was pretty sure he knew the human mind very well at this point, and could tell when someone was lying. He was infallible. All he had to do was watch someone talk. When they started lying, they started acting differently. It was just too obvious.

Zexion had also taken several photoshopping classes and now possessed a keen eye for it. He could tell when a model's face had been blurred here or lightened there to make a wrinkle or zit just disappoear like magic. He could tell when someone had cut a picture from one photo and stuck it onto another, no matter how clever they were being about it. Maybe he just had a sixth sense for lying, he didn't know.

So he was very confused when he'd walked in on Riku and Cloud kissing fervently on their table in the Great Library. When they'd separated enough, he'd asked Riku when he'd broken up with Roxas. Zexion hadn't received a teary phone call, and the blond hadn't been acting any differently in the past week.

Riku had blinked, given him a weird look, and then asked:

"Who's Roxas?"

Zexion became very still. His sharp blue eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?"

The third-year rolled his eyes. "I don't know any 'Roxas'. I don't know what you're trying to pull here, Zex, but it isn't funny." He frowned, still holding his platinum blond boyfriend.

Riku wasn't lying.

He also wasn't, at least to Zexion's knowledge, an amnesiac. His new boyfriend looked confused, too, elegant blue eyes blinking. "Who's Roxas?"

"Like I said! I don't know!" Riku squealed furiously, gesturing at the little scholar. "Zex here is just trying to screw with us!" He turned to Zexion, snarling. "What, is this another one of your psychology tests?"

The little scholar wasn't listening, eyes wide. "You're not lying... what the hell is going on?"

Riku blinked at him, nonplussed. "You tell _me. _Now if you'll excuse us..." He and-- Cloud, was it?-- started making out again.

Zexion was still very still. The gears in his mind couldn't come up with a workable answer to this. The Riku he'd known was deeply infatuated with Roxas, held some high position in Kingdom Academy's ASB, helped tutor in the Great Library almost every day of the week, and was obsessed with jewelry, especially the kind found above his chin. Riku wasn't a two-timer. He hardly had time for _one_ boyfriend. But.. Zexion had seen Roxas with him today at lunch, in fact... oh dear...

"Have a good time..." He gave a half-assed wave and walked dazedly upstairs to the computer labs. This warranted research. Lots of research. And a test or two. That would help.


End file.
